Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Ten Things Tuesday- Memorable Commercials

TV commercials are a reality of life.
Sometimes-OK many times- it is an annoying reality of life.

But, than you have the ads that just stick with you.
We get bombarded with so many and most are forgettable.

But, some are funny or clever or just stay with me.
I am sure we all have them.

This Tuesday's Ten Things is Commercials that are Truly Memorable:

1. Willie Nelson in a commercial for H&R Block
  The premise was that Willie didn't pay taxes( can you imagine?) and in order to pay what he owed he had to do a shaving cream commercial. He screamed "My face is burning."
Best thing I ever saw Willie do. Willie sucks.

2. Oscar Meyer Wiener
  Who doesn't remember that song? Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Meyer Wiener. That is what I'd really like to be. Cause if I were an Oscar Meyer Wiener everyone would be in love with me.

3. The I'm in debt up to my eyeball commercial by Lending Tree

 Makes me laugh and very true in oh so many ways.

4. The Reese's two great tastes together commercials
  They had more than one and they all ran along the same lines. One person was carrying a chocolate bar, the other person is carrying a jar of peanut butter and they run into each other and the chocolate bar ends up in the jar of peanut butter and they realize peanut butter and chocolate really DO taste great together. I have been known to eat peanut butter from a spoon. But, who would carry around a jar of it? Those wacky 70s commercials.

5. The Snickers "I am Batman" commercial
  A football player gets hit pretty hard and somehow thinks he is Batman.
Years later and I still love it.

6. "Where's the beef" commercial
  I am sure we all remember this Wendy's commercial with the old lady that can't see squinting at all these burgers asking "Where's the beef?"
So many people loved these ads. My mom always hated them. Not sure why but "Where's the beef?" irritated the crap out of her.

7. Big Mac commercial from McDonald's
  When big macs started, the jingle of what was in one was everywhere. Everyone knew the song.
Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun.
Really, the special sauce tastes eerily similar to Thousand Island Dressing.

8. Mr. Dumass commercial from A&W
  During an interview this guy was doing his best to make a good impression and called the interviewer Mr. Dumb Ass.
The guy tells him " My name is Mr. Doomas". Funny stuff.

9. That fella's from New York City commercial for Pace Picante Sauce
Cowboys sitting  around a fire eating and laughing at one of the guys for not knowing what real picante sauce is supposed to taste like since he's from New York City and Pace comes from San Antonio.
Not my favorite, but I remember it.

10. Hefty garbage bag commercial.
   Lift a wimpy bag full of trash and the bag falls apart. But, if you lift a Hefty bag, you got it made.
Wimpy, Wimpy, Wimpy. Hefty, Hefty, Hefty.

By the way, if I ever have an occasion to reference Willie Nelson, there will always be a "Willie sucks" tacked on to the end.
He does suck and it is just fun to say.
Willie sucks.

Monday, July 25, 2011

Google is Bad for Your Brain

Or maybe it is good, depending on the people you ask.

Computers are rotting our brains.
Or making us less smart anyway.

Google can't take all the credit.
Bing, Ask, Yahoo, and any number of search engines can partake in the glory.

The glory of making people not as smart.

According to a survey or poll or something like that, people aren't remembering things because they can just run an internet search and find the answer.
So, they figure they don't need to remember the information.

The majority of people are more likely to remember where they found it than what the answer really is.

Because they can just look it up again.

Wouldn't it be easier to just remember what you read?
Apparently not.

I saw a story on the news last week about this and they asked this guy about his thoughts and he answered that it was so much better doing it that way so the brain doesn't get cluttered up with all kinds of information.

I feel so much better knowing we have this guy walking around.
And he is not alone.
That is really quite scary.
I always knew stupidity was winning the race, but come on.
Not wanting to clutter up your brain with information  is like saying " I really like being stupid".

I am proud to say that I am the total opposite.
I may not have a clue where I read or heard something.
But, I remember what it is.

I'm beating the odds.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

I Will... Lord Over You

I was given this award by Laurie over at Earth, Dragon, Healing.
So, thank you Laurie for deeming me worthy of being an Overlord.

I have never gotten an award where I had to do anything.
With the Shiny Turkey Award, you were supposed to tell a Thanksgiving story but I got it from someone after they read my Thanksgiving post.

Maybe since I am Overlord, I should just change the rules.
I could but I won't.

Using your status in life to be able to bypass rules is just so wrong.
It should really about what you do and not who you are.

I just came up with my first thing about changing the world. I need three.

Here goes.

1. It doesn't matter who you are related to, if you are a celebrity, or have money. You can't do whatever you want. It is not going to get you out of trouble.

2. Everyone will be given solar panels and/or wind mills so they can use their own renewable energy.

3. Fluoride should be taken out of the drinking water. If you aren't supposed to swallow toothpaste because of fluoride, why is it fine to have it in drinking water?

Now, comes to the next part.
I, as overlord, need to name ten bloggers I deem worthy of being a fellow overlord.

Since I am female shouldn't I be an overlady?

Kelly from The Six of Us

Mama Spaghetti from The Spaghetti Westerner

Mynx from Dribble

Al from Penwasser Place

Debbie from McCormick Madness

Cal from Calvin's Canadian Cave of Coolness

Smart Ass Sara from Welcome to Sara's Organized Chaos

Alex from The Life and Times of A. Nighbert

Yvonne from Perfection... More or Less

Kara from Scattered Joy

If you have not been introduced to some of these blogs, you should go check 'em out.
That's an order from your Overlady!

Ten Things Tuesday- Changing Words

Words and sayings are always changing.
Slang becomes main stream and it is new and different all the time.
Or maybe it was just called one thing and now another.

I have been known to ask my daughter if this or that is said now and I guess I am just sad and out of date and just not  "jiggy with it".

I thought up this idea for ten things Tuesday and it brings to mind one of my favorite comedians.
George Carlin- he was so funny and smart.

He did a bit about how words evolve over the years to sound gentler and therefore have lost a lot of meaning.
And it is all in the name of Political Correctness.

In ordinary speech some sayings have been dumbed down or shortened.
Some things, both.

So, in no particular order here is my list of Ten Word Changes from my younger days:

1. Pantsed or pants.
   Back in my day, you said you were going to depants someone. Not pants them. Don't you need the de in front of pants to mean pull down? I told Kiddo she was wrong when she said pantsed. Than, I saw it on TV and now I just look like I have no clue.

2. Time of the month.
  Maybe in the 80's we were a bit cruder. It was "on the rag". Not sure when that fell by the way side. When someone was bitchy, they must be on the rag. Just the way it was.

3. My bad.
   Whatever happened to "I am sorry", "excuse me", or even "I made a mistake"?
My bad just sounds like someone that needs to retake an English grammar course.

4. OMG.
    I get computer speak and texting. But, come on! Say "Oh my God" not the letters. I said Oh my God. You can too.

5. Hoodie.
   I still call them sweatshirts. Some have hoods, some don't. They are all sweatshirts.
Hoodie  just sounds so cute. I am NOT cute.

6. Sleepover.
   I never had a "sleepover". I spent the night at somebody's house or went to a slumber party. Sleepover encompasses all of that and it uses less syllables so it's a win-win for everyone.

7. Condoms.
   Do you remember when no one said condoms? We all laughed because it sounded a lot like condiment. Or we laughed at the word condiment cause it sounded like condom.
But, anyway we called them rubbers. I remember my Home Ec. teacher had a sex ed. section and we got to watch a film and the dude sang the song "If you want to play it safe, wear a rubber".
Now, that's entertainment.

8. Cicada.
   Nobody used to say cicada. Well, maybe scientists that I didn't know. They were locusts. Even the news called them locusts. To me, they are still a locust.
Call them what you will. I call them annoying when they all start in with their own particular brand of music. I just hate that sound.

9. Music player. Or Ipod or Mp3 player.
    Ok there is nothing that quite comes close to the music players of my youth.
Double tape deck with a radio and some big ass speakers. Affectionately called the ghetto blaster unless you were upscale and then you said you had a boom box.

10. Hooked up.
    I am trying to determine how this one came to be. Hooked sounds similar to hooking and hooking used to involve a hooker. Or, maybe it is some sort of fishing analogy.
Anywhooo, we used to use the oh so clever she jumped his bones. Or he jumped her bones.

And I am sure 20 years from now, Kiddo will be hearing different words than what is being used now.


Monday, July 11, 2011

It was Just So Very, Very Hot!

I thought about saying there should be a law about this.
But, I am all about having the freedom to do what you want in your own house and so I can't.

If people want to be stupid, let them be stupid.

Though, if I were to enact such a law it would read:

If someone owns an air conditioner- window, central, whatever- and it is installed, it must be turned on and used when the temperature reaches over 90 degrees and the heat index is over 100 degrees.
No fines. Someone will just come in and turn the damn thing on.
Your punishment is cooler, less humid air and higher electric bills.

So sayeth the Ruth!

Yesterday, I went out to my parents house with my sister and Kiddo.
They will celebrate 48 years of matrimony this coming Thursday.
And we had a gift.
I even baked some bars that would fit into my older sister's diabetic diet. Sort of. Fairly low in carbs and used wheat flour. Golden-cinnamon pumpkin bars fit nicely.

So, we get out there and they have their window ac in and I am thinking-
AWESOME, I am not going to sweat to death.
Except they didn't have it on and the windows were open.

Can we all give a collective WHAT THE FUCK?
Are they waiting for hotter days?

Mom starts messing with the fan and Dad asks her if he should turn on the air and she says no.
The fan's fine.

Dad has emphysema and the air would make it easier to breathe.

They are no spring chickens.

Today there is a heat advisory til 7pm and I bet they don't have it on today either.

Kiddo ended up getting sick from getting overheated.

So, now I get to tell my mother if it is that hot either they turn the air on or we just aren't going to visit.
That's going to go over well.
She has the right to overheat, but that doesn't mean I want my child to.

Dad should have it on anyway.

But, hey, why help the lungs out?

What a fun Sunday!

Friday, July 8, 2011

Just How a Good Date Night Should Be

I don't get them too often, but even now and than I get a night out with Honeyman.

No Kiddo!

Of course, it really helped that we won tickets to the Funny Bone.
Who can't love FREE comedy?

We had reservations, but Honeyman didn't feel good.
So, I wasn't sure we'd go.

He was in a real pissy mood too and I wasn't sure I wanted to go with him.

But, he took a nap and off we went.

I had so much fun.
We laughed and laughed.

Cause that's what you do when you go to a comedy club.

We did get the same crappy waitress as last time.
Last time we had to pay gratuity for shitty service so we stayed under $30 so we could tip what we wanted. If she deserved it.
She did a better job. But, didn't bring us our receipt or change back. So, that was her tip.
No more for her!

We saw Steve Byrne and he was hilarious. The openers were funny too, but don't remember their names.

So, after the show, we did what any normal couple does at the end of the night.


We went to Walmart.

Tried to go in through the garden center and the damn doors were locked.
We could see people walking around in there.

Had to go through the main entrance.
Used the bathroom.
Holy shit, was it cold!
But, than I saw it.
Total picture worthiness!

                                   What crime may have been committed inside this stall?

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Ten Things Tuesdays- Why I am Staying 39 Forever

I had this conversation a few weeks ago with the mother of Honeyman's best friend.
It was his( the friend) 40th birthday and we were discussing how you just never really think that someday you are going to be your parent's age.
It's just out there and not really something that is ever gonna happen.
And I have decided that I am not turning 40.


Kiddo says I have to. That come October, I have no choice.
I do so.
I choose 39 part deux.

And this is my ten reasons that I am staying 39 forever.

1. At 40, I turn old.
  Kiddo says 40 is old. And I am not going to be old. I refuse!

2. No mammograms.
  I had my baseline at 35 and that was enough. No more! And I really love how the lady with the flattest chest in the world tells me it doesn't hurt. Well, of course it doesn't hurt HER. She has nothing to stick in that vice.

3. I don't want my body to fall apart.
  My mil keeps saying once you are 40 your body starts falling apart. Like taking meds and having surgeries. Maybe that's just her but I am not taking any chances.

4. I don't want bifocals.
  My optometrists says once I hit 40, I will soon be in them. That is the magic age for most people. Not me. Never turning 40. Ain't happening.

5.No body sag.
  So far exercise works for me in the butt area. But in the end gravity and age will win. So, I must prevent the age part.
Kiddo already tells me my boobs are longer than hers. They don't sag that much. I hope.

6. I never want grey hair.
  I know. Who does? I have two sisters older than me. One no grey. The other with plenty of it. It all depends which side of the family I would take after.
That is- if I turned 40. Which I am not doing.

7. No crow's feet for this chick.
 Or other wrinkles. I might not look 25 anymore, but I don't have wrinkles and I'd like to keep it that way.

8. Don't age spots come at 40 or somewhere around there?
Those lovely brown spots. I already have major permanent dishpan hands. I don't need age spots to go with them.

9. 40 means I am old enough to be a grandma.
And no. Don't tell me I am now. La La La- I can't hear you.

10. I don't want the weight shift.
   I heard a famous person one time say that when you reach your 40s you lose inches one place and gain it in the waist.
People, it was a famous person. So, of course that has to be what happens.
I don't want that to happen. I can't have that happen.

So, I'm staying put.
I must say that I do have much wisdom that comes with age.
But, that age will be ...

Forever 39.

Saturday, July 2, 2011