Dave Sayer, You Can Come To My House

Really, I don't mind.
In fact, I'd love it.

I'd even make you cookies if you'd just bring me one of those great big checks.

What do I need to do to get you to come?

I enter online all the time.
I even buy some of your overpriced stuff from time to time.
I have never ordered magazines.

Is that it?
Do I need to get magazines that I will NEVER EVER read?

Maybe I need money to begin with.
I have happened to notice from all those commercials of winners that they all have nice homes.

No one lives in a piece of shit house like me,
or even a rundown trailer.

Ya know, the people that could ACTUALLY use the money.

I don't want to spend all the money.
Yes, I do want to improve my lifestyle.

Fix my piece of shit house or just pay it off and build a new one on the property.
Take a vacation that I can afford to take - you know lasts more than 3 days and more than 1 state over.
I'd like to send my child to the college of her choosing- one that doesn't involve coming out of school in debt to her eyeballs.

Is that so wrong?

I just want to buy a pair of jeans or shoes more than once every 3 or 4 years.
Before they get all holey.

All I can do is to just keep hoping you'll stop by with some big balloons and a congratulations.

I hope to see you soon with my PCH winnings!