Sex, Drugs and Food?

I am really baffled by the names of foods that people are putting out there.

I guess maybe it all started with the mixed drinks.
Sex on the beach, slippery nipple, that kind of thing.

Which I really don't understand.

How does a sex on the beach taste like having sex on the beach.
It's not like all gritty and smells of seaweed and seawater.
Oh and dead fish and seagull poop.

And there is the slippery nipple, which is made a few different ways.
Can someone enlighten me?

It has somehow evolved calling something Better than sex cake.
Which leads one to wonder how can you really compare the two.
And what do you say if someone asks if it really is?
Does that say the cake is THAT good or your sex life is that BAD?

Now, I have been seeing this recipe for Crack potatoes.
Which, I just don't think sounds all that great to begin with.
But, if one has never done crack, how does one know?
Cause if you say that it is as addictive as crack, would that make you seem like a druggie?
I have a friend that sells potatoes.
I guess that would make her a dealer or a potato pusher.

Yesterday, I read an article about oreos being as addictive as cocaine.
Seeing as how I have never done cocaine, I will have to take their word for it.
I do know that when I quit wheat and I went to a friend's house and oreos were taken out of the cupboard, I took big sniffs. They smelled AMAZING. But, I fought the urge.
I read a bunch of comments from people about how oreos would not cause you to steal your grandma's TV like a cocaine addiction would. But, that is faulty reasoning. I am pretty sure John Belushi never stole his grandma's TV.

My Fun Filled Errand Day

Nothing is more exciting than Thursdays in my world.
The day of the week when anything and everything has to get done.

Doctors appointments.
Grocery shopping.
Oil changes.

You name it.
It's a job for Thursday.

So, last week it started out simple enough.
Honeyman and I decided to head to Bears in Ankeny for lunch.

Bears is a restaurant that has been around for ever.
We went there when we lived in Ankeny.
In fact, it was our first night out after Kiddo was born.

She was 5 months.

But, we heard it was closing Saturday so this was our last chance to eat there before they were lost to us forever.
But, they were so packed we couldn't get in.

So, we headed to Des Moines so we could hit Costco.

But, first we needed gas and I had to pee.

So, we stopped at a Kum & Go.
Affectionately known to some as ejaculate & evacuate
and to others it is just a gas station/c-store.

So, I went in to do my thing.
Another lady was in the other stall.

All of a sudden I hear this beep, beep, beep like a truck or something is backing up outside or something.
Next thing I know, this lady answers her cell phone.

I know, you are thinking just like that commercial with that guy at the urinal holding his phone.
Well, sort of.
She didn't drop the phone.
But, I am thinking- Really?

I can hear part of the conversation and the lady proceeds to tell the caller she is in Kum & Go going to the bathroom.
Then the caller must have asked if she should call back and the lady says "no, that's OK".

Why would you even answer the phone, when you're on the toilet?

So, anyway Honeyman and I decided to go to Fuddruckers.
He had never been and I had only been 20 years ago.
Plus, I had a coupon!

So, we ordered.

I got an ostrich burger.
Yes, Laura, ostrich is dry. I should have listened.

Honeyman got a buffalo burger with mushrooms and swiss cheese.

We ordered and got these funky coasters that light up when the order is ready to be picked up.

And guess what.

My burger had swiss cheese.
And his burger had mushrooms.

Lovely.

We ate them, just because I didn't want them to throw the food out.
That would have been a waste.
And I hate to waste food.

If it was nasty or undercooked, I would have complained.
But, it was cooked so we just let it go.
Plus, we didn't want to wait another 20 minutes to get our food.

The food was OK.
Nothing to write home about.

After that, to Costco to overspend.
I do that a lot.
But, we did need the groceries.