I have one very special 14 year old daughter.
I always refer to her as Kiddo.
Even back in my teens I figured I would only end up with one child.
I remember telling my mom that and also that if I didn't have a kid by age 30 I didn't want one.
I figured I would be too set in my ways to raise a kid.
Well I had one kid at age 25 and she is totally enough for me.
Not sure why, but some people think people should want kids- in the plural.
If a couple doesn't have any, some people think it's odd.
Those same people seem to think it is odd to stop at one.
When Kiddo was about a year, I was asked by another mother about having more.
I told her that I didn't want anymore.
So, she asked if I had bad labor.
No.
She just looked at me oddly.
It was as if she couldn't fathom me only wanting one.
When I got my tubes tied when Kiddo was 18 months, my mother-in-law tells me "it's OK, it's reversible".
My primary doctor asks me " What happens if your daughter died?"
So, maybe she dies and I can just have another kid and all better?
We went through tough times and when things got better a friend told us that now things were better we could have another kid.
Nope.
That ship has sailed.
Once when Kiddo was about 4 I thought it might be nice to have another baby.
But, I didn't really.
I am really glad in so many ways I stopped at one.
Kiddo has had so many health problems and I can't even imagine trying to take care of another one or two more or figuring out who can watch them because she had an EEG that day or surgery.
I just don't have the patience for more than one.
I did a good job with the one I got and I am happy.
My kid.
My Kiddo.
My one and only.
So many well-intentioned people say the stupidest things, don't they? I totally get that you only wanted one...I can think of many reasons why that would work well. I'll bet she feels quite special as a result. I am sorry to hear that she has health issues. I know the fear and heartache that can bring to a mother. This was a great post!
ReplyDeleteHave a great day. :)
Jamie, She's growing out of the worst problems, thank goodness. But there have been side things happen as a result of those health problems.
ReplyDeleteI know. I don't know what some people are thinking when they say what they do.
I have always wanted kids. And I love having 2 but because they are so close together I did not get to savor their infancy. I am so sorry your baby had health issues. They are so awful. The worst.
ReplyDeleteI can agree with this as I myself only had one. Well one pregnancy (I ended up with twins). I got my ex wife's tubes tied after the birth because neither of us wanted another set of twins.
ReplyDeleteAmber, because they are so close in age they well have a pretty tight bond. And that's a good thing.
ReplyDeleteOT, twins would be tough.
One is good. I have two (surprise!). I'm glad they will always have each other, and I love them both very much, but life would definately be easier and cheaper with only one. I'm so glad I found your blog. I'm stopping by from the A to Z challenge and I look forward to reading more from you.
ReplyDeleteThank you for stopping by Sylvia. That is the one thing I worried about with Kiddo. Her being lonely.But she likes not having to share so it works.
ReplyDeleteI used to be called "kiddo" by my Pa-Dukes. I always liked it. Sorry to hear about the health problems. Glad to hear she's growing out of them!
ReplyDeleteHey Ruth - As you know I am pregnant and we are only planning on having the one child, so many people have been asking so how many do you want? And they look so disappointed when I say just one. What is wrong with that? I will tell you: Nothing! There is also nothing wrong if a married couple wants to remain child-less. Its a choice. My husband is an only child and he says wasn't lonely, constantly busy with friends, neighbors, etc. I am just happy we were blessed to get pregnant in the first place and with no problems! People say the DUMBEST things - that is why I ignore them MOST of the time! :) :)
ReplyDeleteMatthew, I don't know if Kiddo likes being called Kiddo or not. She hasn't complained so she must not mind.
ReplyDeletejd, yes they do don't they.
Did you see the post I put up with the link about free baby stuff?
I didn't see that until now, but, I will check it out thanks so much!!
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