I love getting mail.
Don't you?
A lot of times, I get freebies in the mail.
Some are stuff I sign up for.
Some are not.
Like, somehow I ended up with a subscription to Jet magazine.
I do not know how.
But, I get it until next April.
In case you don't know, Jet is a black people magazine.
It is geared to them and so far I have not seen a white person in any of the pages.
It is mostly entertainment stuff, but sometimes some actual information.
I don't read entertainment magazines so I don't have a clue why I am getting it.
I do look through an occasional magazine, but I don't care about people I don't know getting married.
Or how Will and Jada Smith are raising their kids.
Here's another freebie I got in the mail.
I was excited.
What could it be? It's from Kimberly-Clark. Maybe it's napkins or some kleenex. Awesome.
I can't wait. I just have to know. Free stuff, so it has to be good.
Doesn't it?
What the hell?
Sure, it's a freebie.
How the hell did I get Depends as a freebie?
Are your friends playing jokes on you? We had a neighbor that used to put our name on all of the cards for vacation getaways- the ones where if you hear their spiel for a day you get to spend the night. It took a long time to get off all of those lists!
ReplyDeleteHoneyman said that when the Depends came. I can't figure out who it could be though.
ReplyDeleteYou bring to mind a couple girls I went to school with. Do you remember those things from Columbia House or BMG where you could get 12 cds for a penny? They'd fill them out. Pick horrible cds and fill in some random person's name and address.
I think you got them because you just turned 51. Companies think that is old. :(
ReplyDeleteThe computers all over the U.S. are going to send you old-people stuff!
What the hey?????? How did you get my mail!!!!??????
ReplyDeleteI meant Jet magazine. What did you think I meant?
True story: Okay, it's probably no surprise that Al Penwasser is a pseudonym. Without getting into "his" whole history (I can, you know), he was a made-up person in my Navy squadron. My aircrew shop used to get a whole bunch of stuff in his name all the time. We even got postcards from him. We used to be able to figure out who actually sent them by knowing who was on a trip. Eventually, though, as people left, we had no clue who sent us that postcard from places such as Disney World or the Crimea.
Anyway, the madness soon stopped after an 18-wheeler pulled up in front of our hangar and said that a "Mr. Penwasser" had ordered an industrial roto-tiller. We had to tell him that Petty Officer Penwasser transferred and we didn't know where.
Belle, 51? No! Are you making light of me wanting to hold onto 39? OK, I will admit to 40. So, you're telling me I can look forward to freebie Polident in my future?
ReplyDeleteCompanies are stupid!
Al, Why I thought you wanted the Depends. It's a 2 pack and I would gladly send them to you.
Oh, you whacky seamen. :D
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
ReplyDeleteAmber, Glad you got a good laugh. :)
ReplyDelete@Al Penwasser - sounds like an episode on M.A.S.H. - remember Captain Tuttle?
ReplyDelete@Ruth - I'd be writing "Return to Sender" all over that baby!
That was too funny Ruth!
ReplyDeleteI do what Laurie Peel does - anytime I get anything I haven't expressly asked for I put "Return to Sender" on it.
Sometimes it takes those daft companies another attempt to realize they are just wasting paper and postage trying to mess me up!
And...you're nowhere near enough an age that should be getting Depends - geez I'd have a heart attack if someone thought it'd be a good idea to send me a trial pack. I'd have to go postal if that ever happened.
Great post - it gave me a good laugh (as did Al's little story - he's such a hoot)
Cheers, Jenny
PEARSON REPORT
Laurie, Captain Tuttle LOL. I didn't even think of that.
ReplyDeleteI never thought about return to sender.
Jenny, Al does know how to make people laugh!
It certainly gave Kiddo a laugh when I opened it.
Well, at least you'll know how to manage your leakage. Valuable information!
ReplyDeleteThx for drinking the Kool Aid at LightenUp! Happily following back. Funny stuff!
Kelly, Thanks. Scapbooking is something I have never tried.
ReplyDeleteDawn, I know. I am so lucky. Thanks for the follow.