Monday, June 13, 2011

Ten Things Tuesday- Stupid Things Heard on the News

I can't help it. The news is just funny to me sometimes.

Not in a "a serial killer was caught with frozen bodies in his house today" kind of way.
But in a "OMG that just sounds so stupid" kind of way.

Sometimes it is a phrase.
Sometimes it is just something that makes you wonder where these people's brains are.
And how did these people get to where they are?

I could use Michelle Bachman saying John Wayne is from Waterloo. When in fact movie star John Wayne is from Winterset and John Wayne Gacy serial killer is from Waterloo.

But, no. Not goin' there. I am talking about from reporters or people talking to reporters that say stupid, stupid things.

This weeks Ten Things Tuesday is all about stupidity.

Stupid Things Heard on the News:

1." After the fourth breach in the levee, the US Army Corps of Engineers decided the levee was unstable."
  I wonder what gave them that idea. And why did it take FOUR breaches for that to be determined?

2. "The southeast half of the state"
  Also used northeast, northwest, and southwest half of the state
We had a meteorologist that always said that. There are 4 quarters of the state and that would be those mentioned above. They are not halves, they are quarters. So did that guy mean half of that quarter and if so which half cause he never said?
Just drove me nuts. Well he's gone now.

3. "A cow was destroyed but there were no fatalities."
  The head of EMS in southern Iowa said this is what happened during a storm. I don't know about you but I think a cow breathes. Therefore, it can die and dying is somewhat fatal.
Maybe she should have said there were no human fatalities.

4. "The town of hamburger."
    Reporter Lady, the name of the town is Hamburg not hamburger. One's a meat product, the other is a town. Know the difference.

5." Act of God? The tree near where Caylee Anthony's body was found got struck by lightning."
   What does this even mean? Why would God wait 3 years to strike down a tree? Oh wait, he was waiting to see if the mom was going to do the time. But, she isn't so instead of hitting her with lightning God is just going to knock down a tree. Sure, that makes sense.

6. "First, I thought somebody shot me."
   A bird flew in the driver's side window of a car and hit a dude's chest.
It's OK. Neither he nor the bird were hurt. But, it took a highway helper to notice he had feathers all over the inside of his car. Not a small bird, so you'd think you'd notice a bird fly in your driver's side window.

7. Hot enough to fry eggs on the sidewalk and I am going to try.
   I don't know how many reporters I have seen try this over the years. It never really cooks and is a waste of a good egg.

8. "The man put furniture out on the street and people are coming and just helping themselves to it."
   First of all, people put things out all the time when they don't want it. Why did the guy think that it was smart to do this? And why did the news people report on it like people were doing something completely unheard of?
His house was being foreclosed on so he just emptied his house onto his front lawn. Mind you, he was NOT in the process of moving.

9. The planet Uranus will now be pronounced urine us.
   This one is kinda old. I remember Tom Brokaw pronouncing it urine us.
Does changing  your anus  to  urine us  actually sound any better? I think not.

10. This really isn't so much something stupid that is said so much as a stupid graphic.
     On the weather when the forecast is shown and there is supposed to be rain, they never just show rain. Oh no. They will show nothing than a cloud and showers will appear. They disappear and comeback. If you don't stare at the graphic you might miss the shower/cloud thing and think it is going to be nice. So don't come in at the tail end of the weather. And once you do look, don't look away. Stare at it intently to make sure no rain appears.
All the other stations have a still picture and a % chance of rain. Might not be so snazzy, but it sure isn't stupid.

Ahh, stupidity at its finest.


  1. These cracked me up. Thanks for sharing.

  2. OT, Glad you enjoyed them.

  3. Okay, this was really funny. I know, TV people must leave their brain at the door before they start the day.

  4. Alex, thanks. Many times when you need a good laugh all you need to do is watch the news and there it is.

  5. I love #1 the best. It just kills me. They are all funny.

  6. Belle, it is just amazing that people say things like this and don't seem to think they sound really stupid.


Thanks for commenting.