Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Ten Things Tuesday- Reasons for Avoiding the State Fair

The Iowa State Fair is coming up in just a couple weeks and it is all over the news.
"We just can't wait for the Iowa State Fair. It's so GREAT! All the fun and the food on a stick."

Tons of people flock to it every single year.
Not me.
Not my family.
We are non fair goers.

And this weeks Ten Things Tuesday is all about  why I avoid the state fair.

1. The animal barns
   I know it's a fair and so they judge the biggest pigs, cows, and the like but the barns smell. BAD. And hello, this is Iowa. Drive 30 minutes in any direction and you are going to see plenty of farm animals.

2. The butter cow
  I am so sick of the damn butter cow. #1- it's a waste of butter. #2- it's not like they carve anything out of butter. They stick the butter on a form and smooth it out.
This year, they plan to have cows all over the place because the old butter cow lady died.

3. Too hot
  August in Iowa is hot and humid and I'd rather not walk around sweating with a bunch of other sweaty people. Some of which have really, nasty, sweaty smells.

4. Too many people
  People can be rude. Pack thousands of them together. Add to that the fact that it is damn hot and some of them are jonesin' for some nicotine and you are going to some major rudeness and very few excuse mes.

5. The carnies
  " You know, circus folk. Smells like cabbage." OK so Austin Powers may not always be right.
But, I still don't like to play. Even the easy looking games are almost... not winnable. Or if you do win, it's something you way overpaid for.

6. Nowhere to park
   When you have to pay $8 to park on someone's lawn there might be a parking problem. Good for the Eastsiders that could use the cash though.

7. Food on a stick
  Can someone tell me what the fascination is with having every food imaginable on a stick?
Pork chop on a stick, frozen banana on a stick, and don't forget the newest creation- deep fried butter on a stick.

8. The concerts
  People have a variety of musical tastes. Why is this never addressed? Most of the concerts are country and if they are not country, they are people that were big 20 or 30 years ago. I don't get it.

9. The cost
  Like everything, the cost of the fair is going up, but it isn't getting any better. The majority of the stuff is the same from year to year. Just watching the news tells me that.

10. People are stupid
  They get drunk. They get into fights and I just don't need the drama. Especially if they take it offsite and take out a gun. That's just not cool.

That's it. That's why I don't do the fair.



  1. What about the cotton candy? It's like taking sugar intravenously.
    We haven't been to a state fair in years. But I do love the smells as you walk down the fairway.

  2. I totally agree with you on every point. They have a fair here too, but in the almost 20 years we've been here, we've been to the fair a total of 0 times. I just can't stand anything that has to do with the fair, oh and # 7 is an heart attack waiting to happen.

  3. Life, I never could get past the whole texture thing of cotton candy. Ugh! I do think it it cool to watch it made though.

    Alex, thank you. Too many people I know seem to think I am no fun for not wanting to go to the fair. I know-butter on a stick. What is wrong with people?

  4. Wow, you've just described Walmart!
    Or the Jersey Shore (cast AND location).
    Except, instead of a cow, they have a "Butter Rat."
    Here we have the "Philadelphia UNFair." The Amish exhibit is SUCH a gyp. It's staffed by Unitarians in fake beards.

  5. At this point of my life, read: diet, I sure could go for butter on a stick!
    But yeah, I don't like fairs either. And no offense to the carnie folk out there, but some of them are downright creepy.

  6. I've selected you for a dubious honor involving underwear. Check it out.

  7. Bah humbug! What a Party Pooper! Barnyard aromas, smelly carnies, crowds of sweaty stinky tobacco- jonesin' drunks, and deep-fried butter on a stick?! It sounds delightful ;)

  8. Al, Thanks- I think. I'll check.

    Kara, Just call me Debbie Downer. :)


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