I Was OK Til I Cried

I guess all the stress of past events have taken their toll on me.

Honeyman says I need to talk to somebody. I don't have a whole lot of somebodies, so this can be my therapy.

He suggested my sister because we went through the same thing this year with our older sister. But, she is busy. She works long hours and after that she watches her twin grandsons a lot.

Friday was good. The three of us went to the Foo Fighters concert and had a good time. Saturday started out good. I was fine. Honeyman and I watched a movie and Kiddo was at work.

Then... I lost it. My daughter made a comment to me online and I got so upset. I don't even know why. It made no sense. I could not explain it to anyone.

I did a lot of crying that night and I cried off and on yesterday. Today, I am a little better.

It is not all that my sister died. I honestly believe that it was meant to be. It is not easy, but that is the way it goes.

But, so much stuff happened leading up to it and I handled it. There was nothing else to be done.

I am great in a crisis. I do what needs to be done.
There  will be time to think about it later.

I guess that time is now.

The 15th of this month will mark 8 months since Sheila's stroke. She had a severe rare type of stroke called a subarachnoid hemorrhage.  It was caused by an aneurysm.

My niece called Kiddo at 4:30 am because she didn't have my number anymore. She thought she needed to call my parents and sister, but I told her that I could do it.

So, I called.

By 7:00 am, my other sister and I were getting ready to head to Iowa City, where Sheila had been life flighted.

The University of Iowa Hospitals and Clinics is massive so we had to make some phone calls to figure out where to go.

We were the first ones to arrive. We only had a couple hour drive and my brother-in-law had a four hour drive.

By the time we arrived, the drain lines were in to take the swelling off her brain. The front part of her hair had been shaved off.
She was unresponsive for the most part.
At this point, she would make a movement if she heard something that resonated with her or she'd grip a hand when asked to.

It was a long day. Another surgery was done to find the source of the hemorrhage.

This was only the beginning.