I Just Want Some Bath Salts

That's all I want.
Bath salts for my bath.

Can I have any?
I don't know.
Can I?

Can I?

"Bath salts" are illegal in the state of Iowa.
Bath salts are fine though.

This is all just a little confusing.
They are called the same thing.
But, quotes around the words make them bad.

"Bath salts" are a synthetic drug and are not to be confused with bath salts- which are for putting in your bath.
If you find it in the health and beauty section, you should be good.

But, there is a list of the "bath salts" that aren't really bath salts.

Taken from IA DPS-

"Known street names or product names for the “bath salts” of concern include Black Rob, Maddie, Magic, MDPK, MTV, Super Coke, as well as packaging labeled as “Bath Salts” or “Incense” and including a product name such as Aura, Blue Silk, Bonzai Grow, Charge Plus, Euphoria, Hurricane Charlie, Ivory Wave, Lovey Dovey, Ocean, Pixie Dust, Red Dove, Scarface, Vanilla Sky, White Dove, White Girl, White Lightning."

So, if some employee accidentally places these in the health and beauty section of the store, you need to take this list OR memorize( your preference) it so you don't get arrested for drug possession.

Maybe I will have to figure out how to make my own so I can "effervesce" without fear of consequences.

You don't think they would raid my house, do you?

" I don't know. She's so quiet. Who knew she'd have a "bath salts" lab on her property? Are you sure she wasn't making bath salts?"

Breakin' the Law!

Yes, it is the dreaded aloe vera plant. One of the most dangerous plants to ever have in your house that helps burns.

Why, you say?

Turns out it's illegal.

Did you know that? I didn't know that.

Apparently it falls under the same classification of marijuana in the Controlled Substances Act signed into law in 1970.

So, hey grandmas everywhere- beware. You're breaking the law.

It's true. I read it on the internet so of course it's true. The supreme court wouldn't even make an exception.
Did you even know aloe went to the Supreme Court? Apparently so.
In 2001.

Here's the article to back all this up.

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OK, so maybe I jumped the gun a little. I did some checking and I don't think that article is telling the truth.
Aloe is mentioned NOWHERE in the Controlled Substances Act.
Grandmas everyone, I guess you are OK.
Maybe that's why you can buy lotion with aloe in it.
This is so disappointing.
The internet lied to me.
I don't know if I can trust it anymore.

Feeling My Inner Zombie!

Ya know that feeling that you are barely alert enough to function and are downing caffeine like no tomorrow just to be that alert?
It's called the zombie phase.
And I am in it.

I am so exhausted.

I went out to my parent's house on Thursday and just came back this morning.
Which, just so you know, is three nights trying to sleep on a hard ass bed that has a plastic mattress cover.
So, not only is it hard, but every time you move to try and get comfortable(yeah, whatever), it makes noise.

I did come home with a buttload of corn and scads of tomatoes.
So, I have things to occupy my time this week.

They also sent cucumbers and I will be making pickles as soon as I get more stuff to make them.

It was a pretty good visit, over all.

There were some not so great moments when a "excuse me, I need in that drawer" would have been nice instead of just shoving me out of the way.
Yes, that really did happen.
Thanks, Mom.

Or, when political stances didn't mesh.
Even though I didn't bring it up, I apparently said the wrong thing and it was seized upon like a dog with a bone.

So, I don't side with illegal aliens.
So, my mom does.

I don't feel there should be an argument about it.
My opinion is not gonna change and hers isn't.
So why discuss it?

And then the illegal alien issue segued into how everyone in the US wants drugs and that's the whole root of the problem.

Oooookkkkkk.

I really became at a loss for words as how to respond to all of this.

Interesting stuff.
Rather surreal
and maybe laughable, if only in your head.

I love 'em, but I am starting to wonder if they didn't think "Reefer Madness" was a true story.