I Am Trying

Trying is my word for the day.
Because try as I might, I can't think of any other word to write about.

I am trying to be optimistic about the future.
Sometimes it works.
Sometimes it doesn't.

I am trying to get my resume written.
It is kinda hard when I can't remember employment dates.

I am trying to get my garden planted.
So far, the potatoes are in the ground.

I am trying to keep my house dusted.
But, it's a hundred year-old house in the country and two days after you dust, stuff is dusty again.

I am trying to think of more things to write.
But, I can't.

Have a good night.

The Informative Internet

You can learn so much from the internet.

You can earn thousands of dollars while you sleep.

You can learn why high fructose corn syrup is bad for you and WORSE than sugar.
You can learn why high fructose corn syrup is the SAME as eating granulated sugar.

You can learn that no matter what, everything is about politics and the Democraps and Republiturds are to blame.
You know the house that burned down last week?
Obama's fault.

You find out many politician seem to resemble a Munster.
From the TV show The Munsters.

Everybody has an awesome mother.
If you have no money, it's your fault.

You learn that SPAM isn't just for supper anymore.

You can learn that the tuft of hair on your duckling is called a crest making it a crested Pekin Duck.

You can learn that there are many bad spellers.

The internet is full of amazing things: Information, misinformation, funny stuff, smart people, and stupid people.

What would we do without it?

God... Like?

As some of you know, I am not religious.
I was raised Methodist and have a bible.

I am not sure where it is and when I last looked at it.
But, it is in the house.

As I got older, I questioned more and more things.
So, here I am.

I am a good person with good values and morality and I find great hilarity in the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

The Flying Spaghetti Monster, or FSM for short, is the center of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
It is fictional. However, I did read that the Netherlands recently recognized it as an actual church.

If you'd like to learn more about FSM click right here.

I really don't find it rude to anyone.
I think it kinda says that things should not be taken too seriously.
But, I know a lot of people take their religious beliefs very seriously.

I am not knocking it.
My own mother is deeply religious.

But, I am still gonna laugh at stuff like this :

 And this :

 And this one :

Friends or Merely Friendly

So many degrees and types of friendship out there.
Where to start.

You have the facebook friends that you really don't know, but you may have something in common.

You have your BFF(Best Friends Forever) or BFFs.

You have your friends that you kinda sorta know and hang out with on occasion, but you don't talk about the important stuff.

You have friends with benefits. And we're not talking insurance, though the after-effects can leave you feeling pretty good.

Some people have frenemies. You like each other, but not really. It's complicated.

There are the people married to their best friend and people that have best friends outside marriage.

Some people's best friends are their pets.

Friendship is just all over the psychological map.
Some people need a lot and some people don't.

And to all my blogging friends: This is where I leave you for I have no point to make.

That Epic Emu War

It was a big war.
I don't know why it never made the history books.

 A unit of former WWI Australian soldiers going up against twenty-thousand angry emus.

All the people wanted to do was farm, all the emus wanted was to eat and drink.

The evil emus were tearing up property so the army was called in complete with machine guns.

The troops were no match for the stealth emus and they had to admit defeat within a month.


Yes, this did happen in 1932 in Western Australia.

Bock Bock Cluck Cluck

Here are my hens coming up to the door to say hi.

 

The tan ones are Buff Orpingtons, the white with a little black ones are a Leghorn mix, and the red one is a Rhode Island Red.

This is the run of their coop. This was last summer before they scratched up all the grass.

These are the newest additions. Five Buff Orpingtons and five White Leghorns are in there. They are getting big enough to divide up into separate totes. They are about two weeks old now and already have wing and tail feathers.

We have all girls. Unless one of the babies was sexed wrong, we won't be having a rooster.

Girl chicks are called pullets and boy chicks are called cockerels.

Chickens are pretty easy to take care of. They do get to free range part of the day and they love it.

They make noise when laying eggs. It's the egg laying song.

It will be 16-24 weeks before the pullets start laying.

I also have baby ducks.

One might say they were a parting gift for buying all the chicks.

We think the yellow ones are Pekin and the brown/yellow are Rouen. They came from the assorted bin so that is what we are guessing for now.

They were given to my husband because they were getting picked on and they were not doing too good. If we didn't take them, they would be taken back to die and tossed in the garbage. 

Since he is a softy, he brought them home.

Bout Those Butts

I thought long and hard about what I wanted letter B to be.

Guess what?
Chicken butt!

Yes, I know.
Hysterical.

What is something we all have in common?
We all have butts.

Some people have big butts.
Some people have little butts.
And some people are just gigantic butts that walk around.

For the ladies and gentleman that like to look at men's butts being painted up like Easter eggs, come on over.

There seems to be an abundance of songs about butts.
Type in butt songs on youtube and you can find a butt songs playlist.

Now, for your listening and viewing pleasure:

Samwell- What What (In the butt)


Sir Mix A Lot- Baby Got Back


2 Live Crew- Too Much Booty in the Pants


Foxy Shazam- I Like It


Eddie Murphy- Boogie in Your Butt


Have a great Saturday!

Always with the Acronyms

Here I am again. I just kind of leaped into this without a plan.
I am good at that.

I thought my A post should be Ankylosing Spondylitis or A.S.
That is inflammatory arthritis that affects the back as well as hips, knees, heels, etc. And also can damage heart, eyes, and lungs and fusing of back and hips can occur.

But, as I am still in denial, I am writing on another topic.

The beloved ACRONYM.

They are everywhere.

Not so much when I was younger. The military has always liked acronyms, but the general population really didn't use many.

An acronym is a group of the letters that stand for something.

We had BFE- Bumfuck Egypt which means being in the middle of nowhere.
We also had FUBAR- Fucked up beyond all recognition.

The acronym has a life of it's own these days.
Known as geek speak, text talk, or internet slang.

I admit to searching for some of these.
Some I can figure out by context.
Does FTW mean for the win here or fuck the world?
Are you playing soccer or having a bad day?

Maybe if you are Monsanto fucking the world means you are winning?

I kept seeing AF. Had to look that one up.
The band AFI means A Fire Inside, I knew that.
As fuck, really?

Does it seem to you that a lot of these have F as a bad word?
WTF is going on here?
OMG, do you think that is why all the acronyms? So people can say naughty words without saying naughty words?

I just have no words.

To Be B or Not To Be a B

Originally, the word bitch was meant to describe a female dog in heat.

It was also said as an insult to women.
At first, it was if the woman was naggy or rude or whatever others perceived as not going along with things good enough.

But, later, some women decided bitch was a good title.
Being
In
Total
Control
Honey

They embraced their bitch.



Is bitch even a bad word anymore?
I think it depends who you ask.
My mother would say yes.
My daughter~ probably not.

Honeyman told me years ago that every woman had a bit of bitch in them.
Fair enough.
I am fairly certain every man has an ahole lurking in them somewhere.

We may not have ever seen it, but if we ask around, I am sure someone has.

Sometimes, you just gotta be that person.
Nice will not always get you where you need to go.
But being a bitch may.

Let that bitch free!

Absent

As you can see, my theme for this blogfest is absent.

I don't do themes.
And I was absent for the blog theme reveal day.
I didn't sign up at that point.

My posts will be absent of A is for, B is for, and so on and so forth.
I trust you to figure it out.

I have been absent from my blog a lot lately.
My mind has been absent and I couldn't think of anything to say.

Except, maybe, bitching about this or that.
But, after about day 5, I think you would become absent to my blog.


No one likes a whiner.


Have a great day!

Ten Things Tuesday- Zero Words

We say zero in different ways.
So, since we are at Z in the A-Z blogging challenge and it is a Tuesday I am going to list ten different ways of saying or using zero.

1. O
     I don't know if this is because the number 0 looks like an O or because O is the last letter in the word zero and it is a short way of saying it.
It's a quandary.

2. Zilch

3. Nada

4. Blast-off!
     When you count down to zero, you never just say zero. You just don't.  After one, comes blast-off.

5. Mute
     When you turn the sound down so far you can't hear it, the TV says mute.

6. Operator
     Remember when you could dial 0 and ask the time? They weren't fond of small children that did that repeatedly.

7. Time
     Military time is set on the 24 hour clock. O 8 hundred is 8:00 am . Zero Dark Thirty means really early in the morning.

8. None

9. Months or weeks
     Ever notice how you stay one year until your next birthday, but babies are never 0. They are hours, days, weeks, or months old. Unless you are filing taxes and than they can be 0.

10. Witching hour
     Apparently someone decided midnight or 0 hour was the time when the witches, demons, and ghosts come out to play. No one told my ghost that. She comes out to play whenever she feels like it.

****************************************
Have a great Tuesday!

YOLO

Where did YOLO come from?
One day I just starting seeing this YOLO business.

I had no clue what it meant.
I didn't even think to reference my handy dandy internet slang dictionary.

Finally, I saw it used on TV.
I had to ask my daughter.

You Only Live Once.

Well, duh!
We are not cats.
No do-overs!

Unless you are in "Cityslickers".
Than life is a do-over.
But, you just can't wait til you're dead.

But, since you only live once, you might as well go for it.

Either, I live under a rock or these geek speak phrases just take off really fast.
My daughter says that it's text speak, not geek speak.

Whatever.
I call it how I see it.
I figure I could call it worse things.

**************************************
Happy Y day!

Xena: Warrior Princess

This was a TV show that ran from 1995-2001. It starred Lucy Lawless as the bad ass Xena.
She was once known as the "murderer" and is now fighting for the greater good.
This show was a spin-off of the show Hercules.

Who remembers this show?
Did you watch?
Did you enjoy?

This show was on when I was busy moving around and than having a kid and getting married.
I maybe saw it once or twice.

My mother, on the other hand, lived for this show.
It was shown in the middle of the night so she set the VCR up to tape it.

If it got messed up due to a late running ball game, she got so upset.

I can still see her now
excited to watch this show.

Well, What Do You Know

It's a dairy product and it's made with milk!

Well, what do you know? Isn't it just amazing? I know I am shocked.

Feeling Vanquished

Vanquish- beat or overcome.
I feel like I have been the one vanquished.
Right now I am frustrated and I am at a complete loss as to do.

My daughter's school is going on a trip to London and Paris in 2014.
It is the trip that may only come around once for her.

The problem is paying for it.
If we had the money, than we'd decide if she should go.
She is so young, but she is not little anymore.

What to do?

They take payment plans.
But, they have to be paid up a month before the trip.
So, it's $3500 or $250/month.

It's not like there are a ton of jobs around here I could get to pay for it.

So, like any good parent that wants to do for her child and doesn't know what to do- I feel very vanquished.

Shouldn't parenthood get easier as the kids get older?

The Story of the Unity Candle

Do you remember when everyone had unity candles at their weddings?

Well, not me.
Cause I had a judge marry me and Honeyman in the judge's flower garden.
We wanted to do it at the courthouse.
But, the judge thought that was unromantic.
Translation- he wanted the fee he could charge for doing it away from the courthouse.

But, anywho- back to the unity candle.

For anyone that doesn't know about them, here is the rundown.
There are three candles, two tapers and one big unity candle.
The bride and groom lights a taper and uses them to go together and light the single unity candle.

Do you think it's a bad sign if the couple can't get the unity candle to light?

Maybe God was trying to tell them something.

I was at a wedding several years ago when just such an occurrence happened.
They got through the ceremony OK until they got to the lighting time.
Try and try they did.
It just wouldn't light.

Eventually the groom lit the thing with his lighter.

Maybe they figured that it was worth it since they had to work at it.

It wasn't.
Five years later they divorced.

I'm telling you it was a sign.

He is due to get married again this summer and they already printed the programs.
Why?
I have no clue.
But, all the programs got misprinted.

Another sign?
It could be.

It's a Trade-Off

Life is all about trade-offs.
Like the saying goes- No such thing as a free lunch.

It doesn't matter.
To get one thing, you give up something else.

Have your cake and eat it?
Wouldn't we all like that?

Oh, but you could say sugar substitutes are a way to do that.
Sure, if you want to trade calories for chemicals.

As much as we want to say that there is not always one,
there is a trade-off of something.

Work overtime for more pay
you lose time at home relaxing, being with family or friends.

Giving up certain foods
you feel better, but there is a lot you can't have.

My Snazzy Shoes

I have new shoes! Mine is the rainbow and black leopard spots. 

The orange ones belong to my husband. 

He always wanted orange Converse just like the ones Ace Frehley used to have.
I found some.

The other pair of snazzy shoes belong to a dear friend of ours.

I was way overdue for new shoes.
I decided I was tired of having plain, boring shoes.

I was on a mission.
It took a few stops and a few hours.
But, I found my snazzy shoes!

Just Quit

I wish that people would just quit.

Quit being offended at every little thing.
If you don't agree
agree to disagree or keep your mouth shut.

Quit asking for prayers.
When  I grew up, it was considered a no-no to ask for prayers.
But, now it seems to be OK.
I mean, fine- ask for prayers for someone else.
But, just quit on asking for prayers so you can get a job or you'll find a good sale.

Quit saying uh and um all the time.
Cause I REALLY, REALLY hate that.

Quit posting on Facebook that it is your time of the month.
Does TMI mean nothing to you?

Quit giving your babies entire cakes for their 1st birthday, thinking it's all cute.
Cause it's not.

I could go on and on.
But, I think I will just quit for now.

It Just Poured

And poured
and poured.

The thunder and lightening continued on and off all day.

The road is a muddy mess.
So, is the garden.

I'd take a picture, but I don't want to go out in this mess.

Roads are closed south of here because of all the rain.

Is the drought over?
It seems to be.

Honeyman says "You know why it finally rained so much?"
Yeah.
We hooked into rural water.

It is supposed to quit raining this morning.
But, than we might get a mix of rain and SNOW.
At the very least, plenty of sleet.

Yay!
Where is spring?

I know April showers and all that jazz, but I've got a garden to plant.
I've got to move that big hump of dirt in my front yard.

I have got to get out of the house.

I have spring fever
or cabin fever
or whatever the hell fever it is.

I am just ready for the skies to quit opening up and pouring all this rain/snow on me so I can get some stuff done.