Monday, January 31, 2011

No, She Wasn't Bit By a Snake

Sometimes I learn from Kiddo.

I guess I am not in the know anymore.
Maybe that dates me.
Do people say "in the know" anymore?

What do I know?
When she first started saying "my bad" I told her that sounded retarded and not to do it anymore.
I didn't realize it was the new way of saying "excuse me, my mistake".

I still think it sounds like idiot speak but I will chalk it up to the sign of the times.

But, now I find out that snake bites are not something you get from a snake anymore.

She comes home and tells me one of her friends got snake bites over the week-end.
What?
So she says it again and I'm thinking a snake bit her.
So I ask and she tells me it is a type of piercing.
Two studs under a person's bottom lip.

I have a cousin with a Monroe.
Stud over the top right corner of the mouth.
When she told me she was getting one, she had to explain what it was.

There are so many types of piercings now that they all have their own names.
OK.
I just thought it was ring with location in front- like nose ring or brow ring.
You get the idea.

I had to explain what snake bites were to Honeyman so I guess I am not so clueless after all.
Usually he seems to know all this stuff before I do.

Then I proceeded to tell Kiddo she is not getting piercings on her face.
She doesn't want them, so that's good.

She does want to dye blue streaks in her hair, but that's not happening either.

Maximum Exposure

Do you ever notice when something big happens in the news you are bombarded with it day after day until there is nothing new to tell and still they tell you?

Then, all of a sudden you don't hear anything.

Like when a so-called important person dies or gets injured.

I have figured out the news will mention it everyday for 3 weeks, maybe 4 if they can drag it out that long.

I guess they figure that is enough, anymore and people get tired of hearing about it.

Honestly?
I was tired of the non-stop coverage after a few days.

Especially when there is nothing new going on.

Most people have a computer or know somebody or someplace that has internet access.
Just let the people that just HAVE TO KNOW look it up.

I don't know if there is just nothing that these news companies consider as better ratings getters or if there really is no other news to fill up the time slot.

I think I could find them some news.

All kinds of stuff is going on with normal people.

I love news. I watch it all the time or read it all the time.
Sometimes, I think too much.
The world's a mess and sometimes I wish I didn't know how much of a mess.

Seriously Stalling

I need to do things around the house, I need to do stuff online.

But, I really don't want to do any of it.

Instead I sit here trying to get motivated.

That is one of my best stall tactics.

If I sit here long enough, I will either get motivated OR I will run out of time and I just have to get it done.

I have now entered the run out of time realm.

I just have to do my chores.

I really have nothing earth shattering to say.
Just thought maybe I'd write something and put off sorting clothes just a wee bit longer.

Today the weather is dreary and makes me just want to lay around and pretend that nothing needs done.
Storm is a comin'.

I am hoping though that Mother Nature decides to skip over my little area of the world.
When it gets bad I have to worry about losing power
and since we have well water and an electric pump, no power means no water as well.

Plus, we get snowed in due to the gravel road getting so bad.

But, I guess if we keep power but are snowed in I have plenty of time to do chores at that time.
But Kiddo is outta toe socks so I guess laundry is a must.

Better go get my laundry baskets.
Fun. Fun.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Go Ahead! Smell It!

My hair is a magnet for smell.

No matter what I am making or who I am around, I will pick up smells.

And certain smells don't want to wash out.

If I spend any length of time around people smoking cigarettes or anything else, I am going to smell like a smoker or a pothead and the smell is worse when I get my hair wet in the shower.

Good reason to stay away from those people.
Ok, I realized that sounded bad.
My dad smokes so it's not like I'm going to stay away.

I can just wash my hair and if I make supper or bake, I smell like what I just made.
And if I am lucky it's a combo.

Like tonight.
I made scalloped ham and potatoes so I have the ham smell goin' on.
I also made these butterfinger bars so I have a sweet chocolate/peanut butter smell mixed in.

It isn't pretty.
Pretty nasty, actually.

And in the winter my hair gets so dry that it doesn't do well when I have to wash it multiple times a day.

I really don't know why my hair is such a sponge.

Honeyman smoked years ago and my hair always smelled worse than his.
How does such a thing happen?

The shampoo I use doesn't matter.
My hair just sucks all the smells up like a vacuum cleaner.

Maybe I need to start wearing a kerchief on my head like Aunt Jemima.

Friday, January 28, 2011

It's Time to Jam!

Back in my youth music soothed me.
The louder the better.
The heavier the better.

I am first a heavy metal fan.

I go through phases where I listen to a lot of pop.
Though certain "singers" or bands I just can't handle.
Sorry, Justin Bieber.
Sorry, Weezer.

I do alternative rock like REM.
It makes me feel good.

I went through a time when I got away from listening to much music and I don't know why.

Music uplifts me.

My nerves get wound and threaten to choke me and I just have to break out the tunes.

My choice tonight is Offspring.
I love them.
They make me want to get up and dance.
If you have never heard them, here's a link to one of their videos.
Embedding is disabled.

I can feel my mood get better with each song.

When I grew up, my mom always had the radio on in the morning.
Maybe that is why I have to have my music.

Do you ever wonder why you ever get away from something that is such a big part of you?

You think it is such a little thing and not a big deal so you just don't do it.

You give up enough and you just don't feel like you anymore.

Life really should be about the little things.

Stuff happens and things get in the way and it's the little things that really give us the most joy.

That's why I have my music, my baking, and my ginormous clawfoot tub to take monkey water baths.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

You Would Have Thought My House Was an Airport

Did you know it can apparently get too cold for LED lights to work right?

It can.
Though I only just found this out.

We got these SNAZZY new Christmas lights. They are totally awesome.
14 different functions
AND it has a remote so I don't have to go outside to plug them in.
I just get to stand in the doorway.
How awesome is that?

Well, Christmas has come and gone and the lights are still up.
Cause it's so freaking cold.
So, I got this ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT idea.
I KNOW.
I am just that good.

I thought- Kiddo has to get on the bus in the dark.
Stupid school
but, anywho
There is a solid white light function.
I will just turn it to that so there is a little extra light.

Since we are in the country, there are no street lights so night is-well- dark.
OK, early morning.
But, roosters have not crowed so it might as well be night.

It got seriously cold the other night.
And when I turned the lights on they came on and started flashing.
Not blinking like Christmas lights.
Flashing like a cell phone tower or those airport lights.
Super bright white lights just flashing.
It was like bad strobe lighting.

The outdoor cats were all freaking out.
Probably wishing they would have stayed in their little houses.

The remote would not shut off the damn things.
Tried unplugging and plugging back in and that didn't work.

So, they got unplugged and stayed that way for a couple days until the temperature was above 0.

Now we are kosher.
And I don't have to worry about planes landing in my backyard.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Back To Normal?

Tonight Honeyman goes back to work.
Yay!

Hopefully things will get back to normal now.
Whatever normal really is.

Not really sure.
Whichever.

But, it's back to MY normal.

Days of being by myself and being quiet so I don't wake the snoring gentleman in the next room
and nights of sleeping by myself.

Sounds like a good time doesn't it?

But, I will also be able to spend more time online making some cashola!

Which just wasn't happening while he was home.

But, I can also get back to my blog posting which I have been seriously pathetic on updating.

Back to life, back to reality!

Whoopie!

Thursday, January 20, 2011

I Get Out in 5 !

Kiddo is a full fledged teenager and there is no escape.

I am getting attitude and there is no time off for good behavior!
For me, not her.

She has a set amount of time she is allowed for the internet per day.
She got that.

Than tonight there was a song she wanted to hear and it was on the internet so she got on to hear it.
Didn't think it mattered for just one song.

Yeah, I know it was just one song.
But, she doesn't get it.

She knew she wasn't supposed to and she did it anyway.

But, I am the bad guy for making her shutdown her laptop.

I get the sullen looks and defensive manner a lot.

I asked her about school today and she went on about how she has to spend 8 hours a day in school talking about school stuff and she doesn't want to have to come home and talk about it.

You can almost hear the violin can't you?

I don't know what she is going to do when she gets in high school and has to do actual homework.
At least I assume there still is homework in high school.
I know I had homework in 8th grade and she barely ever does.

I have heard so many times that I need to pick my battles.
But, it is hard when she makes EVERY THING a battle.

I miss my little girl.

Not baby little.
I like kids potty trained, eating solid food, walking, and talking.

But I miss the girl that was always happy and laughing.

Now, she has been replaced.
Probably by an alien.

I can see glimpses of her,
but I'd like her back full-time.

Sometimes I think the teenage years are kind of a prison sentence.
You do your time and you make it through.

You have to go flat-
no such thing as parole.

I do think I may have earned it though.

Monday, January 17, 2011

The Title that Never Was

Nothing is jumping out as a name for today's post
so it is what it is.

Sometimes I just hate the way my mind works.

Someone says something or writes something and I almost feel like it is directed at me.
And intellectually I know it's not.

I really hate that I still have insecurity issues.

Other times I know it isn't directed at me, but apparently someone else believes it is directed at them.

So in all cases, it may be or it may be not.(may not be? whatever)

Maybe to a certain extent we all have a bit of insecurity.

I know, just when I think I have mastered my self esteem "issues"
one tiny little thing seems to bring it all back.

With that comes the feelings that no one really gives a crap what is going on with me and so I don't tell anyone.

Right now, I am at that place again and I hate it.

One day I will snap out of it and be fine for quite a while. I won't care what any one says about me or that they never acknowledge me.
I'll be happy being me.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

I Have to Eat!

I have this urge to eat, but I'm not hungry.

I hate it when I do that.

When I was 20 years younger, it was no problem.
I could eat everything and not gain a pound.

But, I am 20 years older and I have been spayed so I gain easily
and lose- never.

But, still I feel like eating.
Just to taste some yummy food.

Cheese, glorious cheese
Makes everything scrumptious!

I could go for some skittles
Taste the rainbow!

Afterward I would feel bad.
Physically.
Emotionally.

Gum just doesn't cut it.

A drink doesn't work.

What is it those trainers say?
Whenever you feel like getting something to eat, drink a glass of water instead.
You won't feel like eating then.

Really?

But, I don't want water.
I want taste.

Maybe it's cause I know I need to shed some pounds and psychologically my body is screaming "NO".
And it is trying to sabotage me.

Maybe if I can ever conquer the need to eat, I will actually lose something.

And crap, I have cheesecake brownies in the fridge.

Friday, January 14, 2011

And the Stupid Shall Inherit the Earth

I think they are in the process of taking it over.

Why do all these companies and government agencies pander to the stupid?

It only allows people to realize they don't have to use their brains.
They can be dumb as a box of rocks.
They can sue.
Because, " You didn't tell me!"

Some lawsuits are valid.
But, come on.
Who mows a hedge?
A dumbass, that's who.

And so the stupidity grows and grows and grows.

Fabulous example:

The FDA is now requiring vicodin to lower the amount of acetaminophen in the product because people don't know that is one of the key ingredients.
It says APAP ON THE BOTTLE.
So, people are taking Tylenol on top of the vicodin and ending up in the ER.

Actually, the pamphlets that come with all pharm drugs say ACETAMINOPHEN. The bottle says APAP.
All pharmacies have to give out pamphlets saying the name of the drug prescribed, the ingredients, reason for use, and possible side effects.
Wouldn't you want to know what APAP is?

Whose fault is it that people don't read?

OK, I admit that I read everything.
I read those pamphlets.
I read loan papers and insurance policies.

I just like to be informed.

But, shouldn't we all want to be?

Isn't it better to take a couple minutes out of your day to read the pamphlet and know what you are taking than to end up worse off because you were stupid?

All this is getting out of hand.
Maybe it was already out of hand.
Now it's getting out of arm.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

I Think I Can

I have faced it.

I have to go shovel my driveway.

Ugh!
I don't really want to.

Well, I do so I can say I did.

Does that make sense?

I have always pretty much sucked at the shoveling part of winter.
Honeyman can do it 3 times as fast as I can.

But, right now he is out of commission.
We don't plan on going anywhere, but when we do someone is going to have to dig out.
And this time, I think that somebody is me.

I guess I really have nothing better to do.
Other than stay inside and stay warm.
Maybe go cuddle up to Honeyman and sleep.

No, no, no!
I can do this.

Chugga, chugga, choo, choo!

If I can lift my arms later, I will be back.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Sleepless Nights and Busy Days!

I am so tired of not sleeping at night.

I sleep good about 3-4 nights a week, if I'm lucky.

I have this theory that if I don't nap during the day, I will be able to sleep at night.
So far, the theory remains a theory that has not been proven.

All I do is become more of a zombie, if that is at all possible.

I have to stay busy during the day or I sit in my chair that I am convinced contains chloroform.
It has to or just sitting in it for any length of time would not get me super sleepy or flat out fall asleep.

I could lay down with Honeyman when he comes home from work.
But that defeats the whole "no nap" concept.

Today was really bad.
I didn't sleep good at all last night.

Just when I was actually getting into the deep sleep that my body craved it was time to get up.

Honeyman had his surgery today so I got to sit in uncomfortable chairs half the day and be really stressed.
So, I sit here just waiting for my daughter to get out of the bath and into bed so I can crawl into mine.

I hope Honeyman sleeps good and I don't disturb him.
Cause if he needs to get up, I have to help him get up.

That sounds a bit selfish.
Ask me if I care.

I'll let you in on a little secret.
I don't care if I am.

Maybe later I will.
But, I am just too tired to care.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Do I LOOK Like a Senior Citizen to You?

This is me during Christmas cookie making. Do I look old? I don't think so.

But, I am being singled out by all the companies that specialize in selling to old people.

Just now I got an email about getting a senior reverse mortgage.
I am not even old enough to own my house outright.

I have always gotten things.
Even when I was a senior
in HIGH SCHOOL.

I get it.
I have an old lady name.
But, come on.

The AARP wanted me to join when I was twenty.
Shouldn't they really be doing their homework?

Just because 99% of the population in Iowa of people named Ruth are over the age of 65 doesn't mean younger people might not have it.

Seriously.
I have met one person with the name Ruth who is my age.
She was so excited too.
Because all she knew were old people Ruths too.

The only other young people with the name are characters in TV shows so that doesn't count.

Could this be considered ageism.
Or maybe name profiling.
Or name/age profiling.

It could be.
There may be a large database somewhere that classifies the age of people by their name.
Here's a Chad- looks like 40 or so.
There's a Mackenzie- sounds like a teenager.

I may be onto something.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

After Taking Down the Christmas Tree Don't Forget to Check the Oven

Today has been a very industrious day.
And I am not done yet, people.

I have once again learned something very valuable.
Knowledge is just so never ending.

So, I started off my day by making french toast for Honeyman.
Seconded that by mixing up a batch of my 100% whole wheat bread.
Next came time to take down the Christmas tree and the decorations.

So, we are later than most.
But, we buy a live tree and want to get the most out of it.
Hey, it's not July.
We're not that odd.

Kiddo helped me take down the tree.

Mind you, we have a tiny house and the only way to take the tree out of the house is through the kitchen.

The tree was bushy.
It bushed out a ton after we got it home.

So, taking it through the living room doorway into the kitchen was a chore.
Now, it's in the kitchen and there is still not a lot of room.
I knocked over a kitchen chair and left needles over the top of the stove.

Eventually, I got it out the door and drug it down to the burn pile.
Came back in and cleaned up the house.

I thought I got all the needles.
That was just not so.

My bread was ready so I turned on the oven.
When it preheated, I stuck the loaves in and went to start laundry.

I came back in the kitchen and it just smelled horrible.
I thought something was burning.
But, everything on top the stove was fine so I checked the oven.
At first, I didn't notice.

Then, I saw it.
There it was laying innocently beside one of the coils.
It was the tip off of one the the tree branches.

I should have thought to check the inside of the oven.
Silly me.

I am thinking it must have squeezed through the ....
Oh, hell!
I don't have a clue how it got there.

It just didn't want to go out with the rest of the tree.
So, instead it got burned up in the bottom of the oven.

That's my lesson for the day.
Isn't learning great?

Friday, January 7, 2011

I Was Old From the Start

I just found out something totally new this week.
Apparently glasses are for old people.

My cousin says so
so it must be true.

She is in her 30s and is just now getting her first pair and so she says she is getting old.

I was two
Or maybe a little earlier than that when I got my first pair of glasses.

They were a sight to see, let me tell you.
My mom still has the evidence in her photo album.

But, they were old lady glasses,
just like my mom and the old ladies at church wore.
Not the big round ones.
The ones that are kinda small and horrible.They weren't sunglasses but that's the close shape.
Hideous to put a child in one.

My next pair are what I like to call my Buddy Holly glasses.
Yes, those square black, thick frames that no 5-8 year old girl should have to wear.
But, my dad had a pair and they never broke so Mom thought they would be good to get.

Ya know I just can't imagine why a red headed girl(uncommon at the time) wearing Buddy Holly glasses would be ripe for getting picked on do you?So, I got the glasses and I got the old lady name. Too bad wisdom didn't also start so young.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

And Another One Bites the Dust!

Every year I have a plan.
Some people might call it a resolution.

Not me.
It's a plan.

I have implemented half of my plan.
It's using my budgeting skills for the greater good.
MY greater good.

The second half of the plan is to set some money aside every paycheck.
Starting now.

The plan is already going like a boat taking on water.

I don't know how it happens.
But, every year I have the same damn plan and never get to do it.

I did get to put my half payments each check plan part in action and hopefully be able to maintain it.
I've been wanting to try that for a while.
It's supposed to help pay things down faster.

Cross your fingers.
Just on one hand though or that's a double cross and it won't work.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

I am Super Savvy!

I just found this out and I had to share.

The Early Show just did this story on how products are getting smaller, but we are charged the same price.

Hello!
Is this really news?

Apparently so, since they are like "most people don't even notice".

How could you not?

But, only the super savvy consumers notice.
That means me.

Woo Hoo!

Nothing like saying a person is smart just for paying attention.

Anyone that can't tell that bag of potato chips now contains MORE air than chips is an idiot.
You don't even have to look at the number of oz. on the bag to tell that.

Why does watching the morning news programs always make me feel like they are the reason people are ending up stupid?
They tell you things that are just common sense.
No real news.

So, if you watch them, you don't need common sense.

That makes me wonder why I ever watch them.
I guess I keep hoping against hope that I will actually learn something useful.

But, I guess I did today.

I am SUPER SAVVY!

I must find my cape.

Monday, January 3, 2011

Ahhhh, Monkey Water!

I love my monkey water baths.

In case you don't know what monkey water is,
let me enlighten you.

Monkey water is water that is so hot you say "ooh ooh aah aah"
Just like a monkey.
Scratching arm pits is optional.

Why is this such important news?
Because, the week of Christmas my water heater died and no more monkey water baths for a few days.

My wash water was heated on the stove.
That was fun.
Good thing I have a big stock pot and several Dutch ovens.

Not enough to fill my ginormous clawfoot bathtub, but good enough to get me clean.

Santa Claus came in the form of my inlaws this year who paid a shitload for a better water heater than we could afford.

Propane water heaters cost more.
Lucky me.

So Honeyman and father-in-law went and got it December 23rd and put it in the 26th.

Yay for hot water!

Due to the fact that our house is almost 100 years old and built oddly, it took forever to get it installed.
In the course of it all, fil broke the hot water line.

But, it's in and it works and I get my monkey water baths back.

OOOH OOOH, AAAH AAAH!

I Think Maybe Meatloaf Was Wrong

In October, my 14 year old had to have her gallbladder removed.
It was not working right and was causing a lot of pain.

Finally, my husband goes to the doctor because he is in pain.

He had gone to another doctor a couple years ago and they did an ultrasound, didn't find anything and said if it got worse they would check into it more.

Well, it has gotten worse and I finally convinced him to go to the doctor.

This doctor did more than an ultrasound and said they'd figure it out.
Did a HIDA scan and yeah- it's his gallbladder.

HIDA scan is where they run dye through your system and take pictures of the abdomen to see how well the gallbladder functions.

His is at 12% which is lower than Kiddo's.

He's in so much pain and he is tired all the time.
He's all pale.
It just isn't good.

He goes in to see the surgeon tomorrow.

His work clothes felt looser when he put them on last night.

We are hoping that is not a bad sign.

So, two out of three people in the house have bad gallbladders.
Two out of three is bad.

Sorry, Meatloaf.
You were wrong.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Parenthood, ain't it grand?

Sometimes, I swear, I just feel like throwin' in the towel.

When I daughter was growing up, I really worried about how good of a parent I was.

But, then a couple years ago, I started realizing I did a pretty good job.
She cares about people and has manners.
She is responsible.

She doesn't have the super great school grades her cousins do, but she has been improving.

But, she calls herself stupid and it breaks my heart.
She says she hears a little voice in the back of her head telling her she can't do it.

And I am just at a loss as what to do.
Honeyman and I tell her she is smart.

No, I think I am just going to have to start the " you are smart" campaign.
Just keep telling her until she believes it.

So, either I didn't do so hot after all.
Or it's just an insecurity thing that comes with all teenagers.

All teenagers seem to have a hangup about themselves and this one is apparently my daughter's.

When I tell her she's not stupid, it's like banging my head against the wall.