Tuesday, June 27, 2017

Sometimes I Don't Want to be Grateful

We love in the grateful age.

Be grateful for truckers and farmers.
Be grateful it wasn't worse.
Be grateful for what you have.

There's the gratitude journal.
Come up with five things a day that you are grateful for.
It doesn't matter how small.
It is supposed to make you realize what you do have.

Sometimes I don't feel grateful.
Sometimes I feel sad or pissed about how everything is going,

Yes, I have a house.
It has bad wiring, a crumbling foundation, a roof that is in horribly sad shape among many other things and I can't afford to fix any of it.
Am I always grateful that I have a place to live?
Yes. And no.

My husband has an incurable disease and he will die from it and the treatment they have him on does not seem to be working.
I could be grateful that he didn't die this morning.
But, I am not.
I don't know how to turn this situation into something to be grateful for.

I think it is fine to not be grateful all the time.
Life sucks. Sometimes it sucks a whole lot.

It's like in "The Facts of Life" theme song.
You take the good, you take the bad, you take 'em both and what do ya have? The facts of life.

It is good to be positive.
But, when things are shit, they are shit.

When your health is bad, it is okay to hate it.
I have heard from many people that they should be grateful that it isn't worse.

Feelings are feelings.
They aren't good or bad.
They just are what they are.

Monday, May 15, 2017

Life Goes On

It's May and things are moving right along.
Sis is moving from one rehab facility to another at the end of this month.

I am getting MORE chickens. A guy who works with Honeyman has chickens pooping on his pool cover so he doesn't want them anymore.
I have no idea what kind. Apparently, there are six. Though, I am not sure. At first, it was four or five and now it is six. But, they are all hens and still lay eggs.

I am down to eight dozen chicken eggs in my fridge right now and about a dozen duck eggs.
So, I definitely need more layers.
No, wait.
I just checked and I have nine plus the partial dozen that I have been using.

I am working on my garden. My lettuce was starting to come up and now it is gone.
Darn bunnies! Or squirrels. Or whatever.

I have learned that Jimmy Johns uses a wee bit much lettuce when making their unwich.
It's a lettuce wrap sandwich.
Any sandwich can be made into an unwich. But, you really, really need to like lettuce or get a sandwich with lots of stuff to combat all the lettuciness.

I did survive Mother's Day at my mother's house. Her moods are unpredictable so I didn't know how things would go.
Stopped on the way home to visit Sis at rehab.
I made and took her some apple crisp, which she loved. She will not eat much. Apparently, the food is bad. She needs to eat to get better and I told her so. But, that does not appear to sway her.
But, she can have food brought in if it meets her diet.
The best part of yesterday was her thanking me. I asked her for what and she answered "Everything."

Friday, April 28, 2017

Crazy Days

Today, I am taking a lazy day.

The last couple of months have been mentally draining.

Honeyman got his diagnosis of IgA nephropathy. The antibodies that fight infection are causing problems with his kidneys. That is an autoimmune kidney disease and that in turn caused his failing kidneys. Right now, they are attempting to slow how fast they crap out.

Been taking several trips to see my sister. She will, hopefully, be headed to rehab shortly.

I started a fundraiser on youcaring.com to help with medical expenses.

This was taken this past Sunday and she is looking a lot better than she was.

This is my big sister, Sheila.

A couple days ago, I spent the day making noodles, mac and cheese, bread, and cookies to take to my brother-in-law and my nephew. It's nice to not have to worry about fixing a meal sometimes.
My daughter and I drove out and delivered it yesterday.

Sheila is the sister I have written about before. She has her own jewelry making business.
She has a published a short story and just finished the first draft on a full-length paranormal romance novel.
The couple days before her stroke, she had started working on edits.

This is all the stuff I have been doing.
I decided to take the day and no do a whole lot.
I have done a fair share of lounging around.

Sometimes you just gotta do that.