Saturday, December 25, 2010

It's A Gift

I have always had this really unique gift.
It is the ability to piss off my parents like no one else.

I really don't know how I do it,
I just do.

And now I find that I can do it from 200 miles away without doing absolutely anything.

Am I good or what?

For some reason, I was expected to be out to my parents today.
We never go out on Christmas.
Always a few days after.

But, I get a phone call from my sister at noon to see if I was going out there.
I said no and Mom went ballistic.

Seriously.
I could hear her yelling from across the room.

She fixed all this extra food.
Not my fault.

I called tonight and only talked to Dad.
Apparently she was still mad, because he didn't ask if I wanted to talk to her when I asked how she was.

Dad said they expected me because I have been out there every other year.

What?

We always stay home.
We have not gone out there on Christmas day for several years.

I guess I am going to have to call every year and let them know.

What's Christmas without a little drama?

Friday, December 24, 2010

Overprotection Class 101

I am wondering if there's a class somewhere to teach this or does it just come naturally?

Because if there is such a class, I think Honeyman should be the teacher.

My sister says it's a man thing.
Maybe so.

But, it is still a bit annoying.
OK, if you're my daughter, a lot annoying.

She's 14 and he is worried about letting her shop around a Walmart by herself.
Or in an area by herself.
We'd still be in the store.

But, it was something convincing him that she could even stay home by herself for even a little bit.

I'm not even supposed to answer the door at night.

It could be the boogie man comin' to get me.

It's crazy.

I know he worries, but isn't that just a bit excessive?

I lived alone and took care of myself for how many years before he came along.
I am nearing 40, for the love of God!

Strangely though, he doesn't worry about me going out somewhere though.
He just worries that someone is going to come here and do mean things.

I don't get the man.
I have known him for 15 years and somethings I just don't get.

And I probably never will.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

I Have Nothing, Nothing I Tell Ya!

I just realized today I have no wrapping paper.

Ok, I do.

A tiny little bit of birthday wrap.
It has balloons all over it.

I am also almost out of clear tape.

In years past, I'd have everything wrapped.
But, this year I've been putting it off .
And now I realize I have nothing.

I am busy today and tomorrow so I probably can't get anything until Thursday and the weather is supposed to be bad.

I know there is still Friday.
But, if weather is bad, I may be snowed it.

So, I might end up wrapping gifts in newspaper.
And possibly masking tape.

But, I guess they will be covered.
And that is the point of wrapping things.

I also need to start my Christmas baking.
I give out baked goods to friends.

I have one to give out this afternoon and I have no freaking clue what I am going to bake.
I have about 5 hours to get it figured out and baked and over to their place.

I suppose I need to get my butt in gear and see what I can come up with.
Ta!

Monday, December 20, 2010

The Season of Perpetual Hope?

Christmas has never been my greatest time of year.
I've mentioned that before.

And yet, year after year I really try.
I do.

I don't know what it is, but I don't think I am supposed to have a great Christmas.

Thursday is the day my sis and our kids are to get together to make cookies.
We try every year.
Last year the weather was supposed to be bad so it didn't happen.

Now, this year, it is supposed to be bad again.
Hope to hell, it's nice.

Tomorrow Honeyman is finally going to the doctor to address some possibly major medical issues.
I am worried about that.
So far, every thing we worry about with him has turned out to be minor.
But, I know some day it won't turn out that way.

So, I have spent more time worrying about him and less time doing what I need to be doing.

I hate stress.
Sometimes it's all I can do not to curl up into a ball in bed and never get up.

I know no one really wants to read a bunch of whiny shit so I try not to do that.

Maybe I will feel better tomorrow.

I hope so.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

But, It's My Penny

Guess what the insurance company sent me?

A check for a penny.

That's right.

Now, I can go out and buy that piece of midget tootsie roll I always wanted.

I knew they'd send it.
It would have made too much sense to add that penny onto the last check I got from them.

On orthodontia, they only pay a maximum of $1500.
Which is crap to begin with.

They pay half the amount, but only to $1500.
So, if your kid has messed up teeth because a tube being shoved down her throat knocked the baby teeth out and in turn caused the adult teeth to come in every which a way, it is just too bad.

But, that's a whole other thing.

They sent checks for half of every appointment up to the maximum.

If they would have given me that extra penny that would be more than 50 %.
OMG!

So, my maximum last month was 1499.99 so they had to send that penny.

Honeyman had other checks so he took it with him to the credit union.
They laughed at him for cashing it.
They had never seen a check for a penny.

Why laugh at him?
That company was dumb enough to print him a check for a penny.

It's my penny.
I'll take it if I want to.

Monday, December 13, 2010

My Fun Filled Errand Day

Nothing is more exciting than Thursdays in my world.
The day of the week when anything and everything has to get done.

Doctors appointments.
Grocery shopping.
Oil changes.

You name it.
It's a job for Thursday.

So, last week it started out simple enough.
Honeyman and I decided to head to Bears in Ankeny for lunch.

Bears is a restaurant that has been around for ever.
We went there when we lived in Ankeny.
In fact, it was our first night out after Kiddo was born.

She was 5 months.

But, we heard it was closing Saturday so this was our last chance to eat there before they were lost to us forever.
But, they were so packed we couldn't get in.

So, we headed to Des Moines so we could hit Costco.

But, first we needed gas and I had to pee.

So, we stopped at a Kum & Go.
Affectionately known to some as ejaculate & evacuate
and to others it is just a gas station/c-store.

So, I went in to do my thing.
Another lady was in the other stall.

All of a sudden I hear this beep, beep, beep like a truck or something is backing up outside or something.
Next thing I know, this lady answers her cell phone.

I know, you are thinking just like that commercial with that guy at the urinal holding his phone.
Well, sort of.
She didn't drop the phone.
But, I am thinking- Really?

I can hear part of the conversation and the lady proceeds to tell the caller she is in Kum & Go going to the bathroom.
Then the caller must have asked if she should call back and the lady says "no, that's OK".

Why would you even answer the phone, when you're on the toilet?

So, anyway Honeyman and I decided to go to Fuddruckers.
He had never been and I had only been 20 years ago.
Plus, I had a coupon!

So, we ordered.

I got an ostrich burger.
Yes, Laura, ostrich is dry. I should have listened.

Honeyman got a buffalo burger with mushrooms and swiss cheese.

We ordered and got these funky coasters that light up when the order is ready to be picked up.

And guess what.

My burger had swiss cheese.
And his burger had mushrooms.

Lovely.

We ate them, just because I didn't want them to throw the food out.
That would have been a waste.
And I hate to waste food.

If it was nasty or undercooked, I would have complained.
But, it was cooked so we just let it go.
Plus, we didn't want to wait another 20 minutes to get our food.

The food was OK.
Nothing to write home about.

After that, to Costco to overspend.
I do that a lot.
But, we did need the groceries.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

O Christmas Tree!

I've been giving some thoughts to Christmas trees lately.

And I think about my earliest memories of a tree.

When I grew up, I didn't know anything about having to buy a tree.
I didn't know there were tree farms.

I only knew my dad would bring one home.

As, I got older, I realized it coincided with second season deer hunting.
Usually last day, to be precise.

When Dad was out scouting for deer, he'd scout for trees too.

And when he found one he thought would work, he put that to memory.
On his way home, he'd stop and cut it down.

I never thought it was odd at all.
Until my husband seemed to think it was funny.

Apparently, people just don't go out in the woods and cut down a tree.
Who knew?
Not me.

They all seemed like very nice trees to me.
Honeyman calls them ugly pines.

What I remember is seeing the big tree in the back of the truck.
I remember it almost reaching the ceiling in the living room.
I remember Dad stringing the lights, the rest of us putting on everything else, but the star.
And than Dad putting the star on top.

Not sure if he did it cause it was his job.
Or, he did it because he was the only person in the house tall enough without standing on a ladder.

As Dad got older the trees gradually got smaller and smaller.
Until they got small enough to be set on top of a table.

I remember my childhood cat, Tabby sitting under the tree like she was a present.
She used to drink out of the stand too.

I remember the year she climbed the tree and it fell over.
It was a big tree that year.
Tabby was a bit rotund.

But, luckily Mom was in the room and it fell just so that she caught the tree and the cat.
Tabby never did try to climb another Christmas tree.

These days, Dad doesn't even go out and get a tree.
He gave up hunting and my sister gave them an artificial tree a few years back.

I wish I had pictures of some of our old trees.
Guess it was just something we never thought about taking at the time.

I will just have to picture it in my mind.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Sleepless in Iowa

I am still up and I wish I knew why.
In about 2 hours, when I feel like going to sleep, I will be having to get Kiddo up for school.

Such is life.

And then when she heads off on the bus, I will head to bed and I won't get anything done tomorrow,err today.

All I did in bed was lay there so figured I might as well get up.
So I posted on yummy stuff and now I am posting on here.

I should be cleaning since I will be sleeping later.
But, I am not.

I seem to say that a lot.

I should be___________ but I'm not.

Maybe they should put that on my tombstone.
But, that isn't gonna work.

Cause I want cremated.
No urn.
Just throw me in the dirt and plant flowers on me.

I've had that plan for as long as I can remember.

I just see no sense in having me stay unhealthily preserved for all eternity 6 feet under where no one will see me.
Or, however long the embalming fluid preserves a person for anyway.

OK.
I should go know cause I got nothin'.

Friday, December 3, 2010

They were just EVERYWHERE!

We used to go to a Christmas tree farm every year.
We walked all over til we found
THE ONE.

Than Honeyman cut it down and we brought it home.

It was fun for the whole family and the tree farm sold all trees for $25 a pop.
Can't beat that.
Sadly, the couple got old, retired and that was that for that special tree farm.

There were a couple others we tried.
But, the one was hard to get into unless you went the weekend after Thanksgiving.
We tried, but they seemed to think we were supposed to hunt the owners down just to get in and buy a tree.

Another one we tried was easy enough to get the tree and pay for it.
The problem was the prices.
The cheapest tree was like $40 and it looked horrible.

It will be forever known as the Charlie Brown tree.

Why would anyone pay that much for a shitty looking tree that looked as if trying to add an ornament would cause it to fall over?

How retarded are people?

But, back to the great tree farm. They had lots of good trees to choose from and we all had to agree on it.

One year we picked a nice tree.

Well, duh.
Like we are gonna pick a bad tree.

Decorated it and everything.

Than it happened.
It was warm in our house and apparently a spider had laid her egg in the tree.
Really, no joke.
Seriously, who is going to check for a spider egg in their tree?

Well, now we know.

Anywho,
It was warm enough in our house that the damn thing hatched.

Just so you know that one egg holds a shitload of spiders.
We had baby spiders EVERYWHERE!

I just wanted to cry.

We had to take it down and throw it out.

Another life lesson:
Sometimes spiders come in on the tree.

You should check.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

What's So Great About It?

All through our lives we have words that define us.

Some we are born with and have no choice in getting.
Others we pick and choose if we want it and when we want it.

We are sons, daughters, sisters, brothers, mothers, fathers, blah, blah, blah.
The list goes on.

You get the gist.

Now, I am soon to be adding another word to describe me.
And I am not ready.

I am going to be a great-aunt.

Who decided to put a great in front of aunt?

Great implies terrific, awesome, totally fantastic.

Unless, you are a great relative.
Than it means you are old.

All my great aunts and uncles were old.
I mean seriously OLD.
They were so old, they were kickin' off throughout my childhood.
Yay!

Nothing like going to funerals all the time for people I didn't even know.
Well, I knew we were related and they were old.
That's all any of us ever need, isn't it?

So, I find out my oldest sister's oldest daughter is preggers.

I am not even 40 so I can't be a great-aunt.
There must be a law about that somewhere.

Maybe I'll just tell them they cannot refer to me as a great-aunt.
But, they can call me awesome-aunt.

That has a nice sound to it.
Don't you think so?

Monday, November 29, 2010

Seems Just Like Yesteday

15 Years ago I started dating Honeyman.

Well, 15 years ago sometime this month.

I don't remember the day, just that it was around Thanksgiving and that's the end of November.

I really don't know how people remember the day they met their future partner.
They remember the date they first went out or kissed.

No, I don't do that.

I got a month and a year so I am gonna call that good.

I can't ever forget the number of years. I just add a year to my daughter's age.
To get my anniversary, I subtract a year from her age.

Easy, peasy !

It is just so weird.
In many ways it feels like we haven't been together long.
That we just met.

Other times, it seems like forever.
Some days in a good way.
Some days in a not so good way.

We think a lot alike and say what the other is thinking.
It's like we are inside each others heads.

Which is cool and creepy all at the same time.

We have made it so far against big odds.

So many couples we know are breaking up.
And they were together for years before they got married.

We were an odd couple to begin with.
He was a serious partier, thinking it was time to slow down.
I could party, but was never one for going out all the time.
So, maybe not so odd.

But, we had some good chemistry.
And I was pregnant in a couple months time.

Birth control is not infallible you know.

And bless him, he stood by me.
He was willing to go along with what ever choice I made.

So, we had Kiddo.

And a year after that we got married.

We have been through a lot and there have been times when I wondered if we were going to stay together.

But, for now we are.
Things may change .
You never can tell.

Friday, November 26, 2010

Something (Or Maybe Nothing) To Talk About





Before I forget I want to give a big thank you to Average Girl for awarding me the prestigious tanned hide award.
All these awards and the attention makes me feel so appreciated.I am feeling the love.

I also have a picture to share. It just makes me laugh.

But, anyway.....

It was a pretty good Thanksgiving.
So peaceful.

And I got gifts( for others for Christmas) today.
The best part of that is I didn't have to go anywhere.
I love online shopping.

And I ordered the stuff Tuesday during Black Friday Deals all week.
And they came today.
Didn't even pay for expedited shipping.
How cool is that?

Yay!

I figure I better get everything now and be done with it while I am still hopeful that it will be a good Christmas.
The closer to the day that it comes, the more I just don't want it.
But, more about that later.
I don't want to mar my decent mood with thoughts of bad Christmas's past.

Of course, I think my dueling banjo penguins may be dead.
I got them out and put batteries in and they won't play.
Bummer!
I checked the batteries and they work in my booty shakin' Santa.

Booty shakin' Santa sings "Are you ready for this?", spins and shakes his tushy.
I'll have to take a picture of him.
Or video
So you can get the full effect.

I have never uploaded video onto the internet before.
It can't be that difficult.
Can it?

I bet a caveman could do it.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

It's So Shiny!

First of all I would like to give a big thank you to SSW for awarding me the Shiny Turkey Award based on my Thanksgiving story.
See, how pretty and shiny it is.
It's always nice to know that my story has been appreciated.

Don't know why I said first of all cause I really have no other points to make.

Oh well. It's out there now and I ain't changin' it!

I have to go bake a pie or two now.
Hopefully get to the bank today if the roads aren't too bad.
Stupid drizzly freezing weather.

But, that's what I get for living in Iowa.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Since When Does That Mean I Invited You?

We all have the memorable Thanksgiving story.

Either it's really bad or it is super hilarious.

My story could kinda qualify for both, I guess.

These days Thanksgiving is just me, Honeyman, and Kiddo.
Years ago, when Honeyman's grandma was alive and well, she came over too.

Except for one year.
Oh, what a pleasant surprise that was.

We were just planning on having us and Grandma G. like normal.
The night before Honeyman's brother calls up and asks if they are still invited.
What?
No one invited them.

But, my dimwitted sister inlaw(at the time), thought I did and she told her husband.
So, what are we going to say?
"No, you're not invited. Your wife is just stupid."
Instead Honeyman pretends he has a clue and says it's OK.

He's good at that.

It took me a while to figure it out.
The week before, they were up to visit and I asked her what their plans were for Thanksgiving.
I guess that is some sort of code for " Wanna come over ?" and no one told me.
OR Honeyman.
I thought I was just trying to make polite conversation.
Who knew?

So, we ended up with an extra 4 people for Thanksgiving.
Thank God we always get a large turkey.

So, my brother-in-law and 1 nephew show up at like 10 in the morning.

We don't eat til about 3 or so.
Grandma G shows up shortly after.

I'm left in the kitchen to cook everything and talk to no one.

About noon I put out the snacky foods, which include little smokies.

Sister-in-law shows up with nephew number 2 right at meal time with a crockpot full of
-you guessed it-
little smokies.

Anyway we eat.

My sister-inlaw eats tons and tons of food.
But is not happy no one is eating the smokies she brought.
Maybe if she'd have brought them sooner.
Just sayin'.

So everyone is visiting and sis-inlaw goes to the bathroom.
This is the fun part.

She clogged my frickin' toilet!

She comes out and Kiddo goes in.
Mind you, my daughter is about 5 at the time.

The water is rising in the toilet so Kiddo tries to flush again and it overflows.
She freaks thinking its her fault.

My sister-inlaw sees what is happening as we are cleaning up.
She gathers everyone up and leaves.

She just leaves and lets my daughter think it was all her fault.
Poor thing just cried and cried thinking she did something wrong.

Way to own up to your big dump, Lady.

But, that Thanksgiving will be forever known as the Clogged Toilet Thanksgiving.

Awww, memories!

Thursday, November 18, 2010

What Is Friendship, Anyway?

Here lately I have been giving a lot of thought to what friendship really means.

Growing up I never had any real close friendships.
Due to my upbringing, and the fact that I got picked on all the time I really never learned how to bond with anyone.

That fact is very sad to me.

Learning to be close to people is important.

I have learned, but it is still hard for me to make friendships and when I do it seems to be with people that don't open up about things.
Or seem to want me to share.

And I am at a point, I need that sometimes.

I have my husband.
But, that isn't always enough.
And when we are facing the same thing it is hard.
Another person would be nice.

He has that.
I really don't.

What has really made me start thinking about all this is because of my daughter.
Over the last several years she has had a variety of different health issues.

And each thing takes more and more out of me.

I have had people that I have thought were good friends, not once seem at all concerned about how I or my family were doing through all this.

My husband says they don't care because it's not their kid.
But, as a friend shouldn't they care enough about you to ask?

I think so.

After this whole gallbladder surgery business, I have really started to wonder how much I really want to be friends with someone that acts like its not a big deal.
That when you mention why your daughter has been sick and she is having surgery
the only response is- she'll feel better.
No phone call or email after the surgery to see how she is.
No response to facebook statuses that she is getting along really good.
Nothing.
Absolutely nothing.

I still care.
I just care a little less.

Maybe I shouldn't be that way.
But, that is how I feel.

Monday, November 15, 2010

It's That Day Again!

I get them every now and again.

It's what I like to call my "I don't give a shit day".

We all need an I don't give a shit day.

Am I right or am I right?

You can't just spend every day trying and doing and caring.
If you do, you are
A. stronger than I am
OR
B. gonna crack and need a heavy dose of Valium.

So, I take my I don't give a shit days as they come.

I used to hate when I would get them.
Guilt would settle over me, cause I felt like I should do or care. But, I didn't.

These days I give myself permission to feel good about not doing or caring.

I should be doing stuff online to make some coin.
But, I'm not
and I don't care.

I just refuse to feel guilty for not doing it.
I
JUST
DON'T
GIVE
A
SHIT

Try it.

I am sure that you will find not giving a shit suits you from time to time.

But, remember, all things in moderation.
You still should wear deodorant and brush your teeth if you're going out in public.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

The Good, The Bad, and The Very, Very Ugly

My daughter is so grown up and she got her first driving lesson yesterday.

That's the good.
Cause she did great and someday she can be my chauffeur.
Unless the feds pass that damn 18 year old license thing.

Why should she be my chauffeur?

Well, that's the bad.
I hate to drive.
It makes me nervous.
Like really, really nervous.

So, I don't do it much.

Now what, may you ask, is the very, very ugly?

It's why I really hate to drive.

This was many, many moons ago.

I was speeding down a gravel road.
I had a lead foot in those days and this guy I was with was egging me on to go faster.

I did and I lost control.
I ditched the car.

Oh, but I did more than that.
I get out of the ditch back on to the road because the car had enough speed and power.
I still did not have control and I went down into the other ditch.

I freaked when everyone started yelling for me to do this or that.
I took my feet off the gas, clutch, brake.
Everything.
The car died.

So, we were stuck.

Luckily, a farmer saw my beautiful ditch to ditch action and pulled us out with his tractor.

Seriously, that wreck would have been youtube worthy.
If there was youtube back than.

So, that was the start of my hate of driving.
Or maybe it is fear wrapped up to look like hate.

No one got hurt.
Except for a tall dude in the back seat bumped his head.
And I got on good authority that I'm sexy when I wreck.
And I guess that's all that really matters.
Right?

Most likely I will never wreck again.
I know that.

I still like the idea of having my own chauffeur.

Monday, November 8, 2010

I'm Too Sexy For My Sleeves!

Yep, that's what I am going to be singing in about a month or two.

I did it.
I broke down and bought that arm, shaky thing.
I don't know what it's called.

But, it is supposed to eliminate the old lady bat wings that used to be arms.
And who wants that?
So I am just going to do a preemptive strike.

No flabby-ass arms for this chicky.

Since it works on the upper body maybe it will have the nice added bonus of changing the gravitational pull the earth is having on my boobage.
With good arms must come non sagging boobage.
It's the law!

OK, so it's my law.
It's still a law.

I'd like to get one of those treadclimbers too.
But, alas I have no money and my house is too small.

If I could use my basement, it'd be perfect.
But, it is the sort of place Hannibal Lector would keep his victims before eating them.
So, I'll pass on that.
Plus, I don't want to disturb the toad that has taken up residence down there.

I know he lives there, he talks his toad talk some nights when it gets quiet.
Don't know what he is talking about.
Probably about how great it is that he is finding so many bugs to eat.

Anyhow,
That means no treadclimber.
For now, anyway.

Shaky weight- that's what the name is.
Now, that's doable.

Friday, November 5, 2010

NaNoWhat?

NaNoWriMo is apparently a word that everyone seems to know about.
That is but me.

OK, I do now.
I looked it up.

I used search.
I use search so much, I should own my own search engine.

But, I digress.
I have been checking out different blogs and people keep talking about NaNoWriMo.
And than I feel like a dumbass for wondering what the hell that is.
I figured out the writing and month part.
Thought maybe the No was for November.
So what is Na?

National Novel Writing Month
Ooooohhhh.

I will admit to my ignorance.
Not to stupidity.

Cause I just didn't know.
You can't be stupid if you are just unknowing.

I guess, you could be.
If you were told, but just didn't pay attention.

But, I was never told.
Therefore I am ignorant and not stupid.

So, what am I going to do with this new found information?
Absolutely nothing!

Not sure I could be classified as a real writer.
Ok, sure. I write this blog, I write articles for Bukisa, and I have a recipe blog I write.
But, I am not novel writing.

I see the funny in ordinary situations.
But, I don't know how to write a story about a woman in a high waisted gown who gets lost and almost dies and is saved by the down on his luck cowboy.

Not so it would be worthy of Harlequin, anyway.

So, I will leave all of that to the people that do know how.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Completely Bogus, If You Ask Me

IA.
Election day.

Supreme irritation and disappointment.

Not a surprise
But still a disappointment.

A former governor that decided 12 years ago that he didn't want to lead the state anymore changed his mind and got reelected.
Again expected.
But, wondering about what people are thinking.
You can't go back, no matter how much you want to.

And it's not like he was the greatest governor anyway.

Grassley won in the senate.
Come on!
He has been in there for 36 years and before that he was in the House of Representatives.
A change MIGHT be nice.

What really pretty much takes the cake for me is the judge thing.
Here is the thing-
The IA Supreme Court UNANIMOUSLY voted that the ban on same sex marriage was unconstitutional.
So, some doofus decided the three justices up for retention needed to be removed.
And people are going for it.

Now, I believe in the right for everyone to marry same sex or opposite sex.

But, for me this is not the issue.

The issue is that people are picking out ONE opinion they ruled on and decided they should not be judges based on this.

There have been other rulings they have made that were not great, but no one thought they ought to be kicked out because of it.

No, they pick this.
Same sex marriage doesn't take anything away from anyone else.

And it doesn't overturn the ruling anyway.

The court said that law was a form of discrimination.
I find it very sad that so many people think discriminating against anyone for anything is OK.

Congratulations, Iowans.
Bigotry is alive and well.
The people have spoken.

It's That Time Again!

It's November and CRAZY time starts around here.

From September on, it just never stops.

Birthdays, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and than the dreaded Christmas.

This year there was the added element of Kiddo and her surgery.

But, Thanksgiving isn't so bad.
It's just the three of us.
I make everything and it's good.
Turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes- the good stuff.

Than time to go nuts, making sure I have all the Christmas presents figured out.
I usually send out cards and bake stuff for friends.
But, not sure I am doing all that this year.

Every year I get less cards.
By less I mean 4 instead of 7.

Half the people I bake things for don't really seem to give a shit.

I know it is better to give than to receive and all that crap.
But, ya know what?
I don't care.

I get tired of spending all the time to either make cards or fill them out and mail them
I get tired of spending time baking pumpkin bread or cookies or making candy
and having little or no response.

Is it too much to ask that someone appreciate it?

A few people do. But not many.

And I am not asking for a return gift.
But a thanks somehow would not be amiss.
Having someone take it and sit(or is it set?) it on the counter with no word is a little bit disappointing.

Christmas has never been my best holiday anyway.
Growing up, gifts were always a disappointment.
I never had much fun.
It was always about obligations and not fun.

One year, my grandma died three days before Christmas
But she wasn't found til Christmas Eve.

And yet we still had to go down to the other grandparent's house on Christmas day.
Cause that is what you did.
It was horrible!

And now it is still about obligation and not fun.
We go into the inlaws on Christmas Eve and not have fun.
Whoo, I love that.

We used to do family pictures.
But my brother inlaw got divorced and since than they haven't done that.

Which I really don't get.
He has sons and they are his family.
Just cause there is no wife there doesn't mean it isn't a family.

But, whatever.

We don't have to do them.

But, on Christmas we stay home.
I hate going here and there so I decided we aren't.
My parents just have to live with me never being out there for Christmas.

Since mil won't have us do a no show, my parents get to deal with it.

Sometimes I wish I lived out of state.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Dave Sayer, You Can Come To My House

Really, I don't mind.
In fact, I'd love it.

I'd even make you cookies if you'd just bring me one of those great big checks.

What do I need to do to get you to come?

I enter online all the time.
I even buy some of your overpriced stuff from time to time.
I have never ordered magazines.

Is that it?
Do I need to get magazines that I will NEVER EVER read?

Maybe I need money to begin with.
I have happened to notice from all those commercials of winners that they all have nice homes.

No one lives in a piece of shit house like me,
or even a rundown trailer.

Ya know, the people that could ACTUALLY use the money.

I don't want to spend all the money.
Yes, I do want to improve my lifestyle.

Fix my piece of shit house or just pay it off and build a new one on the property.
Take a vacation that I can afford to take - you know lasts more than 3 days and more than 1 state over.
I'd like to send my child to the college of her choosing- one that doesn't involve coming out of school in debt to her eyeballs.

Is that so wrong?

I just want to buy a pair of jeans or shoes more than once every 3 or 4 years.
Before they get all holey.

All I can do is to just keep hoping you'll stop by with some big balloons and a congratulations.

I hope to see you soon with my PCH winnings!

Sunday, October 31, 2010

I'm a Myspace Girl in a Facebook World

I miss Myspace.
I never hardly log in anymore.
What is the point?
No one else does.

Scratch that.
I have a cousin that updates her status once in a while.

Everyone has moved to Facebook.

I am used to Facebook now.

But, I hate how they are always changing things.

You know what is the biggest part of Myspace I miss.

I miss the profile pages.
Each one was different.

That is if you gave a shit, anyway.

Mine is really cool.
It is a woman that is half demon and half angel.
And that is pretty much me.

But, you go to Facebook and everybody's profile is pretty much the same.
Some people have different boxes.

But, where is the color?
The uniqueness of the individual?

I know there is the page rage but unless everyone has it it doesn't work.
Plus I can get it for me but it gets messed up when my daughter uses it.
No, I don't know why.
And what does it matter if making it different is never seen by anyone?
Major downer, dude.

But, if ya wanna talk to the people,ya gotta go where the people are.
And that's Facebook.

At least they haven't all left for Twitter.

I'd really be screwed.
I have a Twitter, but I don't twit much.

Yes, I know.
It's tweet.

But, I'll call it twit if I want to.

But, I really don't get the twit thing.
When you want to post on someone else's you are supposed to write @username
I think anyway.
Not sure.
See.
Told ya I would be screwed.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Dishes Come With Directions?


I finally broke down and bought a set of dishes.
Nice ones, not the cheap ones you can fling around and they won't break.

I was so done with the old rooster plates in the cupboard that came with the house.
And my "move out of Mom's house dishes" were pretty much done for.

So, I went on the hunt for some cool, somewhat upscale dishes.
I found them.
I bought them.
And in the box with them were directions.

Imagine my surprise.
When did they start doing that?
And why?

From how to clean them to how I should put them on the table.

Oh my God!

Here is a picture of the dessert bowl. Isn't it pretty?


I love my dishes.
But, I don't really think I needed directions.

This belongs in the list of things that don't need directions but have them anyway.
Like soap.
Or gum.

It's all just kinda self explanatory.

Friday, October 29, 2010

My Day Has Arrived

So, today is my birthday.
I'm 39.
Whoopie!

I really had a pretty good day.
It was uneventful.

That is how I wanted it.

Usually every year, I want a nice gift and people to tell me happy birthday.
But, today I just didn't care.

Seriously.
Deep down.
The fact that I got no presents whatsoever does in no way bother me.

OK, so that is not COMPLETELY accurate.

My lovely daughter made me a slideshow on video that I absolutely love.
It is the sweetest thing.
Even set it to Happy, Shiny People by R.E.M.- which is a song I love by a band I love.

I just have to figure out a way to save it to my pc after she made it with a mac program.
Cause I'd like to keep it.

I got to do what I wanted.
Which is Chicken enchilada dip & chips and a great movie.
I chose Constantine.
It fits the time of year and we all love it.

I really wanted to watch When Harry Met Sally.
But Kiddo is not impressed with those types of movies.
Meaning a movie that has no violence, no superhero flying and the possibility of kissing.

So, even though it is MY birthday I was nice and didn't subject her to that.
Maybe I will just watch it later by myself.

But really, I didn't do jack shit today.

I did get up at the godawful time of 5 in the am to bake my pumpkin cinnamon rolls.
Than after getting the kid on the bus, I took a hell of a long nap.

Got up, and did
NOTHING.

I should do more of that.

Than I made the dip, and we all watched the movie.

And now, here I am.

Thinking about how I should maybe wash my dishes.
I don't want to.
But, I know sooner or later, before bed I will feel compelled to do them.

I hate that little neurotic part of me that makes me wash dishes before bed and fold all the laundry as soon as it comes out of the dryer.
Cause if you leave them in the basket for anything of time, they get all wrinkly.
And who wants that?

But we all have some little strange compulsion, don't we?

I'd really like to end my day doing nothing and not caring that I did nothing.
I will have to let you know how that went.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Function Junction, What's Your Dysfunction?

Some words of wisdom today.
I know.
You can't wait.

There is no such thing as a 100% functional family.
There is always some sort of dysfunctional aspect to it.

There are just different levels of dysfunction.

It runs the gamut from the worst at sex abuse to yelling and screaming to not talking things out like you should.

If anyone says they are a totally functioning family all the time, they are seriously full of shit.

You know why?
Cause EVERYONE has baggage and they don't just leave it at the door when they grow up and start a family.

If it were only that simple.

Just stick all your troubles in a bag and leave it wherever you want.
I wish I could do that.

Granted my childhood was nowhere near as fucked up as some people's were.
But, it wasn't perfect by any means.

Just when you think you have put everything behind you-
Whoops, there it is.

And of course, your spouse has his baggage.

No matter what some of it will end up in your family.
You can go through all the therapy you want.

You can think you have left everything behind, but there is always going to be something.
Cause it's in you and cannot be gotten rid of.

So, no matter what you hear spewing from the mouths of Dr. Phil or whoever, there is no such thing as a perfect family that always talks everything out and always has fun.
Where everyone knows where they stand all the time.

That's a fairytale.
Life isn't a fairytale.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Don't Give Me A Maid

Why does everyone want a maid?

I am horrified at the thought of having a maid.

Not because I love cleaning. Because I don't.

I am, however, too paranoid to ever allow one in my house.

I couldn't afford a maid if I wanted one.
Even if I could, I wouldn't have one.

I just don't want someone in my house that doesn't live here.
I don't leave my friends sitting around here, what makes you think I want someone I DON'T know in here.

I couldn't relax.
The whole time, I would be wondering what they were doing while I wasn't there.
So, that means I would have to be in the house the WHOLE time the maid is there.
I would follow her around to see what she is doing.

Making sure things are left as they should be.
Has no one ever seen "Friends With Money" starring Jennifer Aniston?
Art imitates life, that's all I'm sayin'.

So, if I am going to spend the whole time obsessing over what the maid is doing or following her around, I may as well just do it all myself.
Don't you think so?

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

But, I Don't Want To Get Older

Why is it when you're a kid you can't wait to get older.

Once you're about 21 or so, you don't care.

And once you're oldER, you want to stop the clock.

Not, that I feel like I am getting old.
I do feel a little older than 20 years ago.
But, I don't feel old.

It's just that when I was a teen my parents were 40 and if I turn 40 I am gonna be like my parents.
And my parents are NOT cool at all.

But, I am cool.( Do uncool people listen to Disturbed? I didn't think so.)
And cool people don't get old.

My daughter tells me once I turn 40 I will officially be old.

But, how can I be old if I am cool?

I can't.
So, therefore I am not getting old.

I will turn 39 on Friday and no more birthdays for me.

That is just how it is going to be.

Kiddo tells me I can't not have anymore birthdays.
Well, she can't call me old.

So, I guess we are at an impasse.

Honeyman is 41 so he is old.
But, he has said he felt like an old man 5 years ago.
That's different.

He feels old, I do not.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Decisions, Decisions

OK, so my birthday is coming up on Friday.
Whoo!

So, anyway it has been a long standing tradition that the birthday person gets to decide what to have for their birthday dinner.

Not go out to eat.
I make it.

For Kiddo, it was taco pizza.
Recipe on yummy stuff, if you'd like to try it.
We also had sour cream chocolate cake and bittersweet chocolate ice cream.

For Honeyman, it was seafood primavera.
And a small chocolate cake.

Now, I have to figure out what I want.

Last year, I did simple and grilled out.

Not sure what I want this year.

Chicken enchiladas sound good.
But I don't know.

I am not good planning ahead for meals.

I read everywhere to plan meals for two weeks or even a month.
Yeah.
That doesn't work for me.

I am more
Buy the stuff and make it when I feel like it.

Exceptions are when buying fresh mushrooms.
You have to use them up soon after buying.

I usually don't even know what I am making for dinner/supper/whatever you want to call it until at least 3 in the afternoon.
Sometimes not even til 5:30 and than mealtime may or may not be on time.

The defrost button on the microwave is my best friend.
I know.
How sweet!

Maybe I need to start going through all my cookbooks and try something new.
That would be good.

OK.
Now I have a goal.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Can't You Just Smell It ? *sniff sniff*

It is everywhere and getting worse all the time.

You gotta know what I'm talkin' about.

It's the bullshit.

It comes from everywhere these days.

You are just going through your day and, all of a sudden, there's just a big steaming pile of the stuff right in your way.

I miss the days when I didn't have to decipher why someone said something or did something.
But, these days, everyone has got a reason for doing what they do.

Yes, there are still honest people and truly there are some that are super kind and never have a motive.

But, I see less and less all the time.

Maybe I just see it clearer.
Maybe the bullshit was always there.

I always could see through the guy bull shit.
You know, when a guy is trying to put the moves on you.
He's just a little too smooth and charming.
That's the bullshit and you can't help but think "his eyes should be brown".

Some companies and people just dish it out and dish it out and other people will just take it at face value.
But, in the end it all comes out.

Like the big fat turd that it is.

It was crap from the beginning, made up to look like great thing.

And it isn't until it gets examined that everyone else can see it for what it is.

Shit.
With a nice pretty pink bow.

But, some people don't even look farther than the surface.
They look at it, like what they see and that is as far as it goes.

People believe what they want to believe.

I have seen it time and time again.

That person will look at you and say " They wouldn't do that".
And why the hell not?
Cause they say so?

People lie and do terrible things all the time.
And anyone is capable of anything.

We all have good seeds and bad seeds in all of us.
It is up to us to decide which ones to nurture.- Buddha

So, don't bullshit YOURSELF into thinking that what you see is what you get.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Weren't You Supposed To Be Talking To ME?

I am starting to think that believe ANYONE is allowed to have a phone ( or use one) they need to be required- yes, required- to take a phone etiquette class.

When I call you, I talk to you
and when you call me,
You talk to me.

That is the way it is supposed to work.

I understand emergencies and phone calls.

But, really if you are calling just to talk do it when you are not doing something else.
Don't talk to everyone.
Or your cat.
I am right here!
You called me, remember?

And if I call you and it isn't a good time, tell me.
Don't start talking and than talk to others.
Or keep saying "just a minute".

It's rude.

That's what I said.

I don't know why some people think it is perfectly OK.

I don't care that you called me and it is your dime.

I don't care that I called you and you are in the middle of something.
That's where you say "Can I call you back?"

I really don't get it.

It is like they are thinking " They can't see me so it must be OK."

Really? Can people really be that clueless?
I'm thinkin' so.

I'd like to think that they just don't REALIZE that they are acting rudely.
Maybe I just don't want to acknowledge to myself that they know what they are doing.

Either way it is still not kosher in Ruthland.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Not Sure What Is Goin' On

Have you ever just reached a point in your life when you really don't know what is what?

I am there right now.

At least that is my frame of mind right now.

I have hit my caffeine/sugar limit to where it is messing with my moods.

So until this passes, I don't know how much of what I am feeling is really real or just what I am ingesting.

I have always been a pop junkie.
I have, however, noticed that my brain only likes so much of it before it rebels.

And it makes me pissy and all around not fun to be with.

I am not a happy person.
And when Momma's not happy,
Ain't nobody happy.

So, I am taking a little break from that particular type of beverage.

It just messes everything up.

So, I am going through some major downer time.

Hopefully a week from now, I will be doing better.
But, I don't know.

I am afraid there is going to come a time when I am just going to never have pop again.

I miss the happy me and I am not even sure what the limit is.
I only can tell once I have crossed it.

Yes, I am always moody and go from happy to pissed in no time.

But, the overabundance of caffeine/sugar in my system cuts out the happy swing.
That just leaves swing from sad to mad and back again.

I have a food remedies book that says that some people are just sensitive to caffeine and sugar and it makes them more tense.
So that would be me.

So the honeyman is getting groceries after work and there is a sale on pop.
So, I told him not to get me any.

If I don't, he will.

Whenever I stop drinking it, someone is always thinking they are being nice by getting some especially for me.
I feel obligated to drink it so I don't hurt feelings or piss anyone off.
Next thing you know, I am buying my own.

I guess I am just going to have to piss people off for my own good.
Maybe, at Christmas time I will have to give the mil a heads up that I don't want pop.
But than I have to explain everything and she is not going to get it.

I have a couple months to figure it out.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

That's What It's All About

Do the hokey-pokey and ya turn yourself around

That's what it's all about!

Ya put your left foot in,
you put your left foot out,
you put your left foot in,
and ya shake it all about

Do the hokey pokey and ya turn yourself around.

That's what it's all about.

Such is life.

Sometimes ya just gotta shake it all about and get rid of the melancholy, the same old, same old.

You get in a rut and life gets to be not so fun.

You just got to do it.

I know I do.

Life gets routine and you just go through the motions.
You forget what matters and what's fun.

You just do it all because you have to.
Or you think you have to.

Just take a break and enjoy life.

You get tired, go take a nap.

Really don't feel like vacuuming today?

Well, don't.
And don't feel guilty about it.

I still struggle with not feeling guilty about not getting everything done.

But, it really is OK.

The house won't fall apart.

If it did, I'd be homeless.

I don't clean as much as I should.
And sometimes I do feel guilty about it.

But, I am not happy if all I do is clean every day.

I have never been one for routine.

Some people like routine.
They find it soothing.

I like doing things my own way.

Too much sameness drives me nuts.

So, we need to enjoy our lives a little more.
Show the people we love more TLC.

We just need to give ourselves permission to put our left foot in and know that it's OK.

It isn't so hard.
It can't be THAT hard.

Men don't seem to have trouble.

Maybe it is mostly a woman thing.

I know, I used to think about everything my mom did and what I'd get done and I felt pretty pathetic.
But, it isn't a contest.

I used to feel I needed to parent the same way and do dinner the same way.
If I didn't, I wasn't doing it right.

But, you know what?
I am not my mom.

I don't WANT to be my mom.

So, I really don't know why I thought I needed to do this or that.

It is my life and I need to live it as I see fit.

I still feel guilty sometimes.
But, less and less all the time.

Love me, love the dust in my house.

I have some cookies to bake.
I have a mean game of battleship to play with my daughter.
And I have a rock concert to attend with my husband.

Is my house perfect?
No.

Is my life perfect?
Hell, no! Far from it.

But, I don't need perfect. I'd feel funny living in perfect.
I just want to enjoy my life.

Monday, October 18, 2010

No Hurry, I Don't Have A Life Or Anything

Does it totally not piss you off that doctors and service people can just tell you they are gonna call or show up and you wait and you wait and you wait?

Cause I am telling you that it so totally pisses me off.

I am tired and I have a lot of shit to do today.

But can I take a nap or do my other stuff?
NO!

I have to sit and wait for the phone.
The nurse is supposed to call and the business office is supposed to call with the damages I have to pay.
Even though I have insurance.
I know.
WTF?

When you give a number for them to call, it would be nice if they'd do it.

It's like all these businesses think we have nothing better to do than wait for them.

I get it.
They are busy.

But, you know what?

I have a life too.

I have things I need to get done.

I talked to a friend this morning and she had to take an ENTIRE day off work for the cable guy.
Sometime between 8 and 5.
9 hours.
Doesn't that seem a bit ridiculous?

But, the business office is open that late so I might have to wait that long.

I am thinking of maybe just calling them.
I don't think they'd like that.
And I'd get the "someone will call you".
Yeah, whatever.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

What's Wrong With Being Born In A Barn

I have been giving this a lot of thought.

OK, maybe not tons.
But, for the last 5 minutes or so.

And it seems to me that asking someone if they were born in a barn should not be considered a bad thing.
It should be considered a very good thing.

That is if you are Christian.

After all wasn't Jesus born in a barn?
I know, you are thinking I am stupid.
It was a stable.

But, stable is just fancy talk for small barn.

So, just cause you were born in a barn doesn't mean you are as dumb as an animal that was born in a barn.

Unless you are thinking Jesus was also as dumb as an animal born in a barn.

But, leaving the whole Jesus thing aside, not all animals are stupid.
Many are very intelligent.

Just because they don't use people speak doesn't mean anything.
You can be mute and still be smart.

So, stand up and be proud of being born in a barn.
If it was good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for you.

Am I Losing It Or What?

I am thinking the answer may be a great big YES.

I don't think I am bi-polar because I don't go days on a high and then days on a low.

No, I am more of an hour to hour mood swing kind a girl.

It really doesn't take my mood much time at all from great to CRAP.
Or crap to PRETTY DAMN GOOD.

A few days ago was a really great day. After that the days were so-so.
Yesterday was a crap day until I just about had a major meltdown.

And now I am better today.

Course something will probably piss me off today.
It usually does.

Or someone will say something and make me think about other things and I will get all sad and depressed.

I seriously confuse the hubby.

He doesn't get how I can be in such a good mood one minute and get so mad in the next.

That's a conundrum, that is.

Maybe the next time I get pissy I need to grab me a cup of tea.
Apparently there is supposed to be something in the tea to make a person relax.

I just might have to test that theory.

I love tea so I am sure that will not be a hardship.

Ya know, last night I started a post on here and read through it before posting.
I realized how pathetic I sounded and deleted it before publishing.

I know, I know. Everyone has their bad days.
But, no one likes a whiner.

But just writing it and reading it made me snap out of my funk.
At least for the time being.

Until the next time.

Being the best I can be is a work in progress.

It's like alcoholism.
Except the problems are all in my head, not in a bottle.

Sometimes I don't even know where all this came from.

OK, I did not have a happy childhood.
My teen years sucked.

But, I loved my early twenties.
I was so happy.

Maybe it's because I did whatever the hell I wanted.
And now I can't just go wherever and do whatever.
It frustrates me sometimes.

I guess, deep down, that's where it all comes from.
Knowing that just because I like to go wherever the wind blows me does not mean it is what my family wants and what is best.

So, I sit down and shut up for the greater good.
And maybe that makes me angry.

I hate being angry.
It feels really bad.

But, I am not going to just up and leave my family.
That would make no one happy.

I am just going to have to figure out a way to let go of my frustration.

There are just so many things.

I love being able to stay home.
But, sometimes I wished I could make my own money.
I love having my own garden.
But, sometimes, I just don't want to take care of it.
I am really good at being frugal.
But, sometimes I wish I didn't have to be.

I am just all out of whack.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Hello, My Name Is Ruth And....

I have an addiction.

I am addicted to...


SURVEYS.

I know, I know.

How could I allow myself to be drug in this way?

I don't know how it happened.

But, when I see an invite in my Inbox, I just gotta do it.
Or try to anyway.

You see, if I don't do it right away it might be gone when I do try.

I learned that the hard way.

Plus the more you try to do, the more invites you seem to get.

It's a vicious cycle.

Just this morning I had a plan.
I need to get some blog posts done for yummystuff .

But low and behold, I open my yahoo mail and I have invites.

So, it's just a couple so I will try for them first.

So another one comes.
Now, three hours later, I still don't have a single post done.

This isn't good.

I need to get cracking.

I am already so far behind on that it is laughable.

I try to say it is because I am so busy with Kiddo and her health.

But, that isn't all of it.

I am addicted to making all I can off doing surveys.

If money wasn't so tight right now, MAYBE, I wouldn't care so much.
But, than again, MAYBE, I would.

So, I gotta go.
I need to do some yummystuff before I get more invites.

TA!

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Hanging In There

I am not looking forward to this afternoon
and yet I want it to get here and get it over with.

This afternoon we have a consult with a surgeon for my daughter.
She is 14 and her gallbladder doesn't want to do its job.

She has just been through so much.

Her medical chart is a million miles long.

Nothing like cancer or heart problems.
But still serious.

Ever since she was little she has had some kind of health problems.

First, she was on non-stop decongestants just so she could even breathe.
Had her adenoids removed and tubes put in her ears.
Also her sinuses irrigated.

Than later her tonsils became enlarged from a virus and would not go down so another surgery to take them out.

Finally after numerous sinus infections she was tested for allergies.

She was put on an inhaler type medication and she fought to the death not to use it.
So they gave her nasal spray instead.
She also had to take pills.

And insurance kept making us try this or that first when it had already been tried and we knew it didn't work.

Than she had her non-stop seizures and had every test known to man done.
CT scan
spinal tap
EEG
MRI and tons of blood tests.
I don't even remember everything.

She's had concussions and pneumonia.
The pneumonia was bad.
Went to the ER and was told she was fine
of course she wasn't fine.
We ended up back there and they admitted her that time.

Now, she needs immediate medical care, she goes straight to Des Moines.

But due to the seizures her teeth got knocked out when they put a tube down her throat.
Teeth grew in and they were all crooked.

Enter the world of orthodontics.
First she had the quad helix, which is basically a retainer that doesn't come out.
Next she had partial braces
Than a retainer.
A short break and now full braces for another year and a half.
After that 2 more years of retainers.

And can't forget the dermatologist.
Tried that but it really wasn't doing any good.
And the minute chemical peel was brought up, that was all she wrote.

As a parent, you do what you think is best for your child.

My husband and I have done that.

But, there just comes a point when I wonder when is it all gonna end.

She is 14 and she does not deserve all of this.

I know, I know.
Life isn't fair.

No, it certainly is not anywhere near fair.

My daughter has had more medical procedures done to her than I have.
Hell, more than my mom has.

Just doesn't seem right.

I know, somethings just don't make sense and never will.
I don't think we are supposed to make sense of everything.
It is the great mystery of life.

Some people will just say
"It's God's will"
and all that crap.

I really don't understand how that is supposed to make anyone feel any better.
Fine if you want to believe all that.

But, when something bad is going on that is the last thing I want to hear.
At that point I just want to tell those people to blow it out their ass.

Hello! I'd Like to Post Sometime Tonight

I have been trying for 2 hours to get on here tonight and post.
I tried everything.

And I do mean everything.
Switched browsers
emptied my cache
reset my modem
restarted computer.

You name it, I tried it.

Than all of a sudden.
I got on.

It was like someone took the cork out of Blogger's ass and it all came out.
Or maybe Google's ass cause I couldn't go to youtube or Google.
Even the sites with Google ads were loading severely slow.

Not sure what the problem really was cause other people seemed to be getting to youtube and their gmail accounts just fine.

So, I'd like to take this opportunity to thank my ISP for making my life difficult tonight.
I couldn't have done it without you.

All I wanted to do was post.
But, no.
Google's Will.

It is what it is!

Monday, September 27, 2010

Wild and Crazy Week

Things have been pretty nuts around here.

I still have enough pears to-well I don't really know what one could do with as many pears as I have.
Let's just say I still have scads of them.

Than had the garage sale with some fabulous finds.

And my kiddo is sick.

Either it's an ulcer or something with her gallbladder.
No ulcer causing bacteria and liver function is normal.

So she gets to have an ultrasound this Friday and maybe a scan if they think it could be her gallbladder.

So, I have been a bit of a basket case over the weekend.

I have also been trying to get my yummystuff posts up and I just haven't had much time to do this one.

What is that saying?

Life gets in the way when you're trying to do stuff.

Ain't that the truth?!

And I had to cut down the fat in food.
I am just not a low fat kinda girl.

But, I did it and it still tasted good.
Score one for me, Super Mom!

But she couldn't have cheese and all bland food.
Not that she had much of an appetite.
I think it was the thought that she wasn't supposed to have it that she hated.

How fun is that?
Yeah, she didn't think so either.

It's not like she is a complete carnivore.
She does eat lots of vegetables.

But she does love her cheese and the skin on chicken.
I'd rather do without the chicken skin, but whatever.

But, tonight cheese is back on the menu.
I just hope she doesn't get worse after though.

I think it will be light on cheese.
Just for some flavor, ya know

But, absolutely no chicken skin.

So, if you don't see me much lately it's cause my baby needs me and I don't have time.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Yay For Garage Sales!




I love me a good garage sale. I love the bargains I can find. Who says you can't find quality at bargain basement prices.
These are some things I got today.
I collect glass decanters and the two above are the latest in my collection.




This is another of my great finds. $10 for this bad ass leather coat. Can you say AWESOME!


These are freebies that couldn't be gotten rid of so I lucked out there.

I got all these books for a dollar. I was looking through the stack and the lady told me I could have the whole stack for $1. Can't resist a bargain.

This is another coat I found for 50 cents. I found this before the leather coat or I may not have got this.

So all in all I spent $13.50 for all this.
It was rainy today. And cold. But, it was also a day of great bargains.
We held our own garage sale and all in all made over $100. Yay!
I have always loved garage sales.
There are such bargains to be had. Over the years I have gotten a great many things that I still have.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Just Because You CAN Doesn't Mean You Should

OK, I am feeling a bit soap-boxy today.
So, I might as well climb up on it and get it out.

I was raised as a Methodist so I know all about the good book and the ten commandments.
I, however, no longer consider myself religious.

But, I do still go by the "thou shall not judge" thing.

No one should judge ANYONE for ANYTHING.

You might say they are stupid, cause they are acting that way.

But, you don't need to act like someone is just terrible through and through because of what they do or say or even dress.

If you believe in God, you should not judge.
At all.
No question.
Doesn't matter what it is.

You may not agree,but it is not your place to judge.
It would be God's job.

I really don't care if the bible says it is wrong, you don't need to condemn a person.
Once again,
You believe in God so won't He being doing that?

At the same time, if you believe in your religion, you don't just pick out what you want to follow and forget about the rest.

I am so tired of people not respecting other people for who they are.

I read things on the internet and I like to read comments sometimes.
So many are just filled with hatred for no reason.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

As you know, opinions are like assholes, everyone's got one.

So many people say they are Christians and do the church thing, but do SO many things that go against what it says.

There truly are people that really never talk bad about anyone and live their lives as good as they can.
But, that is pretty rare in general.

And I am not just picking on Christians.
All religions are like that.

And the same is true of atheists and agnostics.
Just cause they don't pray doesn't mean they are immoral.

There are good and bad people in every belief in the world.
It is human nature.
And humans can be pretty sucky sometimes.

Think however you want.
But, just because you can say it doesn't mean you should.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Missing The Good Old Days

Ya know, I do.

I know we have the internet now.
Which is pretty nice.

But, I miss a lot of how life used to be.

I miss the simplicities of life.

Like if you hated your job cause it was shit, you could quit.
Cause you knew you'd find another one before you lost EVERYTHING.

I miss how when companies would send you things in the mail that you didn't ask for, you didn't have to pay.
Since you never ask for it to be mailed to you.

When you got a free edition of a magazine, you used to get the free one before a bill came.
Now a bill comes and you never even got your free trial yet.
That so pisses me off.

You used to be able to go to the doctor and if you had insurance, you didn't have to pay anything until they heard from insurance.
That was so nice.
Cause what if something came up and you were short of money so you don't have co-pay money?
You just don't go, that's what.
I even know an ER that expects a co-pay before being checked out.
What a load of crap.
My daughter has pneumonia and can't breathe, but OK here's your money.

By the way, I don't go there anymore.
Besides that, they have crappy doctors.

What about loaner cars?
Car dealerships used to let you have a car to drive when they had to keep your car.
Not anymore.
You have to rent a car or find a way to get home.
Seems like they don't want you sleeping on their floor.

You used to could send a check to some place cause you knew by the time they cashed it money would be in the bank.
Now, most places represent your checks electronically so that isn't a such a great idea. Chances you won't win.
Mail is faster too so the odds are all the way in the company's favor.

You didn't have to worry about having caller ID just to make sure it wasn't a telemarketer on the phone when you answered.
I don't even think there was such a thing as telemarketing 25 years ago.
Yeah, that do not call law.
It works SO WELL!

All the companies do is not put their name on caller ID so you don't knew who is calling.
So you can't report them.

Bravo, Congress!
Another well though out plan.

Yes, we have drive-thrus everywhere for everything.
We have direct deposit.
We have debit cards and ATMs all over.

But, when it gets right down to it,
I liked things way back when.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

A Labor of Love

Fourteen years ago today, I went into labor with my daughter.

I didn't have her until the next day though.

I went to the hospital about 10 at night and the nurse sent me back home.

Two hours later I was back.
This time they let me stay.

I had back labor so my contractions weren't registering on the monitor.

It was a very long night.

I fell asleep in between contractions and my husband fell asleep too.

Morning came and they gave him my breakfast.

10:30 in the morning I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl.
She was 8 lbs. 9oz.

And she was so loud.

The only girl in the nursery.
Bigger than all the boys too.
And the loudest.

You could hear her when she was in the nursery.

I still remember her birth.

We have been through so much in her young life.

I really, really hated being pregnant.
I never want to go through labor again.
No drugs, maybe that's why.

But, I love my daughter so much and my life is richer for having her in it.

There have been times throughout the years that I wondered about my skills as a parent.

I have had my moments when I have been tougher on her than I should have been.
There have also been times when I gave in when I shouldn't have.

But, there truly is no such thing as a perfect parent.

As I look at my daughter and realize the person she is becoming, I am proud.

I am proud of myself for raising her to be this amazing person.

I am also proud of her for being true to who she is.
She is smart and sweet and determined.
She is silly and responsible and giving.

My daughter is great and I'm her mom.
And I am so very glad.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Hello, Are You Dead?

Exactly what kind of a email subject is that?

A phishing one, that's what kind.

It came from Nigeria and I am the long lost benefactor of some dead relative.

Yay!

That is unless I am dead.

Hence the question.

So, I guess I am dead since I do not plan to answer.

I do have to hand it to the Nigerians.
They are a persistent lot.

Those and the people trying to sell me Viagra.

Number 1, I am female so I have no need.
Number 2, I have drug insurance so I think I could still get it cheaper if I had to buy it.

My ISP wants me to BUY spam protection so it won't even come to me.

Don't I give them enough money?

Hotmail and Yahoo do it free.
Why is it so hard for my ISP?

Plus, they'd probably screw up and send me things with my email and my husband's email as the sender even though it is spam.

I wonder how they do that.

Isn't that kinda weird?

Why would I send something from my email to my email?
Maybe from one email to another one of my emails.
But not from the same one to the same one.

And since it says its it's from my exact address to that address it doesn't go to my junk.
Even though, it so obviously is.

I know you can send copies of cards to your email and it has your email as to and from.
But, you don't have the subject as
Viagra @ 60% off
Cause, Hallmark doesn't have cards for that.

I know.
I have been to their site.

For many of these email sending people
I would like to say

Good-bye, I AM DEAD!

Sunday, September 12, 2010

I'm a Killer!

Yep.
That's right.
You heard me.

I did it.
But, I had to protect my girl.
She hates them.

In fact, she is down right freaked out every time she sees one of them.

Can't say I blame her.

I always hated them.
No, not hated.
I still hate them.
I just no longer am scared of them.

I am, of course, talking about the mighty spider.

I, seriously used to run from the little buggers.

One time, I was alone and saw this huge spider and I went and got bug spray and kept spraying it until it's gigantic head just kinda deflated.

My heart was beating fast the whole time.

My husband was my designated spider slayer.

But, now I am a parent so I get to be the spider slayer.

And I just killed one.

It came running out from behind the computer monitor and I got the sucker.

I think it was living there cause it had been spotted on the desk before.

Wap
Wap
Wap

That was all she wrote.

So, we are all safe.

Not sure why they have always given me the willies.
They just have.
Maybe it's a girlie thing.

They are crawlie things and so little they can't hurt you.
Unless you meet a poisonous one.
But, that is rare.

Dad used to keep telling me that they are more scared of me than I am of them.
I'm so much bigger.

But, I am not so sure about that.

If they were as scared as me, their little bodies would just give up and die from sheer terror.

But, I am better.
I hate them, but I am not scared.

Come on Spider.
Bring it on,
for I am the mighty spider slayer

Saturday, September 11, 2010

It's My Reflection Period

So many things are happening right now and every thing makes me think.

My daughter turns 14 this coming week.

It is great and yet kinda scary.

It truly does not seem like she should be so old.

I can still see her riding around on her dad's back like he was a horse.

And now she is in her final year of middle school and wearing braces.

Mom used to say the older you get, the faster time goes by.
So true.

Before I know, it she will be out on her own.

This year there is so much more going on.

I have a friend that is getting married tomorrow.
Good for her.

She has waited so long to find the man she wanted to marry.

So that is another great thing going on.

But, I also found out today another person I know has breast cancer.

Things like that puts a lot of things into perspective.

She beat it once and now it's back.

Now, thinking about how I am going to juggle all the bills this month seems a lot less insignificant.

I know the bombing of the twin towers is in a lot of people's minds.
And it is a very bad thing that happened.
There is no doubt about that.

But, all my thoughts are a little closer to home.

And in the end that is what you need to bring back from everything you experience in life.

What really matters to you.

For me it is everyone that I care about.
As it should be for us all.

Celebrate life! That is what it's all about.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Pears and Apples, Oh My!



I received a huge bounty from my parents this week.

I had told my mom that I'd take some of her pears when they were ready cause she doesn't really want them.

So, Mom decides to give my a boatload.

Seriously.
A boatload.

This isn't even all the pears. I have some over on some racks that I normally used for onions and garlic.
None of those this year so a pear holder it has become.

Plus, Dad picked me some apples.
A bushel full of apples.

So I am going to be busy for some weeks to come.
I now have to make jams and jellies.
Sauces and butters.
Pies and breads.

Oh, the fun I will have.

I didn't even take all their pears and anywhere near all the apples.

I have a feeling I may be sick of pears before it is all over.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

I Really Shouldn't Have Read That

Do you ever wish you didn't know something?

Yes, knowledge is power.

But, sometimes it gives you the EWW factor as well.

Today, I was label reading on the bag of bread.

When you read all the ingredients that you can't even pronounce it really makes you not want to eat that bread again.

Maybe, just maybe, I need to start baking all of our bread.

I don't put diglycerides or ethoxylated things in it.

Do you know what that means?

I don't know what that means.

I read somewhere that if you can't pronounce the ingredients and have no clue what they are, you really shouldn't be eating that product.

But, at the end it tells you the bread contains wheat and soy.

Duh.
Those two ingredients are clearly listed and easy to read and pronounce.

No mention of the stuff I don't understand.

That is most likely on purpose.

They don't want you to know what you are putting in your body.

They just tell you breads are good for you and that's all you really need to know.

I am somewhat curious about what these things are, but once again not sure how much I really do want to know.

After all, I have been ingesting this bread or ones similar for many years.

It's probably something that will do us all in.

Shhhh, don't eat the bread, it has funny sounding stuff in it.

Plus, have you ever smelled it?
Sometimes it has a smell to it I don't like.
Might be the vinegar.

Why put vinegar in bread?
Who knows?

But, I always love the smell of freshly baked bread.
No vinegar smell.

Monday, September 6, 2010

Choices, People!

We have choices to make.
Big choices.

Chunky or smooth?
Wavy or flat?
Baked or fried?
Do I really want fries with that?

It is the world we live in.

It ain't simple, but it's what we got.

Everything in life is a choice.

From the time we wake up...

...to the time we go to sleep.

These are the types of choices I love making.

What should I bake for snacks?
That is a great choice to make.

Forget the HUGE decisions like who should be governor this fall.

That is so not a fun choice.
I rather like- spaghetti or chicken enchiladas for supper?

That isn't to say I don't vote.
Cause I do.
It just isn't fun.

And life should be fun.
At least sometimes.
Don't you think?

It shouldn't be all about working to give money to companies for services and government for services.
It shouldn't be all about saving for the future and our children's education.

There has to be some fun in there or what is the whole point of even doing any of it.

So, pancakes or oatmeal may seem like a small choice to make.

But, to me
It's big

You know why?

Cause it is all my choice.

It is my world and I get to decide and I get to be happy with my decision.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Sayings, Cute Or Corny?

Do you have some old sayings stuck up in your brain that your parents or grandparents used to say?

I do.
I have some doozies.

Not sure if they fit either cute or corny...
OK, maybe more corny,
but they make me laugh for some strange reason.

Maybe cause they are a bit goofy.

I thought I'd share a few with you.

Here goes.

God didn't dam it the beavers did.

That comes from my mom.
Now where she got it, I will never know.
But, that is why one should not say Goddamn it.
Cause He didn't.
The beavers did.
See the logic there?

I do find it strangely hilarious.

Another gem is about the walk/don't walk lights and crosswalks.
My grandpa used to say this when the little man turned green or the walk was on.

Don't walk and run like hell.

When I was little this always confused me.
It says walk, not don't walk.
But, my mom always said he was right cause the walk sign always seemed to switch to don't walk when you're in the middle of the street.

After all these years, it is a fond reminder of Grandpa, no matter how goofy I still think it sounds.

As a small child, we tend to get pouty lips when we are mad.
Heard this one a million times.
My dad's words of wisdom.

If you keep stickin' your lip out like that a bird is going to come poop on it.

Come on!
The odds of a bird pooping on your lip is pretty slim.
So, that has to make cornball category.

She'll get glad in the same pants she got mad in.

Another of Mom's.
True.
Children don't seem to hold grudges for days. Most likely, they will quit being mad while they are wearing the same clothes.

There are others, but these are the ones I remember hearing most often.

Some old sayings are so corny, that you can't help remembering them.
I am glad I can remember them.

Ya never know, I may just have to pass a couple of them down myself.

Friday, September 3, 2010

Cashier Lady, Aren't You Forgetting Something?

I really don't know why I always have to be the one that gets the cashier that charges me double or forgets to put my stuff in the bag.

It's not like I can just run across the street and get it.

I live in the country next to a tiny little town in Iowa so when the cashier leaves my roast laying on the counter at Fareway, that means I have to turn around and drive at least a half hour back to pick it up.

That really happened

I get home and start putting everything away and I realize I didn't see my roast.
So, I call the store.

OK, they will hold it to when I can come get it.

So, my husband drives back to get it and turns out the cashier lady had never even noticed it laying there.
It was still there when I called and the man just went up and took it back to the meat counter.

How could you not notice that sitting there for a half hour?

And when Honeyman goes in and gets it, he gets all these apologies.
EXCEPT
from the lady that didn't give us the roast we paid for.

Another time, I had gotten charged twice for one item.
I think that was in same store, different cashier though.

I didn't complain too much about that one because I had gotten free chicken another time.
It was on the bottom part of the cart and we assumed she scanned it or keyed it in so never even noticed til way, way later.

So, I am thinking the chicken and pop double charge pretty much cancels each other out.

But, now there is the roast incident.

And just yesterday we went to Walmart and I bought my daughter some eyeliner.
It got scanned, but it didn't come home with us.
It was $1 so a bit far to drive to Ankeny to get it. That is about 50 miles from my house.

I seem to have this problem.
I buy things but it doesn't come home.

Even years ago this happened.
Way before the free chicken.
So, it isn't karma biting me in the ass.

Probably 20 years ago, I bought a cake from the bakery in a grocery store and I get home and it's not with me.
My sister told me the person behind me probably got it in her bag.
How lovely!
Happy birthday, Lady that I do not know.

Another time, I bought envelopes and same thing.
No show.

Is there something wrong with me?
Does life want to screw with me?
Or do I just end up with a lot of stupid cashiers?

Maybe they just don't get paid enough to care if people get their stuff.
Well, you can't put a price on...

...yeah, I guess you can.

It's called a receipt.

Letters, Words? Hmmm, I Think I'll Do Both

Yes, it is time for me to break out another one of my seemingly, endless pet peeves.

You know when people say ATM machine?
They shouldn't do that.

Ya know why?

ATM stands for
Automated
Teller
Machine

So, when you say ATM machine, you are in fact saying automated teller machine machine.
Like WTH?
See, I didn't say WTH hell.
Cause that would just sound stupid.

If you are going to use letter abbreviations, you just don't use a word in the letter abbreviation after it.

It sounds like you don't know what you are talking about.

Like, in my daughter's school, all the kids say ITBS tests.
ITBS stands for
Iowa
Tests
of
Basic
Skills

So why say tests after?

Apparently, the teachers in her elementary all say it.

That really makes me worry about the public school system.

OK, that is not the only thing that makes me worry about it.
It is just one of many.

But, teaching students redundancy and idiocy ranks right up there.

I understand no one is perfect but, shouldn't you know what you are saying when you say it?

I mean, who repeats the last word of every sentence they say?

If I did that, people might think I had some sort of medical condition.
Or at the very least...

...odd.

Don't you think think?

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

United We Stand, Divided We Fall

I am wondering whatever happened to that.

Now it seems to be
Either you are with us or you are against us.

We are not just Americans.
We are democrat or republican.
We are liberal or conservative.
We are Christians or we're going to hell.

I, for one, am sick of it.

Everyone just picks and picks and picks.
It drives me nuts.
No party is perfect.
No religion is perfect.

Nothing EVER gets done because no one wants to meet at some sort of common ground.
It is either their way or the highway.

You have a right to your opinion and I have a right to mine.
Arguing and bad mouthing is not going to get anything accomplished.

I really hate listening to any of these political commentators.
Doesn't matter who.
They all spin things to make them sound like a different viewpoint is evil.

You have to go look it up to separate bullshit from fact.

And many religions are the same.
The different religions all look at theirs as the one true religion and all people need to believe in that one and not others.

Religion is a belief.
Pure and simple.
It is the belief in a higher power.
It's in the dictionary.

Catholic, Jewish, Pagan, or Muslim.
It doesn't matter.
It is still believing in a higher power.

And no one can say they are 100% right, because they haven't died to meet their maker yet.

I don't know when it happened, or if I just notice more.
I don't know why.
But, people just seem less tolerant of each others beliefs.

Maybe it is just how our country is.

We finally look on other races as good enough to eat and drink in the same room with us so we need to find other things to divide everyone up.

I think that is pretty God Damn pathetic, but I guess it's the American way.