Thursday, October 31, 2013

Sex, Drugs and Food?

I am really baffled by the names of foods that people are putting out there.

I guess maybe it all started with the mixed drinks.
Sex on the beach, slippery nipple, that kind of thing.

Which I really don't understand.

How does a sex on the beach taste like having sex on the beach.
It's not like all gritty and smells of seaweed and seawater.
Oh and dead fish and seagull poop.

And there is the slippery nipple, which is made a few different ways.
Can someone enlighten me?

It has somehow evolved calling something Better than sex cake.
Which leads one to wonder how can you really compare the two.
And what do you say if someone asks if it really is?
Does that say the cake is THAT good or your sex life is that BAD?

Now, I have been seeing this recipe for Crack potatoes.
Which, I just don't think sounds all that great to begin with.
But, if one has never done crack, how does one know?
Cause if you say that it is as addictive as crack, would that make you seem like a druggie?
I have a friend that sells potatoes.
I guess that would make her a dealer or a potato pusher.

Yesterday, I read an article about oreos being as addictive as cocaine.
Seeing as how I have never done cocaine, I will have to take their word for it.
I do know that when I quit wheat and I went to a friend's house and oreos were taken out of the cupboard, I took big sniffs. They smelled AMAZING. But, I fought the urge.
I read a bunch of comments from people about how oreos would not cause you to steal your grandma's TV like a cocaine addiction would. But, that is faulty reasoning. I am pretty sure John Belushi never stole his grandma's TV.

26 comments:

  1. A slippery nipple is made with sambucca and...kahlua...? It's good, although I really don't know why it's called that.
    Or you can spill oil down the front of your shirt.

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    1. Some versions are made with butterscotch schnapps instead of sambucca. I just don't get the correlation.

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  2. Speaking of Oreos being as addictive as cocaine....you smash a few of those suckers up and snort 'em.
    There ain't enough milk in the world.

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    Replies
    1. You know, I know someone that once snorted Nestle Quik and said he could taste it for weeks.
      Why did he do it? Cause he's not all that smart and his friends told him he'd get a great high.

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    2. We once snorted oysters. I don't know why.
      Oh yeah, now I remember.
      We were drunk.

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  3. Still love reading your posts! They bring a smile to my face! I made one of those Better than sex cakes for thanksgiving a few years ago and my little brother almost had an orgasm in the middle of my mom's kitchen! I promised never to make it again for a family function!

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  4. What about the Redheaded Slut? Will drinking one give you an STD and fill you with shame?

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    1. ABFTS, I had to look that one up. I live in simple little Iowa and I never heard of that. I do think it might fill me with shame.

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  5. Love your blog! Maybe we could follow each other on bloglovin or GFC? Please leave me a comment or follow me and I will follow you =)

    http://www.facebook.com/pages/Le-Petit-Plastique/473640259360447

    http://lepetitplastique.blogspot.com/

    *Nimli Giveaway Prize Package on my Blog*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You love my blog, but you won't follow me unless I follow you? We'll see.

      Delete
    2. Yeah, that kinda sounds like a "blogging reach-around", doesn't it?

      Delete
  6. We had "tropical itches" in Hawaii. They came with back scratchers. Probably doesn't count.

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    Replies
    1. Susie, I don't know. It might. For people with pelts are their backs, it might be quite the turn on.

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  7. There's the slow screw against a wall too. Never had one of those, in any form. I ordered a screaming orgasm a week or two ago, only because I wanted to say it. The two male bartenders looked at each other, kinda blushed, and told me "We don't do that here." So I'm in agreement with you. If you give a weird, sexual name to a drink, you should be able to follow through on a customer's order.

    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Robyn, I don't think I could get any of those drinks in town. Maybe if I went to Des Moines and probably in only some of the places, For God sakes, I can't even get a decent craft brew in town.

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    2. Well, everyone knows that Des Moines is of the devil. It's like Vegas.
      With corn.

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  8. If sex on the beach tastes of seaweed and seawater you've got your tongue in the wrong place. But crack potato sounds good. Was there ever a potato recipe that wasn't appetising?

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    Replies
    1. I thought "Crack" potatoes had some sort of proctological meaning. Soooo relieved to be set straight.
      Especially since I like potatoes.

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  9. I don't know Gorilla Bananas. If you'd spent any time on the beach or in the water, you'd have that on you.

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  10. haha you are so funny---i have wondered about that "better than sex cake"--i must admit ;)

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    1. Lynn, I have never had it. When my daughter had her Halloween party in journalism, someone was supposed to bring one. I think he forgot. But, SSW says they are great.

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  11. The funny part is that none of these names is offensive in today's world.

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  12. Apparently sex and drugs sell. I don't get it, either!

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    Replies
    1. Sherry, it's a strange world we live in.

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