Sex, Drugs and Food?

I am really baffled by the names of foods that people are putting out there.

I guess maybe it all started with the mixed drinks.
Sex on the beach, slippery nipple, that kind of thing.

Which I really don't understand.

How does a sex on the beach taste like having sex on the beach.
It's not like all gritty and smells of seaweed and seawater.
Oh and dead fish and seagull poop.

And there is the slippery nipple, which is made a few different ways.
Can someone enlighten me?

It has somehow evolved calling something Better than sex cake.
Which leads one to wonder how can you really compare the two.
And what do you say if someone asks if it really is?
Does that say the cake is THAT good or your sex life is that BAD?

Now, I have been seeing this recipe for Crack potatoes.
Which, I just don't think sounds all that great to begin with.
But, if one has never done crack, how does one know?
Cause if you say that it is as addictive as crack, would that make you seem like a druggie?
I have a friend that sells potatoes.
I guess that would make her a dealer or a potato pusher.

Yesterday, I read an article about oreos being as addictive as cocaine.
Seeing as how I have never done cocaine, I will have to take their word for it.
I do know that when I quit wheat and I went to a friend's house and oreos were taken out of the cupboard, I took big sniffs. They smelled AMAZING. But, I fought the urge.
I read a bunch of comments from people about how oreos would not cause you to steal your grandma's TV like a cocaine addiction would. But, that is faulty reasoning. I am pretty sure John Belushi never stole his grandma's TV.

A Pumpkin and a Pumpkin

I mentioned having a cinderella pumpkin to Susie from loonysuse and I told her I'd get a picture of one of mine since she hadn't seen one.
Here it is:

I also have some pie, or sugar, pumpkins.
But, I think everyone knows what they look like.

I did cook my very first long neck pumpkin this year.
Here is what this one looks like:

Ten Things Tuesday- The Birthday Song

Today is my birthday.
Hold your applause, please.

I thought I would compile a list of birthday songs that I like.
I hope I can find ten.

So, here's this week's ten things Tuesday.

1. Birthday- Beatles
     I love this song. One of my favorites.



2. Happy Birthday- Weird Al
     What's an occasion without Weird Al?


3. Happy Birthday Hippo Rap
     Interesting.



4. Birthday Song- Carole King
     I have never heard this one before today.


5. Celebration- Kool and the Gang
     Because you made it through another year, you have to celebrate.


6. Party Rock Anthem- LMFAO
     Celebrate with a party.



7. Darth Vader says  Happy Birthday



8. Unhappy Birthday- The Smiths
     Why you would take the time to wish someone you don't like an unhappy birthday, I will never know.


9. In Da Club- 50 Cent


10.  Birthday Gal- The Replacements


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Have a great Tuesday!
  
  

I Really Don't Know

I don't really have a topic for today.
I have realized that I need to get my thoughts together earlier in the day or I don't have a chance to post.

That's what happened to last Tuesday.
When I thought of it, Honeyman was on the computer and was doing his fantasy football leagues-yes, in the plural- so I couldn't get it done.

After that, I kind of went into a funk and didn't get anything up.

Good news.
I am almost done with my gazillion apples.
This is what I started with:

That was not even half of what came off my dad's tree, but this was what we brought home from picking.
I have made apple butter, apple jelly, applesauce, apple crisp, froze some, and some are in the fridge to eat fresh.
I have just enough left to make another big batch of applesauce and some more apple butter.

I am kinda appled out.

I sicked the attorney general on Ocwen's ass. My mortgage servicer has denied my home modification. Fine. Fine. But, they have stopped sending me statements and that's a big no-no. I can't get anyone to talk to me.
So, let's see how they like this turn of events.

What else?
I turn the big 4-2 tomorrow.
Today is my sister and father's birthdays.

One way for your family to never forget your birthday?
Be born on or the day after them.
Best way to never get a birthday phone call?
Be born on or the day after them. They always say "Happy  birthday to you, too". Since, I am the day after, I get the " a day early" added.

Finally, here is my pirate skeleton doing his thing. I first posted this a couple years ago so you may or may not have seen it. I can't get the video to copy and paste here from the original post so you will have to check out the link.

Well...

To what?

To where?

Ten Things Tuesday- Reasons to Shutdown the Government

Maybe I should have done this last week.
But, who knows how long this could drag out.

We do have whiners running the country, you know.

So, here are my reasons that we really should shut down the government.
The parts that consider themselves essential anyway.

1. Do we really need new laws every year?
     No we don't. Congress should be in session every few years and not even year round. The President could go down to part-time. Just be there for the big things and call it good. Save us some coin. Everything could go on just fine without them.

2. Not too big to fail
     Remember when we were told banks were too big to fail. Nothing is too big to fail and if we don't start shutting a few things down here or there, we are gonna fail.

3. 401(k)
     Whoever thought Congress getting a 401(k) as a benefit was a good thing? Doesn't that promote conflict of interest? Like there isn't enough of that already. Shut it down til they get a better idea.

4. They got rid of the $2 bill.
     Those things were cool. You didn't see them too often so they were special. Than the government just took them away. Poop heads.

5. They keep changing the Pledge of Allegiance.
     The original said "my flag". That was changed to "United States", than "of America" was added, than later on "under God" was added. Just leave it alone! What's next? They need to learn to quit messing with things. It's been 60 years so we're do for a change of some sort.

6. Old people
     Raise your hand if at least one senator or representative from your state is older than dirt. Some of them have been there for decades. It's time to go.

7. Blowing the budget
     Every few months, they have to raise the debt ceiling. I'd like to raise my debt ceiling too, but it ain't gonna happen. Actually I don't, cause I'd still have to pay it back. But, it would be good to just know that I could.

8. Too many vacations
     If you think you are so important that you have to be in session every year and all year, quit taking all these recesses. Hey! Do you think the reason they act like children is because their time off is called a recess like little kids get? There's a thought.

9. Daylight Saving Time
     I know a lot of people like it, but I hate it. It messes my sleep up. And there are always more daylight hours in the summer than in winter, a day is still 24 hours, and the study that says it saves us money in electricity makes no sense because it would be lighter later anyway without the government messing with the time so we would use less anyway. But, if you get up early, you are using more electricity because it is dark then. And why did they extend it? For years it was end of April/end of October. Now, I have to look it up to see when it is. Who do they think they are?

10. Moving every holiday to Monday
     I know they like their 3 day weekends, but hump day would be good too. A nice little break during to week. Of course, that would mean those poor congressmen wouldn't have time to fly anywhere and that's what matters anyway.  I think if they could move every holiday to a Monday, they would. More convenient.

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Have a great Tuesday!

Just a Pic

Romantix used to go by the name of Adult Emporium. After some consideration, they decided gay porn and S&M paraphenalia screamed romance and not adult book store.
Hence, the name change.

These two businesses have been next to each other for as long as I can remember.
Tools for every occasion!

On a comment a few days back Al told me I needed to get a picture and I told him if I was in the area I would.
Lo and behold, I had to buy windows and paint on the south side of Des Moines.

But

It's only October!

What about Halloween?

See? It's over there. No need to worry. Though I do wonder about the red light that seems to be shining on that dogs rear end. At least I think it was a dog.

Maybe it came down to Christmas and ate Rudolph?

This should just not be happening!

Something just seems wrong about selling grills right next to inflatable snowmen.

I knew It

But, I did it anyway.

What do an agnostic, Wiccan, and cult member have in common?
They are all part of the same happy family.

I am pretty sure I just lost one of my sisters.
It sucks.
But, that's how it goes.

I was raised in a family that just ignored the monkey in the room.
So what if he be flinging poo?

As long as you ignore it,
it's not really there.

But, eventually the shit starts to pile up and smell.
I grew up and realized ignoring was not my style.

I talked to my sister about her involvement with God's Church.
Also known as, Church of God- Preparing for the Kingdom of God.

It didn't seem to be a good place to be.
Any church that requires tithing to be a member is not good.
And than they teach the members that once they give the tithe it doesn't matter where it goes.

Cause, it's for God.
Or Mediterranean cruises or BMWs.
Whatever- it's all good.

Than after the first talk I let it go.

After that little things changed.
No calls or doing things on Saturday.
Personal things in her relationships changed.

I let that go.

Than, I found out about the head of the church being charged with tax evasion.

Can you say too much poo flinging?

So, I decided I was going to talk to her more.
Send court transcripts to her.

It didn't matter.

And now she says I am attacking her religious beliefs and someday she hopes I will see what she sees.
So, I am now ragging on the church leader and the leader of the Worldwide Church of God - which is where COG-PKG came from.

I got mad and told her they were full of shit.
Well, come on.

They both prophesied a lot of things that didn't happen, but I'm the bad one. 

I told her a while back that she was going to lose people over this and she said I was wrong.
She has.

I am supposed to just be OK with everything.
All of it is my problem.

I knew how things could turn out if I said something.
But, in the end, I think I'd have lost her anyway.

I had to try.

Ten Things Tuesday- TV Shows That Have Gone On Too Long

The idea for this one came from fellow blogger, David Oliver.
He has several blogs so I linked to his profile so you can choose which one you may like to read.

At first, I thought maybe I had done one of these.
I've done a few on TV shows, but I checked and I did one on shows that never should have been cancelled.

Turns out I have done 78 Ten Things Tuesdays and I started in May of 2011.
Not bad for skipping a few Tuesdays here or there.

I am going to try to do this list without mentioning a reality show.
There are so many and I could crank out this list in 2 minutes.

Instead I am going to go with the real shows.
Ya, know.
The ones with actors and contract disputes and bad behavior.

So, here we go!

1. Saturday Night Live
     This show used to be the one to stay up for on Saturday nights. Every so many years, they seem to bring it back to life. I think there is no more coming back. Stick a fork in her. She's done.

2. How I Met Your Mother
     At first it was funny. Now, I just want Ted to meet the mother so the show can be over. He should have met her a few seasons ago.

3. The Bold and the Beautiful
     First it was Brooke and Ridge and than Taylor and Ridge. Ridge back to Brooke. Than back to Taylor. Lather, rinse, repeat. Oh dear God! Now, Ridge left the show so it's Hope(Brooke's daughter) with Liam and Steffie(Ridge and Taylor's daughter) with Liam and back and forth he goes. Why do people watch this?

4. Maury
     I do not know which is more sad: A daytime talk show that always seems to have the topic of paternity tests OR that so many people don't know for sure who the father of their baby is.

5. Judge Judy
     This could apply to any court show. Why is this entertainment? I wonder if there are people that just go hang out at their local courthouse for fun.

6. Parks and Recreation
     Remember the show My Name is Earl? It did better in the ratings than this show but which one got cancelled? Parks and Recreation was cheaper to produce so it got to stay.

7.  Wake Up With Al
     The whole Weather Channel was starting to suck, but why put Al Roker on there? To make it less watchable?

8. Two and a Half Men
     You all know my position on this one. It never should have made it past episode 2, 3 at the most.

9. The Good Wife
     Either cancel it or call it something else. Not much of a good wife is she?

10. Cops
     Now, it is Cops Reloaded, but it's the same show. How often can you sit and watch drunk people act stupid and get arrested?

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I tried to go with all current shows. What shows past or present do you should have been put out of their misery?

Have a great Tuesday!

Breaking News

That's right, People! It's National Taco Day. You know what this means? Besides, it's National Taco Day.

You must fulfill your civic duty and eat a taco.
Or 2.
Or 3.

Come on!

You know you really, really want to.