Sunday, April 9, 2017

MIA For Good Reason

I had been struggling to fins my happy for quite awhile.
I didn't really want to post doom and gloom so I quit posting so much.

Just over a month ago, it was determined that my husband needed to finally see a specialist because of his lowering kidney function.
OK, we will deal with that.

A couple weeks later, I get a phone call.
My niece tells me that the doctors think my sister had a stroke and she had coded at the hospital.

This was March 15th~ the ides of March, which my sister always mentions on that day.

It was a subarachnoid hemorrhage, which is a rare type of stroke.
She has been in the SNICU since.

Make progress and step back, repeat.

Amidst this, my husband had his nephrologist appointment and was scheduled for an ultrasound and told that if that showed nothing, he would need a biopsy.
He went down and had to give a bunch of blood and urine samples.
Fast forward to next morning and the doctor calls and tells me he needs a biopsy right away cause he is passing a lot of blood.
He had the biopsy just a few days later.

We are still waiting on the results for the ultrasound and biopsy.

Things have been crazy lately so I have not written anything or barely even read anything blog related.

Twitter and Facebook are weird places to be without my sister around.

She is making progress. But, it is going to take a very long time and in the end she still won't be the same.
And I know, it could have been worse and I should be grateful for that. My husband has told me that several times.
Of course, he has never gone to see her so he didn't know how bad she looked for a while and I feel that I shouldn't have to be super positive either.
I am happy that she is making progress. But, it isn't easy to see her that way either.

Between that and Honeyman's kidney problems, I am just pretty emotionally spent. Makes it hard to be happy about a lot.

Tuesday, January 17, 2017

So, I Guess I am a Spoonie

That's what we are known as these days.
People with invisible, chronic, pain illnesses are either calling themselves warriors or spoonies or both.

As people with these conditions, we are all tethered together.
We understand what others do not.

Except... I really don't get the spoonie thing.

You can read about The Spoon Theory to get more of an idea of what it is. But, in a nut shell, it is a theory that every day someone with a chronic illness has so many spoons they can use and when the spoons have been used up, you are done for the day.

What I find confusing is that people are now saying you use up so many spoons for this and so many for that.
Also, you might get up Monday with six spoons and Tuesday you have twelve. Wednesday, you might only have three.
And some people use up all their spoons for that day and borrow from the next day.
And there is the whole thinking you have plenty of spoons for the day and BAM! they are gone. Spoons went away for no reason.

Everybody talks about spoons. I cannot be the ONLY  person not getting the spoonie thing.
I am not even sure the lady that wrote the theory meant for it to get blown up so big.
It was a simple analogy and now people are spoonies.

It is supposed to be about knowing your limits and choosing wisely.
But, how do you know from day to day?
And, sometimes, hour to hour?

I guess when I am out of spoons, you can just stick me with a fork cause I am done.