Don't Give Me A Maid

Why does everyone want a maid?

I am horrified at the thought of having a maid.

Not because I love cleaning. Because I don't.

I am, however, too paranoid to ever allow one in my house.

I couldn't afford a maid if I wanted one.
Even if I could, I wouldn't have one.

I just don't want someone in my house that doesn't live here.
I don't leave my friends sitting around here, what makes you think I want someone I DON'T know in here.

I couldn't relax.
The whole time, I would be wondering what they were doing while I wasn't there.
So, that means I would have to be in the house the WHOLE time the maid is there.
I would follow her around to see what she is doing.

Making sure things are left as they should be.
Has no one ever seen "Friends With Money" starring Jennifer Aniston?
Art imitates life, that's all I'm sayin'.

So, if I am going to spend the whole time obsessing over what the maid is doing or following her around, I may as well just do it all myself.
Don't you think so?