I had this conversation a few weeks ago with the mother of Honeyman's best friend.
It was his( the friend) 40th birthday and we were discussing how you just never really think that someday you are going to be your parent's age.
It's just out there and not really something that is ever gonna happen.
And I have decided that I am not turning 40.
Ever.
Kiddo says I have to. That come October, I have no choice.
I do so.
I choose 39 part deux.
And this is my ten reasons that I am staying 39 forever.
1. At 40, I turn old.
Kiddo says 40 is old. And I am not going to be old. I refuse!
2. No mammograms.
I had my baseline at 35 and that was enough. No more! And I really love how the lady with the flattest chest in the world tells me it doesn't hurt. Well, of course it doesn't hurt HER. She has nothing to stick in that vice.
3. I don't want my body to fall apart.
My mil keeps saying once you are 40 your body starts falling apart. Like taking meds and having surgeries. Maybe that's just her but I am not taking any chances.
4. I don't want bifocals.
My optometrists says once I hit 40, I will soon be in them. That is the magic age for most people. Not me. Never turning 40. Ain't happening.
5.No body sag.
So far exercise works for me in the butt area. But in the end gravity and age will win. So, I must prevent the age part.
Kiddo already tells me my boobs are longer than hers. They don't sag that much. I hope.
6. I never want grey hair.
I know. Who does? I have two sisters older than me. One no grey. The other with plenty of it. It all depends which side of the family I would take after.
That is- if I turned 40. Which I am not doing.
7. No crow's feet for this chick.
Or other wrinkles. I might not look 25 anymore, but I don't have wrinkles and I'd like to keep it that way.
8. Don't age spots come at 40 or somewhere around there?
Those lovely brown spots. I already have major permanent dishpan hands. I don't need age spots to go with them.
9. 40 means I am old enough to be a grandma.
And no. Don't tell me I am now. La La La- I can't hear you.
10. I don't want the weight shift.
I heard a famous person one time say that when you reach your 40s you lose inches one place and gain it in the waist.
People, it was a famous person. So, of course that has to be what happens.
I don't want that to happen. I can't have that happen.
So, I'm staying put.
I must say that I do have much wisdom that comes with age.
But, that age will be ...
Forever 39.
I can't say I blame you. At past fifty, I highly recommend staying thirty-nine. Of course, there are positives that come with turning forty....but I must have forgotten what they are. :) LOL
ReplyDelete1. At 40, I almost died when I fell asleep in the hot tub and everyone else went to sleep. In their beds.
ReplyDelete2. I don't get mammograms. But, I get my prostate checked. I'm never going to prison.
3. I think my body is on the way to falling apart. My knees crack like a couple of maracas.
4.I have bifocals (the no-line kind, though). When I first got them, I was told they make everything look bigger. Which explains why I hung out (no pun intended) at the urinal.
5. No body sag? Testicles in my sneakers. Gravity. It's the law.
6. I have a lot of grey hair. But...I will NOT check the pubes. I think that would really be depressing.
7. I have a flock of crows around my eyes. Thankfully no flock of seagulls. Besides being a hideous 80s band, they'd eat all my french fries.
8. You could connect the spots on my face and come up with the New York City transit map.
9. At my age, I could be a real grandfather. But, as I've told my kids, I damn well better not be.
10. My ass has joined my testicles.
It's tough to remember how old I was when my father was as old as I am now. I was a successful young hip adult who hadn't almost drowned in a hot tub yet and he was an old fart (well, to me).
Now my father is dead.
And I can't go for walk without stepping on my nuts.
39? Keep reaching for the stars.
Oh Ruth, I so adore you!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, 40 is fabulous! The older I get, the more intuned with myself and my thoughts I become. It's awesome! It's like having super powers! Secondly, nothing falls apart at 40. I look better now than I did in my 20s. As for grey hair, well, I can't help you there, I've been battling the demons since I was 18. But L'Oreal has fantastic colours so you could always become a kinky redhead of the greys do show themselves. This was an amazing post Ruth, I love "39 Part Deux!" or in my case, I'm on the 2 anniversary of my 39th birthday! Thanks for being such a great bloggy friend. Your comment really did cheer me up!
Sandra, the feeling is mutual. I do hope the 40s are fabulous. I am going to trust you on this.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad the comment made you feel better.
turning 40 isn't so bad; beats the alternative.
ReplyDelete1) luckily, my kids tell me i'm not old; so listen to mine not yours.
4) bifocals for me at age 31. i first heard that word when i was 29; didn't even want to think about them - i was too young.
6) i have a few grey hairs that i see once in a while, but i swear they must fall out because i don't see them all the time. although i can't tell my youngest when i see a grey hair because she will want to pull it out - i know because she has. i am ok with a little grey but i don't want too much of it.
It was hard for me to turn 40, then 50, then 60. I did get some physical problems, but other than that I haven`t minded getting older. Each decade has its wonderful moments and I hope you enjoy your next one. Make a Bucket List and start checking it off starting this year! That will give you something fun to reach for.
ReplyDeleteEventually you'll be in the Guinness World book of Records as the most decrepit 39 year old in existence, lol.
ReplyDeleteOK, I had commented to Laura and Belle. Now they are gone.
ReplyDeleteUgh!
Hope they were seen.
Yvonne, The point of staying 39 is so I don't have to go through any of that.
40 was a very hard birthday for me to have. Very depressing for sure.Everyone says age is just a number but for me, the number is what I don't like. It has an "emotion" tied to it that you can't cover up.
ReplyDeleteDebbie, I know. Just the thought of having to say 40 doesn't make me feel too good.
ReplyDelete