I was lucky enough to come into a little bit of money recently and come to the conclusion that I was long overdue for new clothes.
My clothes are worn out.
They are fit to become the wardrobe of a scarecrow.
Well, if a scarecrow wore a "Pinky and the Brain" sweatshirt.
I have had that thing for over 20 years and I am having a hard time parting with it.
My jeans are all ratty and I have no nice clothes to speak of.
So, I went shopping.
OK I went to one store.
But, it was a clothing store.
I plan to do more extensive shopping another day.
Because, I couldn't find anything that fit me.
I have come to some realizations.
Fitting room mirrors are terribly MEAN.
I took my pants off to try on jeans and I was horrified by what I saw.
Is that really me? The chick with the cottage cheese attached to her thighs.
It just couldn't.
So, that was depressing.
I still don't get it.
I looked in my mirror at home and I don't look QUITE that bad.
Next up was the fact that most of the jean styles available are awful.
They either had a skinny leg or they had a horrible cheap looking wash and stitch.
And don't get me started on the fact that many of the pairs had worn or ripped spots.
If I wanted rips or worn spots, I'd just keep wearing the ones I already have.
I finally locate a pair of nice pants and jeans that don't look too bad.
They seem a little long.
But, I am hoping when I put them on they won't be so bad.
They fit good except way too long.
I would need stilts to wear them.
My niece tells me, as a society we are getting taller.
Where are these taller people?
I sure as hell have not encountered any large groups of tall woman with long legs wandering about.
The sweats were a different story though.
Those were too short.
I did find one thing.
It's a hoodie.
Not a total loss.