Am I Losing It Or What?

I am thinking the answer may be a great big YES.

I don't think I am bi-polar because I don't go days on a high and then days on a low.

No, I am more of an hour to hour mood swing kind a girl.

It really doesn't take my mood much time at all from great to CRAP.
Or crap to PRETTY DAMN GOOD.

A few days ago was a really great day. After that the days were so-so.
Yesterday was a crap day until I just about had a major meltdown.

And now I am better today.

Course something will probably piss me off today.
It usually does.

Or someone will say something and make me think about other things and I will get all sad and depressed.

I seriously confuse the hubby.

He doesn't get how I can be in such a good mood one minute and get so mad in the next.

That's a conundrum, that is.

Maybe the next time I get pissy I need to grab me a cup of tea.
Apparently there is supposed to be something in the tea to make a person relax.

I just might have to test that theory.

I love tea so I am sure that will not be a hardship.

Ya know, last night I started a post on here and read through it before posting.
I realized how pathetic I sounded and deleted it before publishing.

I know, I know. Everyone has their bad days.
But, no one likes a whiner.

But just writing it and reading it made me snap out of my funk.
At least for the time being.

Until the next time.

Being the best I can be is a work in progress.

It's like alcoholism.
Except the problems are all in my head, not in a bottle.

Sometimes I don't even know where all this came from.

OK, I did not have a happy childhood.
My teen years sucked.

But, I loved my early twenties.
I was so happy.

Maybe it's because I did whatever the hell I wanted.
And now I can't just go wherever and do whatever.
It frustrates me sometimes.

I guess, deep down, that's where it all comes from.
Knowing that just because I like to go wherever the wind blows me does not mean it is what my family wants and what is best.

So, I sit down and shut up for the greater good.
And maybe that makes me angry.

I hate being angry.
It feels really bad.

But, I am not going to just up and leave my family.
That would make no one happy.

I am just going to have to figure out a way to let go of my frustration.

There are just so many things.

I love being able to stay home.
But, sometimes I wished I could make my own money.
I love having my own garden.
But, sometimes, I just don't want to take care of it.
I am really good at being frugal.
But, sometimes I wish I didn't have to be.

I am just all out of whack.

Working Mother????

Why is there even a term working mother?

Is there a mother out there that doesn't work?

OK, maybe ones that have nannies and don't have outside employment.
But, I am talking about the majority of women out there.

We all WORK.

Either we do it ALL day long at home or we do it at an office.

I work damn hard
and I don't get paid for it.

I clean the house and pay the bills.
I cook and bake.
I garden and can and freeze what I grow.
I fix the computer when it acts up.

When I had outside employment, I never had the time to can or freeze things or even cook home cooked meals.
Which saves money and is healthier.

I don't think staying home is any better than working somewhere else
and working somewhere else is no better than staying home.
There are pros and cons.

And we all have a choice to make.

I guess, maybe not all of us.
But, many of us do.

We have to decide what we believe is in our best interest and in the interest of our family.

But, for any one to say there are stay at home moms and working mothers,just needs to get a clue.

There is working EXCLUSIVELY at home and there is working OUTSIDE of the home.

I have done both and neither one is easy.

There is always something that has to be given up.

No such thing as having it all.

If anyone ever says they have it all, they are just fooling themselves.