Thursday, April 30, 2015

Z Marks the Spot

No, I know what I mean.
In my X post, I determined that the majority of X words sounds like they should start with Z.

Following this logic Z, and not X, marks the spot.
And the Z is where is all comes to a conclusion.

I got to the half-way point and thought the alphabet was so long.
But, I went on and I could see the Z was in my sights,

Now, I have reached
the pinnacle
the end
the climax.

Now, it is time to pat myself on the back and congratulate everyone else for reaching Z.

And in celebration, I am going to go plant my potatoes

Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Yes I Am

Yes, I am actually writing and scheduling this post ahead because my husband has a "procedure" on Y day.
I have had trouble so let's hope this works.

Yes, I am the type of person that has strange funny things running through my head when seeing or hearing serious news stories.
Did you know that Timmy fell down the well? Timmy was a dog and no Lassie was involved.
But, yes my mind went there.
The dog is fine and rescued by firemen.

It gets worse.
Yes, I am keeping that to myself.

Yes, I blame my husband for this.

Yes, I am very aware you might think I have a warped mind.

Yes, I am the proud owner of  the George Carlin collection of HBO stand-up specials.

Yes, I am the brains of my operation.
Yes, I am totally serious.
Yes, you can ask the hubs.

Yes, I do love Cary Grant movies.

Yes, I am a fan of the band Yes.

And, yes, this is a scene from a movie I love.

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

But it Sounds Like a Z

I have thought long and hard about my X word.

In the past, I have done Xanadu and X-ray and I don't remember what else.

Xenu came into my head, but everyone knows Xenu is a guy floating around the sky that Tom Cruise prays to.

My next option was to get out my dictionary and look for X words.
Xenophobe was good.

That's a person that is afraid of strangers- which pretty much describes every kid in the free world.

But, then I realized something...

Most X words seem like they should start with Z.
Unless it is like X-ray, it has a Z sound.

Except for Xmas, cause the X is really the Greek letter meaning Christ.

Xerox, xylophone, and so on and so forth.

So, in conclusion, I really have no X word for today.
Pretty much a bunch of mumbo-jumbo.

And I'm OK with that.

Monday, April 27, 2015

It's a Weighty Issue

There are two types of people in this world.

The ones that don't care one bit about what they weigh and the ones that do.
Some of those people pretend they don't but really they do.

I am one of those people that cares.
Because I could stand to GAIN a few pounds.

Normally you hear about the people that bitch and moan about how hard it is to LOSE weight and how they hate people that can drop weight so easily.
And God forbid, I mention that I can't gain.
"You're so lucky".

Cause, it's nice having hip bones stick out.

I can eat whatever and don't gain.

I can eat all the 1-2-3-4 peanut butter cookies or flourless peanut butter chocolate chip cookies I want, but that does nothing.

Several years ago, I was a little on the heavy side.
So, I started to lose weight.

And I did.
I got to where I wanted and I thought it was all good.

I got all healthy and eating the right foods.
Figured that more money in good food, less in getting sick and doctor bills.

But, I lost some more and I am going to bitch and moan about that.

It's not easy trying to lose, but the same is true if you need to gain.

We are all different.
For some people, it is as simple as calories in/calories out.
For others, it is the type of food you eat.
Some people need more carbs and some people less.

I can keep my weight steady by eating more carbs. The tricky part is getting enough to gain what I need without eating stuff I shouldn't.

Saturday, April 25, 2015

And It Vanished

It was the case of the vanishing brain power,

She could no longer recall the word she wanted.
It was there.
And POOF, it vanished.

Only to be remembered five minutes later.

She called her cat, her dead cat's name.
She forgot that cat died.

Where were all these brain farts coming from?

She forgot that she did U yesterday and did another U word today.
That post has now since vanished.

Was it brain fog from the fibro that her doctor thinks she has?
Or did her brain just take a small vacation without telling her?

However, it is just crazy.
Her mind seems very lazy.

Very mysterious indeed.

Friday, April 24, 2015

Under the Weather

Let's stop and think about this for a minute.

What does UNDER the weather really mean?

Sure, it is supposed to mean that you are not feeling so hot.
You are sick.

But, aren't all of us always under the weather?
The weather is above us all and falls to the earth.

Sun and clouds are above us.
Rain and snow comes from above.

So, we are all UNDER the weather.
All the time.

Unless, we are in an airplane flying above the clouds and storms.
Or, in a spaceship in another galaxy.

At that point, we would be above the weather.

Thursday, April 23, 2015

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Sleepy Time

I like sleep.
Sleep is great.

Unfortunately, it also seems to be an illusive bugger.

Naps don't work.
By the time my brain decides to allow for sleepy time
it is time to get up.

Power nap?
Nap for 15 to 20 minutes.
What is this?

My husband does this really miraculous thing.
He lays down and lets his mind go blank and is out.
Right away.

If he is awake for 15 minutes, he calls that having trouble.
I call that quickly going to sleep.

Nights are spent laying trying to get to sleep.
Do I just get up?
But, I am tired.
If I get up and stay up, it takes me that much longer to get to sleep.

I finally get to sleep.
Then I wake up to pee.
Next comes the alarm.

Two hours later I just want to go back to sleep.
Cause I didn't want to wake up in the first place.

But, I can't go back to sleep because I have things to do
Or, I can't relax enough to fall asleep.

Yet, I can take a bath and fall asleep.
Is that a bad thing?
As long as I don't slide into the water.

Ahhh, sleep.

Tuesday, April 21, 2015


You know those people?
The ones that say "really" all the time.
Maybe you are one.

I truly hope not.
Cause it is "really" annoying.

After everything you say they say "Really?"
It's like they got nothin' else.

No, People, I just made it up.
I really, really felt like making up the fact that blind people are being given gun permits in Iowa.

But, if I were to answer " No, not really" in response to the "Really?" I get a very confused look.
Yes, this really has happened.

"Really?" in response to anything someone says to you is along the same vein as yes or no.
After that, the conversation just has nowhere to go.

Really, it is just dead in the water.

And I really, really, really, truly mean it.

Monday, April 20, 2015

Quite Possibly

I really don't know where I am going with this or what I am going to write.

Q has always been a toughy for me.
Quite possibly, the toughest.

Why not X?
I don't know.

Where does the word quite come from?
It means completely OR actually OR to a considerable extent.
It is Middle English.

Is there a High English or Low English?
I've never heard of either.
Does anyone know?


Possibly means it could happen.

So, quite possibly means it could happen completely or to a considerable extent.
That's kinda broad isn't it?

Quite possibly.

This is quite possibly the most interesting thing I have heard.
Am I intrigued?
Maybe not.

You be the judge.

Saturday, April 18, 2015

I Like Pockets

I hate pants with no pockets.

It's even doubly bad when they stitch the pants to make it look like pockets.
But, no pockets.

What kind of sorry crap is that?

Don't try and trick me with "it's a fashion statement".
You want me to pay for less material.

Why don't you take it a step further and make those pants stretchy?

Stretchy pants with no pockets.

I think they had those back in my mom's day.
They called them polyester stretch pants.

Most of those didn't have pockets either.

I deserve pockets.
I demand pockets!

Friday, April 17, 2015

Oat Flour Drop Biscuts

I promised a couple people that I would stick a recipe or two in this challenge.
These are pretty simple to make and they taste pretty good.

I love my biscuits and gravy so I had to come up with something.

If you are gluten free, make sure your oats( or oat flour) are certified as such.

Preheat your oven to 425 degrees Fahrenheit/218 Celsius.
You will get 8 to 9 biscuits. Maybe less, if you make them big.

If you are starting with oats, grind some up until fine in a food processor or blender. If you have a spice grinder, it works great. Grind about 1 cup of oats.


1 Cup oat flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/3 Cup milk
2 Tablespoons oil, butter, lard, or what type of fat you prefer
1 egg

Put the oat flour, salt, and baking powder in a bowl. Cut in the butter until crumbly. Stir in the egg and milk.
Drop the biscuits by tablespoon onto a baking sheet.

Bake for 12 to 15 minutes until they spring back when lightly touched

They do spread and really aren't made to be cut in half and spread with butter or jam. But, you can always turn them upside down and spread what you want on the bottom.

Thursday, April 16, 2015

What Makes It Newsworthy

I really don't like the news much these days.
Not that I don't think knowing what is going on isn't important.
It is.

But most news outlet pick and choose what they think is newsworthy.
They disregard what they don't think is important.

Aaron Hernandez killed someone and got convicted.
It made the news because he used to play football for a "great" football team.
And more mention of him then who got killed.

Vaccines- for or against that is up to you.
However, they go on and on about how everyone needs them and they prevent whatever.
No mention that not too long ago several NHL players came down with the mumps after receiving the MMR booster.

A few weeks ago my daughter was telling me about a story a kid wrote for Journalism.
It had to do with one of the Down's Syndrome kids. He started doing a thing on Tuesday mornings before school selling tea and coffee. He was interviewed and asked what he planned to do with the money he made. And he answered that he was going to get internet at home. That part got edited out because they didn't think that sounded good.
Shouldn't young people be made to understand that there are poor people or that not everything is a given for everyone?
I thought that was an important thing they just left out.
That was newsworthy.

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Just Call Me the Material Girl

It's turning into a completely digital world.

CDs, DVDs, books~
Who needs 'em?

That's who.

I don't need no stinkin' cloud.
Unless, you wanna count that one up high in the sky.

Did I have an ebook for sale?
Yes, I do.
But, it is also available in paperback.

Do, I ever download music?
Why, yes I do.
But, I do, because they are a bargain and I end up burning them to a CD.
But, if I don't get a discount, I just buy the CD.
This way, I get the pretty paperwork.

I just like to hold what I paid for.
I like knowing that if my power goes out, I can still read a book without worrying that the charge is gone.

I still use an actual phone book, address book, and dictionary.
I look in those before going online to find out.

My medical book from Merck gets more use then WebMD.

I still buy checks.
Sometimes it is just simpler than online pay.
And cheaper if the company charges $5 or $7 to pay online.

Technology has its place.
It's where I learned my uncle has cancer that, try as he might, he will never defeat.
It's where I learned to make friends continents away from me.

I have a spot for it, but that is it.

When I buy something, I want to hold it.
Simple as that.

It might not be the original meaning of materialistic, but in this digital age I think it fits.


Tuesday, April 14, 2015

I Feel Lacking

Sometimes, I just feel lazy.
But, that's not really it.

I just don't seem to get much accomplished.

Sure, sometimes I lack motivation.
But, sometimes I just lack the stamina to get it all done.

I lack the funds to pay someone to do things.
I lack the funds to get the parts to do it myself.

I lack new bath towels.

I lack a lot of things in my life.

I get depressed about it.
No lack of that in my life.

I start to realize what I don't lack.

I don't lack stupidity.
I don't lack empathy.
I don't lack in creativity.

I do not lack in the many ways of cooking hamburger and chicken.
Or pasta.

I do not lack in the art of pissing my mother off.
In fact, I think I can do that better then anyone.

So, yeah....
I feel lacking.

In a  "is the glass half empty or half full?" kind of way.

Saturday, April 11, 2015

Just Say No

My teen years were spent in the 1980s.
Leg warmers.
Big hair.
Hair bands.
And let us not forget the "Just say No" campaign.

The Just say No campaign was the brainchild of Nancy Reagan, First Lady of President Ronald Reagan.
It was with one goal- Get kids to say no to drugs.
Cause drugs are bad.

And if it happened to have the side effect of kids turning in neighbors or family for doing drugs, that was just peachy.
My mother said that part reminded her of the Nazis getting kids to turn people in.

People were getting raided for growing basil on their windowsill.
Drug task forces were known to destroy houses and possibly killing dogs all on a phone call.
Not even an "I'm sorry" if they were wrong.

A very big part of the campaign were the assemblies.
Former addicts went around to high schools telling their stories.

I can't tell you how many of those I sat through.

I even have a Just say No button somewhere..

Schools spent a good chunk of change bringing these speakers in.

In the end, did it change anything?
Most likely not.

Many of my friends that were so big on the Just say No stuff turned out to be the biggest drug users in the school.
Nothing like now.

When I was in high school, you couldn't just go to a party in your small town and find some pot or cocaine.
You had to go to the bigger towns. the ones that had stop lights.

Now, you can just walk up to the park and get stoned.

Friday, April 10, 2015

It's Not Heaven, It's Iowa

Yes, it's where I'm from.
Iowa~ the land of pig poo and corn fields.

Not to be confused with Idaho (you'd a what? ((That just makes me laugh)), which grows a ton of potatoes.
Some people also confuse Iowa with Ohio.
I do not have a clue why.

Maybe it's the whole, I'm a vowel, they're a vowel.
It's all good.

But, no one seems to get us confused with Indiana or Utah.
I may need to rethink the vowel thing.

My state was one of the first to introduce showing ID and signing in order to buy the good cough syrup.
You're welcome.

We also brought you Tom Vilsack- head of the USDA.
I'm sorry.

We have RAGBAI- Des Moines Register's Annual Great Bike Ride Across Iowa. If you want to ride 50-100 miles a day over most likely hilly terrain and some easy flat areas, this might be a trip for you. Did I mention it is in July, in the nice humid, sweltering heat that this great state is know for?

We were the 4th state to allow gay marriage. Not voted in, but the supreme court justices said outlawing it was discrimination. Big hoopla at first. Some people thought there would be a major surge of gay people getting married. Now, nobody really cares.

Cannibis oil is legal, but it cannot be manufactured here and you are not allowed to legally bring it from Colorado to Iowa because Nebraska will arrest your sorry ass.

Smoking is not allowing in any public buildings. Except  for casinos. Slot machines are not the same rush if you can't smoke.

Iowa has a nice long gardening season, if you are so inclined.

The cost of living isn't too bad. OK, it's not great but more affordable than many other states.

Can't forget first caucus in the nation status.
Politicians care. News stations care.
I don't think anybody else cares.
Except for when it's over all and the ads go away for awhile.

I hope you have enjoyed your little lesson on Iowa.

Thursday, April 9, 2015


Nobody said life was fair or that it was a walk in the park.
Nobody told me it be so hard either.

I never file claims with my car insurance.
I keep paying higher premiums and my car is getting older.

It's time for a raise at work.
That extra $20 a paycheck went to taxes and the health insurance premium raise was more then the raise in pay.

One of the goals of this blogfest is theoretically to gain followers.
I seem to have lost one.

Which really doesn't matter because half my followers never blog anymore anyway.
I wanted to use another "However".

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Gluten For Punishment

Yes, I am one of those people.
You know.
The Gluten Free People.

It all started simple enough.
I read that book " Wheat Belly ".
I decided to see if giving up wheat would help me feel better.

And it did.
At first.

I was asked if I was giving up gluten or just wheat.
I didn't realize that it was everywhere so I said I barely ate anything with gluten, but primarily just the wheat.

But, I'd eat rice krispies or milky way candy bars and I'd feel not so good.
They have barley malt for sweetener.

So, I thought maybe I was off on the wrong track.

And certain things I could not eat anymore cause they had wheat.
Good-bye cream condensed soup.

Then I drank beer and was sick for a couple weeks.
So, I said no more of that.

Read some lovely articles about how it was hybridized wheat and old school spelt, einkorn, or emmers was fine.
Even "Wheat Belly" doctor said they worked for him.

I stupidly bought some organic spelt to bake with.
Not my best idea in the world.

It was all in front of me.
I had problems for years.

So, off to the doctor I went.
I got a "considered celiac" diagnosis based on symptoms and family history.
That and an order not to eat gluten.
Yay, me!

When I want bread, this is what I get. $5-7 for that itty bitty loaf.
When normal people want some good white bread, this is what they get.

On my bad days, I get a little tired of people saying crap about "those gluten free people".
It's not a choice.
I didn't choose the gluten free life.
The gluten free life chose me.

I was going to stick a recipe or two in here, but this is getting longer than I planned so I will save that for another day.

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Fuzzy Wuzzy

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear.
Fuzzy Wuzzy has no hair.
Fuzzy Wuzzy was not so fuzzy.
Was he?

Now say that three times fast.

Who remembers that gem from their childhood?

Monday, April 6, 2015


Sometimes I feel like that empty vase on the shelf.
The flowers are gone and so is the water feeding the flowers.

I am the water, giving energy to the flowers.
Sometimes, the flowers suck up all the water and there is just nothing more and I have to find some more to add to the vase.

After a while, the water isn't enough and you have to get rid of the flowers.
The water is nasty so that has to go too.

Later I won't be empty.

But, not today.

Friday, April 3, 2015

I Like Cake

Isn't it great?
And so many kinds to choose from~
Apple Upside Down Cake
Boston Cream Pie(which is really a cake with filling)
Pound Cake
Brownie Peanut Butter Cheesecake
Banana Cake
Chocolate Chip Cake
Lemon Bundt Cake
Spice Cake
Oatmeal Cake

Chocolate Mayonnaise Cake

But, you know what?
I'd rather have pie.

Thursday, April 2, 2015

To Be B or Not To Be a B

Originally, the word bitch was meant to describe a female dog in heat.

It was also said as an insult to women.
At first, it was if the woman was naggy or rude or whatever others perceived as not going along with things good enough.

But, later, some women decided bitch was a good title.

They embraced their bitch.

Is bitch even a bad word anymore?
I think it depends who you ask.
My mother would say yes.
My daughter~ probably not.

Honeyman told me years ago that every woman had a bit of bitch in them.
Fair enough.
I am fairly certain every man has an ahole lurking in them somewhere.

We may not have ever seen it, but if we ask around, I am sure someone has.

Sometimes, you just gotta be that person.
Nice will not always get you where you need to go.
But being a bitch may.

Let that bitch free!

Wednesday, April 1, 2015


As you can see, my theme for this blogfest is absent.

I don't do themes.
And I was absent for the blog theme reveal day.
I didn't sign up at that point.

My posts will be absent of A is for, B is for, and so on and so forth.
I trust you to figure it out.

I have been absent from my blog a lot lately.
My mind has been absent and I couldn't think of anything to say.

Except, maybe, bitching about this or that.
But, after about day 5, I think you would become absent to my blog.

No one likes a whiner.

Have a great day!