Sometimes, I swear, I just feel like throwin' in the towel.
When I daughter was growing up, I really worried about how good of a parent I was.
But, then a couple years ago, I started realizing I did a pretty good job.
She cares about people and has manners.
She is responsible.
She doesn't have the super great school grades her cousins do, but she has been improving.
But, she calls herself stupid and it breaks my heart.
She says she hears a little voice in the back of her head telling her she can't do it.
And I am just at a loss as what to do.
Honeyman and I tell her she is smart.
No, I think I am just going to have to start the " you are smart" campaign.
Just keep telling her until she believes it.
So, either I didn't do so hot after all.
Or it's just an insecurity thing that comes with all teenagers.
All teenagers seem to have a hangup about themselves and this one is apparently my daughter's.
When I tell her she's not stupid, it's like banging my head against the wall.
Perhaps Ruth, it is somebody at school, another kid, a teacher, some one else outside the home making her feel stupid....
ReplyDeleteThis is pretty typical of teenagers. Not only they are not sure of themselves but the also don't know how the fit in their every day life. I don't know exactly how old your daughter is, but you can try a couple of things.
ReplyDeleteThe most important things she should understand is that she's not alone in this. Her friends probably all feel the same way, even if they cover it up. So I would tell her that it's normal for her to hear that little voice. She has two choices, she can choose to believe what the voice says, but she would believe something without ant facts to back it back. or, she can choose not to believe it, and go ahead and prove the voice wrong. it would help, if you could point out some of the things she has achieved that reveal she's not a dummy. or, better yet, give her something to do (that you know she can handle), and then use that as proof.
Ok, that's kind of long. Hope it helps. Let me know how she does. :)
Her biggest problem is that she forgets a lot. But, when it's something she is excited about she remembers.
ReplyDeleteIt seems to really bother her that she forgets. She is 14 and she has been all through the kids being mean thing. We even had to take her to counseling.
I have tried to point out what she knows and it doesn't seem to matter.
I may have to try pointing out that other kids feel the same way.
It is probably going to take me a long time to convince her. I won't give up. But, once she's got something in her head it's almost impossible to get it out.