Monday, November 29, 2010

Seems Just Like Yesteday

15 Years ago I started dating Honeyman.

Well, 15 years ago sometime this month.

I don't remember the day, just that it was around Thanksgiving and that's the end of November.

I really don't know how people remember the day they met their future partner.
They remember the date they first went out or kissed.

No, I don't do that.

I got a month and a year so I am gonna call that good.

I can't ever forget the number of years. I just add a year to my daughter's age.
To get my anniversary, I subtract a year from her age.

Easy, peasy !

It is just so weird.
In many ways it feels like we haven't been together long.
That we just met.

Other times, it seems like forever.
Some days in a good way.
Some days in a not so good way.

We think a lot alike and say what the other is thinking.
It's like we are inside each others heads.

Which is cool and creepy all at the same time.

We have made it so far against big odds.

So many couples we know are breaking up.
And they were together for years before they got married.

We were an odd couple to begin with.
He was a serious partier, thinking it was time to slow down.
I could party, but was never one for going out all the time.
So, maybe not so odd.

But, we had some good chemistry.
And I was pregnant in a couple months time.

Birth control is not infallible you know.

And bless him, he stood by me.
He was willing to go along with what ever choice I made.

So, we had Kiddo.

And a year after that we got married.

We have been through a lot and there have been times when I wondered if we were going to stay together.

But, for now we are.
Things may change .
You never can tell.

Friday, November 26, 2010

Something (Or Maybe Nothing) To Talk About





Before I forget I want to give a big thank you to Average Girl for awarding me the prestigious tanned hide award.
All these awards and the attention makes me feel so appreciated.I am feeling the love.

I also have a picture to share. It just makes me laugh.

But, anyway.....

It was a pretty good Thanksgiving.
So peaceful.

And I got gifts( for others for Christmas) today.
The best part of that is I didn't have to go anywhere.
I love online shopping.

And I ordered the stuff Tuesday during Black Friday Deals all week.
And they came today.
Didn't even pay for expedited shipping.
How cool is that?

Yay!

I figure I better get everything now and be done with it while I am still hopeful that it will be a good Christmas.
The closer to the day that it comes, the more I just don't want it.
But, more about that later.
I don't want to mar my decent mood with thoughts of bad Christmas's past.

Of course, I think my dueling banjo penguins may be dead.
I got them out and put batteries in and they won't play.
Bummer!
I checked the batteries and they work in my booty shakin' Santa.

Booty shakin' Santa sings "Are you ready for this?", spins and shakes his tushy.
I'll have to take a picture of him.
Or video
So you can get the full effect.

I have never uploaded video onto the internet before.
It can't be that difficult.
Can it?

I bet a caveman could do it.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

It's So Shiny!

First of all I would like to give a big thank you to SSW for awarding me the Shiny Turkey Award based on my Thanksgiving story.
See, how pretty and shiny it is.
It's always nice to know that my story has been appreciated.

Don't know why I said first of all cause I really have no other points to make.

Oh well. It's out there now and I ain't changin' it!

I have to go bake a pie or two now.
Hopefully get to the bank today if the roads aren't too bad.
Stupid drizzly freezing weather.

But, that's what I get for living in Iowa.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Since When Does That Mean I Invited You?

We all have the memorable Thanksgiving story.

Either it's really bad or it is super hilarious.

My story could kinda qualify for both, I guess.

These days Thanksgiving is just me, Honeyman, and Kiddo.
Years ago, when Honeyman's grandma was alive and well, she came over too.

Except for one year.
Oh, what a pleasant surprise that was.

We were just planning on having us and Grandma G. like normal.
The night before Honeyman's brother calls up and asks if they are still invited.
What?
No one invited them.

But, my dimwitted sister inlaw(at the time), thought I did and she told her husband.
So, what are we going to say?
"No, you're not invited. Your wife is just stupid."
Instead Honeyman pretends he has a clue and says it's OK.

He's good at that.

It took me a while to figure it out.
The week before, they were up to visit and I asked her what their plans were for Thanksgiving.
I guess that is some sort of code for " Wanna come over ?" and no one told me.
OR Honeyman.
I thought I was just trying to make polite conversation.
Who knew?

So, we ended up with an extra 4 people for Thanksgiving.
Thank God we always get a large turkey.

So, my brother-in-law and 1 nephew show up at like 10 in the morning.

We don't eat til about 3 or so.
Grandma G shows up shortly after.

I'm left in the kitchen to cook everything and talk to no one.

About noon I put out the snacky foods, which include little smokies.

Sister-in-law shows up with nephew number 2 right at meal time with a crockpot full of
-you guessed it-
little smokies.

Anyway we eat.

My sister-inlaw eats tons and tons of food.
But is not happy no one is eating the smokies she brought.
Maybe if she'd have brought them sooner.
Just sayin'.

So everyone is visiting and sis-inlaw goes to the bathroom.
This is the fun part.

She clogged my frickin' toilet!

She comes out and Kiddo goes in.
Mind you, my daughter is about 5 at the time.

The water is rising in the toilet so Kiddo tries to flush again and it overflows.
She freaks thinking its her fault.

My sister-inlaw sees what is happening as we are cleaning up.
She gathers everyone up and leaves.

She just leaves and lets my daughter think it was all her fault.
Poor thing just cried and cried thinking she did something wrong.

Way to own up to your big dump, Lady.

But, that Thanksgiving will be forever known as the Clogged Toilet Thanksgiving.

Awww, memories!

Thursday, November 18, 2010

What Is Friendship, Anyway?

Here lately I have been giving a lot of thought to what friendship really means.

Growing up I never had any real close friendships.
Due to my upbringing, and the fact that I got picked on all the time I really never learned how to bond with anyone.

That fact is very sad to me.

Learning to be close to people is important.

I have learned, but it is still hard for me to make friendships and when I do it seems to be with people that don't open up about things.
Or seem to want me to share.

And I am at a point, I need that sometimes.

I have my husband.
But, that isn't always enough.
And when we are facing the same thing it is hard.
Another person would be nice.

He has that.
I really don't.

What has really made me start thinking about all this is because of my daughter.
Over the last several years she has had a variety of different health issues.

And each thing takes more and more out of me.

I have had people that I have thought were good friends, not once seem at all concerned about how I or my family were doing through all this.

My husband says they don't care because it's not their kid.
But, as a friend shouldn't they care enough about you to ask?

I think so.

After this whole gallbladder surgery business, I have really started to wonder how much I really want to be friends with someone that acts like its not a big deal.
That when you mention why your daughter has been sick and she is having surgery
the only response is- she'll feel better.
No phone call or email after the surgery to see how she is.
No response to facebook statuses that she is getting along really good.
Nothing.
Absolutely nothing.

I still care.
I just care a little less.

Maybe I shouldn't be that way.
But, that is how I feel.

Monday, November 15, 2010

It's That Day Again!

I get them every now and again.

It's what I like to call my "I don't give a shit day".

We all need an I don't give a shit day.

Am I right or am I right?

You can't just spend every day trying and doing and caring.
If you do, you are
A. stronger than I am
OR
B. gonna crack and need a heavy dose of Valium.

So, I take my I don't give a shit days as they come.

I used to hate when I would get them.
Guilt would settle over me, cause I felt like I should do or care. But, I didn't.

These days I give myself permission to feel good about not doing or caring.

I should be doing stuff online to make some coin.
But, I'm not
and I don't care.

I just refuse to feel guilty for not doing it.
I
JUST
DON'T
GIVE
A
SHIT

Try it.

I am sure that you will find not giving a shit suits you from time to time.

But, remember, all things in moderation.
You still should wear deodorant and brush your teeth if you're going out in public.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

The Good, The Bad, and The Very, Very Ugly

My daughter is so grown up and she got her first driving lesson yesterday.

That's the good.
Cause she did great and someday she can be my chauffeur.
Unless the feds pass that damn 18 year old license thing.

Why should she be my chauffeur?

Well, that's the bad.
I hate to drive.
It makes me nervous.
Like really, really nervous.

So, I don't do it much.

Now what, may you ask, is the very, very ugly?

It's why I really hate to drive.

This was many, many moons ago.

I was speeding down a gravel road.
I had a lead foot in those days and this guy I was with was egging me on to go faster.

I did and I lost control.
I ditched the car.

Oh, but I did more than that.
I get out of the ditch back on to the road because the car had enough speed and power.
I still did not have control and I went down into the other ditch.

I freaked when everyone started yelling for me to do this or that.
I took my feet off the gas, clutch, brake.
Everything.
The car died.

So, we were stuck.

Luckily, a farmer saw my beautiful ditch to ditch action and pulled us out with his tractor.

Seriously, that wreck would have been youtube worthy.
If there was youtube back than.

So, that was the start of my hate of driving.
Or maybe it is fear wrapped up to look like hate.

No one got hurt.
Except for a tall dude in the back seat bumped his head.
And I got on good authority that I'm sexy when I wreck.
And I guess that's all that really matters.
Right?

Most likely I will never wreck again.
I know that.

I still like the idea of having my own chauffeur.

Monday, November 8, 2010

I'm Too Sexy For My Sleeves!

Yep, that's what I am going to be singing in about a month or two.

I did it.
I broke down and bought that arm, shaky thing.
I don't know what it's called.

But, it is supposed to eliminate the old lady bat wings that used to be arms.
And who wants that?
So I am just going to do a preemptive strike.

No flabby-ass arms for this chicky.

Since it works on the upper body maybe it will have the nice added bonus of changing the gravitational pull the earth is having on my boobage.
With good arms must come non sagging boobage.
It's the law!

OK, so it's my law.
It's still a law.

I'd like to get one of those treadclimbers too.
But, alas I have no money and my house is too small.

If I could use my basement, it'd be perfect.
But, it is the sort of place Hannibal Lector would keep his victims before eating them.
So, I'll pass on that.
Plus, I don't want to disturb the toad that has taken up residence down there.

I know he lives there, he talks his toad talk some nights when it gets quiet.
Don't know what he is talking about.
Probably about how great it is that he is finding so many bugs to eat.

Anyhow,
That means no treadclimber.
For now, anyway.

Shaky weight- that's what the name is.
Now, that's doable.

Friday, November 5, 2010

NaNoWhat?

NaNoWriMo is apparently a word that everyone seems to know about.
That is but me.

OK, I do now.
I looked it up.

I used search.
I use search so much, I should own my own search engine.

But, I digress.
I have been checking out different blogs and people keep talking about NaNoWriMo.
And than I feel like a dumbass for wondering what the hell that is.
I figured out the writing and month part.
Thought maybe the No was for November.
So what is Na?

National Novel Writing Month
Ooooohhhh.

I will admit to my ignorance.
Not to stupidity.

Cause I just didn't know.
You can't be stupid if you are just unknowing.

I guess, you could be.
If you were told, but just didn't pay attention.

But, I was never told.
Therefore I am ignorant and not stupid.

So, what am I going to do with this new found information?
Absolutely nothing!

Not sure I could be classified as a real writer.
Ok, sure. I write this blog, I write articles for Bukisa, and I have a recipe blog I write.
But, I am not novel writing.

I see the funny in ordinary situations.
But, I don't know how to write a story about a woman in a high waisted gown who gets lost and almost dies and is saved by the down on his luck cowboy.

Not so it would be worthy of Harlequin, anyway.

So, I will leave all of that to the people that do know how.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Completely Bogus, If You Ask Me

IA.
Election day.

Supreme irritation and disappointment.

Not a surprise
But still a disappointment.

A former governor that decided 12 years ago that he didn't want to lead the state anymore changed his mind and got reelected.
Again expected.
But, wondering about what people are thinking.
You can't go back, no matter how much you want to.

And it's not like he was the greatest governor anyway.

Grassley won in the senate.
Come on!
He has been in there for 36 years and before that he was in the House of Representatives.
A change MIGHT be nice.

What really pretty much takes the cake for me is the judge thing.
Here is the thing-
The IA Supreme Court UNANIMOUSLY voted that the ban on same sex marriage was unconstitutional.
So, some doofus decided the three justices up for retention needed to be removed.
And people are going for it.

Now, I believe in the right for everyone to marry same sex or opposite sex.

But, for me this is not the issue.

The issue is that people are picking out ONE opinion they ruled on and decided they should not be judges based on this.

There have been other rulings they have made that were not great, but no one thought they ought to be kicked out because of it.

No, they pick this.
Same sex marriage doesn't take anything away from anyone else.

And it doesn't overturn the ruling anyway.

The court said that law was a form of discrimination.
I find it very sad that so many people think discriminating against anyone for anything is OK.

Congratulations, Iowans.
Bigotry is alive and well.
The people have spoken.

It's That Time Again!

It's November and CRAZY time starts around here.

From September on, it just never stops.

Birthdays, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and than the dreaded Christmas.

This year there was the added element of Kiddo and her surgery.

But, Thanksgiving isn't so bad.
It's just the three of us.
I make everything and it's good.
Turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes- the good stuff.

Than time to go nuts, making sure I have all the Christmas presents figured out.
I usually send out cards and bake stuff for friends.
But, not sure I am doing all that this year.

Every year I get less cards.
By less I mean 4 instead of 7.

Half the people I bake things for don't really seem to give a shit.

I know it is better to give than to receive and all that crap.
But, ya know what?
I don't care.

I get tired of spending all the time to either make cards or fill them out and mail them
I get tired of spending time baking pumpkin bread or cookies or making candy
and having little or no response.

Is it too much to ask that someone appreciate it?

A few people do. But not many.

And I am not asking for a return gift.
But a thanks somehow would not be amiss.
Having someone take it and sit(or is it set?) it on the counter with no word is a little bit disappointing.

Christmas has never been my best holiday anyway.
Growing up, gifts were always a disappointment.
I never had much fun.
It was always about obligations and not fun.

One year, my grandma died three days before Christmas
But she wasn't found til Christmas Eve.

And yet we still had to go down to the other grandparent's house on Christmas day.
Cause that is what you did.
It was horrible!

And now it is still about obligation and not fun.
We go into the inlaws on Christmas Eve and not have fun.
Whoo, I love that.

We used to do family pictures.
But my brother inlaw got divorced and since than they haven't done that.

Which I really don't get.
He has sons and they are his family.
Just cause there is no wife there doesn't mean it isn't a family.

But, whatever.

We don't have to do them.

But, on Christmas we stay home.
I hate going here and there so I decided we aren't.
My parents just have to live with me never being out there for Christmas.

Since mil won't have us do a no show, my parents get to deal with it.

Sometimes I wish I lived out of state.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Dave Sayer, You Can Come To My House

Really, I don't mind.
In fact, I'd love it.

I'd even make you cookies if you'd just bring me one of those great big checks.

What do I need to do to get you to come?

I enter online all the time.
I even buy some of your overpriced stuff from time to time.
I have never ordered magazines.

Is that it?
Do I need to get magazines that I will NEVER EVER read?

Maybe I need money to begin with.
I have happened to notice from all those commercials of winners that they all have nice homes.

No one lives in a piece of shit house like me,
or even a rundown trailer.

Ya know, the people that could ACTUALLY use the money.

I don't want to spend all the money.
Yes, I do want to improve my lifestyle.

Fix my piece of shit house or just pay it off and build a new one on the property.
Take a vacation that I can afford to take - you know lasts more than 3 days and more than 1 state over.
I'd like to send my child to the college of her choosing- one that doesn't involve coming out of school in debt to her eyeballs.

Is that so wrong?

I just want to buy a pair of jeans or shoes more than once every 3 or 4 years.
Before they get all holey.

All I can do is to just keep hoping you'll stop by with some big balloons and a congratulations.

I hope to see you soon with my PCH winnings!